Miracles in the Here and Now! - part 3
How to feel safe after getting hit by a car? Listen to your inner voice and follow the guidance carefully.
I did not pretend to feel safe. I talked about what issues were coming up for me and I let people know that I had to process the emotion and the pictures in order for my body to heal.
I told people I did not feel safe and when they wanted to wheel me someplace else I said no way not today. You want to do physical therapy with me do it in this room today.
When something was not comfortable for me I told people, I believed in my own ability to make the correct choices for myself at each changing moment. That way I created as much as possible what was safe for myself at that moment. I acknowledged when discernment didn't work and I made my next choices differently. Food and medicine were the fastest feed back loops.
Maybe you don't believe in Angels and Light Beings. Too Bad So Sad. I use to work with a woman in Houston that was always talking about angels; she had figurines on the walls and everywhere. I use to think she was crazy-NUTS.
Then, when I started doing more and more Reiki and Qi Tao Reiki and the room would fill up with Light beings, I began to understand. It completely depended on who I was working on at the time. Sometimes it would feel so crowed I would have to ask some of them to back off. I would say I'm glad you want to help, but it is so crowded in here I can hardly breathe. At first I thought I too was going crazy, but then the clients would also identify some of the light beings.
Some of by clearest images, understandings, and voices came after I studied American Indian Journey work with Berta Shineberry, as well as those gained from my long time mentor Michael Silver Dragon. Light beings don't care weather you are white, black, brown, pink, or purple, and they don"t care about your size, your sex, or your age. My visions, dreams and experiences in living breathing color occurred while drumming, while doing soul retrieval, and while assisting others with Reiki and Qi Tao Reiki. Jesus, Qian Yin , Buddha, a Mayan priest, an Indian Chief, and a Sufi teacher all showed up to encourage me to keep Loving human beings just for what they are.
After years of these and a lot of other weird experiences, I can tell you it doesn't matter what country or religion or belief system you come from, everyone has angels, spirit guides, and assistance if they are willing to be open to receiving it.
Your connection to God is personal and always needs to be respected. However, in the understanding of conscious spiritual evolution, everyone is equal and everyone deserves and is capable of receiving miracles.
One of my best friends, Jesus, told me so. And just like a child I can clearly say it works perfectly. The mind will get in the way when it focuses on negative attitudes. The minute I start doubting and listening to the world of criticism, anger, and resentment, THE MIRACLE that I was starting to experience disappears, and Fear and self doubt flood back in to smoother out my new possibility.
Every thought pattern that Begins with the belief in not getting better is based in confusion. It may be based on other peoples doubts or doctors negative attitudes. Yes of course, some people have already chosen to die. Some people do not have enough training to deal with the whole difficult scene.
This does not mean that you should not use the good old American medical profession, but please realize that they have been indoctrinated into chemical medicines at the huge hands of pharmaceutical companies and insurance companies in the interest of making a profit.
Personally, I can say without all of the help that I had, I doubt that I would have made it. In spite of many wonderful doctors, nurses, and attendants, I can say very clearly, it is a job I would prefer to not do again.
Think Love, Forgive yourself and others and be in the Light. Let the Love and Light be your Joy.
May Peace and Gratitude Surround you these Holidays.
Remember that Love, Light, and the Kingdom of Heaven is within You; simply care about yourself and others, as if they were your best friends.
Love and Light, Cosima
Miracles Here and Now - part 2
Miracles Here and Now! - part 2
Miracles can happen in the here and now when you find that place inside yourself where everything is possible. This is a warm spot inside that is quiet, it is not bothered by voices of resistance or fear.
It is like reflecting out on glittering, swirling water but it has no image or color. Some people call it the Inner Flame or Light. It is your connection to Peace, Great Spirit, or to God.
It becomes clouded over easily with the noise of the world, but to find it again is now easier than it used to be. One does not have to sit in meditation for hours. One does not have to pray incessantly to invoke this presence. One thought will again open the door. Even after heavy night dreams or trauma's that continue to present themselves in this always critical everyday processing we call Life.
This one thought works for me: The Essence of Life Lives Within Me. I then I follow with this short prayer, generally in the morning; I say to myself:
Lord God of my Being, I surrender all of my problems to You.
I yield to Your Will in my Life.
I now take my step in trust.
Please show me the way.
or True Peace = Star: Surrender,Trust,Allow and Receive
One way to experiment with this process, if you choose: Think of a small child who is at play, watching the smile upon their face. The world of their play is an illusion but their fantasy is full of emotion and color. In that moment the grass which they are lying upon is green, the sky over there head is blue, and white puffy clouds form images that anyone in their right mind can see. The image is a changing kaleidoscope form of dragons and birds to angels and turtles. The child is delighted and has no judgment about the shape that they identify. There is no fear about being silly or judgmental about Reality. This is play, there is no failure or comparison. There is no competition, no one is there to tell this child that play is lazy. This is a safe place. The flower of imagination and the delight of recognition is their only focus.
This safe space comes with breathing naturally and allowing ones body to be as relaxed as possible. You may then focus on a place in your body that is in pain, and then find a place that is not in pain; go back and forth between the two areas. If a lot of your body is in pain, pick two distinct areas to observe and go back and forth between them. This creates a neuromuscular nerve patterning that affects your brain and tends to decrease the pain. If the pain is emotional, then remember a moment that was not emotionally painful and go back and forth while feeling and forgetting with a comfortable pleasant memory.
If your having trouble relaxing, try Yoga, Tai Chi, Qigong, or get a hypnosis session with Barbie Flora (Bree Baker). You can also go to the Jemez Springs Bath House for a nice soak in the tub, or get a relaxing massage. Relaxation often occurs after soaking in a warm bath tub, after adding 2 cups of organic apple cider vinegar.
How does one find safe space after being hit by a car? First I did a lot of silent screaming and allowed myself to be surrounded by people who were capable of compassion. I listened inside myself and believed the soft determined voice I heard. This inner voice was with me in my dreams and was not embarrassed to ask for help.
Your inner voice, if listened too, does not criticize; it speaks simply, as in knowingness, and it is not bound with fear but knows Love. This inner voice will stand by you and believe in you regardless of all the panic around, and outside yourself.
Miracles in the Here and Now! - to be continued
Love and Light, Cosima
Miracles can happen in the here and now when you find that place inside yourself where everything is possible. This is a warm spot inside that is quiet, it is not bothered by voices of resistance or fear.
It is like reflecting out on glittering, swirling water but it has no image or color. Some people call it the Inner Flame or Light. It is your connection to Peace, Great Spirit, or to God.
It becomes clouded over easily with the noise of the world, but to find it again is now easier than it used to be. One does not have to sit in meditation for hours. One does not have to pray incessantly to invoke this presence. One thought will again open the door. Even after heavy night dreams or trauma's that continue to present themselves in this always critical everyday processing we call Life.
This one thought works for me: The Essence of Life Lives Within Me. I then I follow with this short prayer, generally in the morning; I say to myself:
Lord God of my Being, I surrender all of my problems to You.
I yield to Your Will in my Life.
I now take my step in trust.
Please show me the way.
or True Peace = Star: Surrender,Trust,Allow and Receive
One way to experiment with this process, if you choose: Think of a small child who is at play, watching the smile upon their face. The world of their play is an illusion but their fantasy is full of emotion and color. In that moment the grass which they are lying upon is green, the sky over there head is blue, and white puffy clouds form images that anyone in their right mind can see. The image is a changing kaleidoscope form of dragons and birds to angels and turtles. The child is delighted and has no judgment about the shape that they identify. There is no fear about being silly or judgmental about Reality. This is play, there is no failure or comparison. There is no competition, no one is there to tell this child that play is lazy. This is a safe place. The flower of imagination and the delight of recognition is their only focus.
This safe space comes with breathing naturally and allowing ones body to be as relaxed as possible. You may then focus on a place in your body that is in pain, and then find a place that is not in pain; go back and forth between the two areas. If a lot of your body is in pain, pick two distinct areas to observe and go back and forth between them. This creates a neuromuscular nerve patterning that affects your brain and tends to decrease the pain. If the pain is emotional, then remember a moment that was not emotionally painful and go back and forth while feeling and forgetting with a comfortable pleasant memory.
If your having trouble relaxing, try Yoga, Tai Chi, Qigong, or get a hypnosis session with Barbie Flora (Bree Baker). You can also go to the Jemez Springs Bath House for a nice soak in the tub, or get a relaxing massage. Relaxation often occurs after soaking in a warm bath tub, after adding 2 cups of organic apple cider vinegar.
How does one find safe space after being hit by a car? First I did a lot of silent screaming and allowed myself to be surrounded by people who were capable of compassion. I listened inside myself and believed the soft determined voice I heard. This inner voice was with me in my dreams and was not embarrassed to ask for help.
Your inner voice, if listened too, does not criticize; it speaks simply, as in knowingness, and it is not bound with fear but knows Love. This inner voice will stand by you and believe in you regardless of all the panic around, and outside yourself.
Miracles in the Here and Now! - to be continued
Love and Light, Cosima
Cosima's story part 13
Jumping back but I'm calling it Story 13
This is after I went to mom's after the hospitals and the nursing home in April of 2009.
Gracia drove me up to Taos a few weeks ago and we picked up the bicycle, my helmet, one glove, and one shoe. I was disappointed that there was only one shoe. I had purchased a pair of shoes in Taos that were on sale along with a bright yellow green vest and a pair of black bicycle shorts that were much more comfortable then the ones I had been using. Tough stuff. The shoes flew off my feet and the rest the hospital must have cut off of me before surgery. I was hoping for 2 shoes at least since I finally had broken down after having sore feet and bought some good
shoes. Nothing like having dressed up for the event. No one could say I wasn't bright enough to be seen. Humor my friends, we need it for every turn of the corner.
The bicycle is bent pretty bad and the seat and handle bars are about the only thing to save. I didn't feel much by seeing it except wondering a little about how more of my body could have been broken and smashed and mangled.
I did want to celebrate by going for a apple turnover.
Sugar/apple comfort food speaks for itself. When in some distress it is back to endorphins for a quick release. Being aware of the distress on top of talking with the police officers who had been so kind and saved my bicycle for so long. It is silly but I really was hoping for both bicycle shoes. I dropped my bicycle off at Boe's the Bicycle Doc in Los Alamos and he was kind enough to take it apart and give me the handle bars and seat. Poor bicycle, I had it fixed up so it was a perfect fit for me and it had been so much fun to ride.
Actually all I remember about the accident was having had a wonderful time with so many wonderful bicycle people. They will always be dear to my heart. It is a good thing to remember the wonderful vacation and great places and time I had with these people and Taos. It was my first big trip anywhere since the accident. It helped being apart of a place again where I had had an adventure.
It also helped the feeling of a time gap. It was like making a patch work quilt. I now felt connected again with the place and space where I left one reality and moved to a different reality. I was healing very quickly - so quickly family and friends could hardly believe it. But I am like a different person now it is not just the titanium inserts. I may never be able to be the same active person I was before. Yes with years of effort I will be able to do some of the same things. But all of my spiritual work before this accident event was put to the maximum test. You can't lay in a hospital bed and wake up to find your whole life has changed and not have to use every speck of spiritual practice you have ever learned.
In Spiritual practice one thinks one understands gratitude. One can talk about gratitude but it is not the same as being so filled with Light that being alive at all is miracle and gratitude is the only word that can be spoken or heard.
To be continued . . .
This is after I went to mom's after the hospitals and the nursing home in April of 2009.
Gracia drove me up to Taos a few weeks ago and we picked up the bicycle, my helmet, one glove, and one shoe. I was disappointed that there was only one shoe. I had purchased a pair of shoes in Taos that were on sale along with a bright yellow green vest and a pair of black bicycle shorts that were much more comfortable then the ones I had been using. Tough stuff. The shoes flew off my feet and the rest the hospital must have cut off of me before surgery. I was hoping for 2 shoes at least since I finally had broken down after having sore feet and bought some good
shoes. Nothing like having dressed up for the event. No one could say I wasn't bright enough to be seen. Humor my friends, we need it for every turn of the corner.
The bicycle is bent pretty bad and the seat and handle bars are about the only thing to save. I didn't feel much by seeing it except wondering a little about how more of my body could have been broken and smashed and mangled.
I did want to celebrate by going for a apple turnover.
Sugar/apple comfort food speaks for itself. When in some distress it is back to endorphins for a quick release. Being aware of the distress on top of talking with the police officers who had been so kind and saved my bicycle for so long. It is silly but I really was hoping for both bicycle shoes. I dropped my bicycle off at Boe's the Bicycle Doc in Los Alamos and he was kind enough to take it apart and give me the handle bars and seat. Poor bicycle, I had it fixed up so it was a perfect fit for me and it had been so much fun to ride.
Actually all I remember about the accident was having had a wonderful time with so many wonderful bicycle people. They will always be dear to my heart. It is a good thing to remember the wonderful vacation and great places and time I had with these people and Taos. It was my first big trip anywhere since the accident. It helped being apart of a place again where I had had an adventure.
It also helped the feeling of a time gap. It was like making a patch work quilt. I now felt connected again with the place and space where I left one reality and moved to a different reality. I was healing very quickly - so quickly family and friends could hardly believe it. But I am like a different person now it is not just the titanium inserts. I may never be able to be the same active person I was before. Yes with years of effort I will be able to do some of the same things. But all of my spiritual work before this accident event was put to the maximum test. You can't lay in a hospital bed and wake up to find your whole life has changed and not have to use every speck of spiritual practice you have ever learned.
In Spiritual practice one thinks one understands gratitude. One can talk about gratitude but it is not the same as being so filled with Light that being alive at all is miracle and gratitude is the only word that can be spoken or heard.
To be continued . . .
Cosima's story part 12
Cosima's Story Part 12
Dear Friends and Friends of the Mountaineer's,
Thank you so much for your support and assistance in my recovery from my accident last year. If you were to see me you would be very amazed at how far I have advanced since that serious event.
I have moved from a wheel chair, to a walker, to a cane, to even getting on my trail bike a couple of times. I'm now driving my car enough that I have been able to drive my Mom, as well as a friend of mine who went blind, to appointments in Albuquerque. I have also gone back to doing massage recently, and am working on 3 to 4 clients a day (once in awhile). I still need to have surgery in January to get one long piece of metal and five screws removed from my right arm to have better use of it, but I am thrilled to be back to working, even if it is sparingly.
Everyone has been so very supportive, but I would like to give a special thanks to Gracia Coffin for her Reiki treatments and Light Blessings.
I especially want to thank Annette Weyrauch and Mari Jorgensen at Physical Therapy Plus in Los Alamos for the months of intensive work that brought me back to living an almost normal life again.
I interviewed about five Physical Therapists in Los Alamos looking for someone who would do 'hands on' work. Considering that I had to get a ride from my mother's house (it was about an hour and a half drive one way), I really needed someone who would spend an a full hour's time physically shifting the positions that my body was in, not just putting me on machines. One reason that I moved to my Mom's is that she had a stationary bicycle, a walker, an arm machine, a large ball, and rubber band accessories.
I needed someone who would work into the tissue since my right arm and hand could barely be moved. I could have applied for a legal disability, but I really just wanted to go back to work.
Presently, I can squeeze my hand into a fist, and my elbow straightens out almost perfectly. I can reach over my head, I am gaining strength in my back, and I can now almost balance on my left leg.
Since Annette is a bicycle person herself she was able to relate particularly well to my athletic tendencies, and love of nature. This made our time together much more valuable.
I so much appreciate the constant motivation and effort that Annette and Mari gave me, and their sparks of variety and patient persistence that helped my body change. I feel so grateful for their professional knowledge and compassionate friendship. I know that I still have a ways to go with flexibility, but it feels like a miracle happening in the here and now!
Thank you all so much for your loving thoughts and support, and supporting Jan and my family who had to spend so much time and see me go through so much pain and effort to recover.
Love and Light
Cosima
Dear Friends and Friends of the Mountaineer's,
Thank you so much for your support and assistance in my recovery from my accident last year. If you were to see me you would be very amazed at how far I have advanced since that serious event.
I have moved from a wheel chair, to a walker, to a cane, to even getting on my trail bike a couple of times. I'm now driving my car enough that I have been able to drive my Mom, as well as a friend of mine who went blind, to appointments in Albuquerque. I have also gone back to doing massage recently, and am working on 3 to 4 clients a day (once in awhile). I still need to have surgery in January to get one long piece of metal and five screws removed from my right arm to have better use of it, but I am thrilled to be back to working, even if it is sparingly.
Everyone has been so very supportive, but I would like to give a special thanks to Gracia Coffin for her Reiki treatments and Light Blessings.
I especially want to thank Annette Weyrauch and Mari Jorgensen at Physical Therapy Plus in Los Alamos for the months of intensive work that brought me back to living an almost normal life again.
I interviewed about five Physical Therapists in Los Alamos looking for someone who would do 'hands on' work. Considering that I had to get a ride from my mother's house (it was about an hour and a half drive one way), I really needed someone who would spend an a full hour's time physically shifting the positions that my body was in, not just putting me on machines. One reason that I moved to my Mom's is that she had a stationary bicycle, a walker, an arm machine, a large ball, and rubber band accessories.
I needed someone who would work into the tissue since my right arm and hand could barely be moved. I could have applied for a legal disability, but I really just wanted to go back to work.
Presently, I can squeeze my hand into a fist, and my elbow straightens out almost perfectly. I can reach over my head, I am gaining strength in my back, and I can now almost balance on my left leg.
Since Annette is a bicycle person herself she was able to relate particularly well to my athletic tendencies, and love of nature. This made our time together much more valuable.
I so much appreciate the constant motivation and effort that Annette and Mari gave me, and their sparks of variety and patient persistence that helped my body change. I feel so grateful for their professional knowledge and compassionate friendship. I know that I still have a ways to go with flexibility, but it feels like a miracle happening in the here and now!
Thank you all so much for your loving thoughts and support, and supporting Jan and my family who had to spend so much time and see me go through so much pain and effort to recover.
Love and Light
Cosima
Cosima's story part 11
Cosima's Story Continued Part 11
I started going out to my new studio once a day and spending time painting. I painted on small card size sheets of paper and painted mainly animals. This was a great way to exercise my hands and sitting in a chair and walking out to the shop was a good effort. Making my bed and cooking everyday and exercising on the stationary bicycle and the walker helped out a lot. Jan brought down his stepper machine along with a big ball and stretchy bands. It was like having my own personal gym. I decided the physical therapy I was going to in Bernalillo was not helping my right arm and hand enough.
Sam came to visit and we went for a walk in Gilman canyon and saw fresh mountain lion tracks. Sam and I had a great time catching up and he could see that I was really improving fast. All that equipment and eating my own food made a lot of difference plus having such wonderful visits from my sons.
After Sam left I decided to have Jan take me to Los Alamos and interview all of the Physical Therapists in that area. I wanted to find one that would give me hands on work and who would continue the work like my occupational therapist Liz, who had had some special training, had done for me. Adam, who was also from the nursing home, had really trained me in what exercises I needed to do at home. Bernalillo had a great Physical Therapist but I really wanted more hands on work for the amount of time of driving back and forth. I decided on Physical Therapy Plus because Annette really seemed to know how to do hands on work and there were no machines. Besides Annette was President of the Tough Riders in the Los Alamos bicycle group and she could really relate to what kind of injury getting hit by a car on a bicycle would be like.
Jan and some of my friends helped out with giving me rides to Los Alamos for physical therapy. With Annette's work and encouragement I started practicing putting the key in the ignition and taking it out and stepping on the brake. In two weeks time I was driving the car around my mother's house. Even though it took 2 hands to turn the ignition on I was driving to the bank and post office and practicing with short drives.
Pretty soon I was driving myself to Los Alamos and a few wintry nights I stayed in Gracia's parents Condo in Los Alamos. Being able to drive myself was the most exhilarating feeling about being back to normal. The freedom of not having to depend on someone else to get you where you want to go is unexplainable. Even though the gratitude for having assistance is magical. Driving is so self empowering when you haven"t been able to drive in 8 months. Let's celebrate this empowerment with Joy.
Thanks be for all the prayers and glorious help I have had and the genetic inheritance of persistence from my parents.
To Be continued Story 12
Love and Light
Cosima
I started going out to my new studio once a day and spending time painting. I painted on small card size sheets of paper and painted mainly animals. This was a great way to exercise my hands and sitting in a chair and walking out to the shop was a good effort. Making my bed and cooking everyday and exercising on the stationary bicycle and the walker helped out a lot. Jan brought down his stepper machine along with a big ball and stretchy bands. It was like having my own personal gym. I decided the physical therapy I was going to in Bernalillo was not helping my right arm and hand enough.
Sam came to visit and we went for a walk in Gilman canyon and saw fresh mountain lion tracks. Sam and I had a great time catching up and he could see that I was really improving fast. All that equipment and eating my own food made a lot of difference plus having such wonderful visits from my sons.
After Sam left I decided to have Jan take me to Los Alamos and interview all of the Physical Therapists in that area. I wanted to find one that would give me hands on work and who would continue the work like my occupational therapist Liz, who had had some special training, had done for me. Adam, who was also from the nursing home, had really trained me in what exercises I needed to do at home. Bernalillo had a great Physical Therapist but I really wanted more hands on work for the amount of time of driving back and forth. I decided on Physical Therapy Plus because Annette really seemed to know how to do hands on work and there were no machines. Besides Annette was President of the Tough Riders in the Los Alamos bicycle group and she could really relate to what kind of injury getting hit by a car on a bicycle would be like.
Jan and some of my friends helped out with giving me rides to Los Alamos for physical therapy. With Annette's work and encouragement I started practicing putting the key in the ignition and taking it out and stepping on the brake. In two weeks time I was driving the car around my mother's house. Even though it took 2 hands to turn the ignition on I was driving to the bank and post office and practicing with short drives.
Pretty soon I was driving myself to Los Alamos and a few wintry nights I stayed in Gracia's parents Condo in Los Alamos. Being able to drive myself was the most exhilarating feeling about being back to normal. The freedom of not having to depend on someone else to get you where you want to go is unexplainable. Even though the gratitude for having assistance is magical. Driving is so self empowering when you haven"t been able to drive in 8 months. Let's celebrate this empowerment with Joy.
Thanks be for all the prayers and glorious help I have had and the genetic inheritance of persistence from my parents.
To Be continued Story 12
Love and Light
Cosima
Cosima's story part 10
Mom's House in The Jemez
Waking up at Mom's house was like such a new life. We kept the Christmas decorations up way past New Years just to be festive and to celebrate my homecoming. Because of the off and on snow storms and all of the physical therapy equipment it would be a while before I would be able to move back to my home at the cabin above Fenton Lake in the Jemez. I still needed help doing things and it would be some time before I could drive again.
I so enjoyed making my own breakfast and eating my own whole oats and cutting up an apple was such a good work out some days I just had apple sauce and blue berries and 2 fried eggs or a almond butter sandwich.
Dr. Dan sent me this standard brand Phosfood liquid stuff that helped with the nausea and my Catalyin and Calcium levels. My Acupuncturist from Houston sent me organic liquid vitamins and got me to take Pro-biotics with yogurt type bacteria which really helped my intestinal tract.
Each day with the handful of vitamins I take 6-8 Spirilina, vitamin 400 E, B12 1,000, Vitamin D 2,000, Fish oil and Omega, Boneup 10 tablets, 10 drops of minerals, vitamin C 2,000,etc. It is hard not to be full from just taking all the vitamins and all the water to get them down.
After my shower, meditation, making my bed, and exercising on the machines sometimes I needed to rest.
After Christmas I started going to Physical Therapy in Bernalillo once or twice a week and I enjoyed that. Then I decided I needed more hands on work and started going to Annette at Physical Therapy Plus in Los Alamos.
Zach came to visit for several days and helped moved the stuff out of the gold building into Mom's big garage. The stuff he moved was very heavy - I don't know how he did it. I had helped him move it in there last year when we had set up stuff of my Dad's and Carl, my step Dad's, stuff to sell. Mom sold a lot but just the tables themselves were a 2 person carry job. Zach and I had a great time and his visit certainly helped me adjust to living out of the nursing home.
So he set up the gold building which I had worked very hard on before the accident. With Zach's help I had scrubbed all the oil off the floor since it was originally my Dad's junk and storage room full of odds and ends. My friend Bucky cut the metal that stuck out into the room off the walls. I patched and patched the cracks and we sealed up the old garage door and John helped me paint the outside and inside with spray paint. Bobby helped me seal the cracks around the sides and seal the floor. Jan helped me tape most of the doors shut. Its a good thing I had completed most of the projects at my Mom's and at my house before the accident. It is a strange thing how friends had commented about how I was racing around completing all of these tasks just like a little ant. Do we know subconsciously when we must get something done because we won't be able to do it later?
It is big enough big enough for art tables and a whole workshop. I had made curtains and so I moved my stuff in and what a wonderful studio it is. We had moved a big old pot belly wood stove in and it warmed up the place in no time at all.
I had wanted to complete this project before the accident and have another book signing for my teacher Michael Silver Dragon. As far as I know that had been my main motivation. Michael is a miracle walking around - he has been in dialysis for 13 years going to dialysis 2 times a week.
At first holding a paint brush to do watercolor was a big workout. I started with real small paintings and what fun it was to watch color happen. The hand work with brushes was a great workout and motivated me to look for someone to help me get my hands working again.
I had Zach take me for a ride up to my cabin. There was about 24 inches at the curb and he went through the snow to get some stuff out of the cabin for me. I sat in the car and looked longingly at the cabin and enjoyed the warm car. As much as I wanted to go in my body was not up to making it through the snow. It was certainly inspiring to see my home and what a lot of snow we had. It was so beautiful I just sat there and cried a bit.
Story to be continued Part 11
Waking up at Mom's house was like such a new life. We kept the Christmas decorations up way past New Years just to be festive and to celebrate my homecoming. Because of the off and on snow storms and all of the physical therapy equipment it would be a while before I would be able to move back to my home at the cabin above Fenton Lake in the Jemez. I still needed help doing things and it would be some time before I could drive again.
I so enjoyed making my own breakfast and eating my own whole oats and cutting up an apple was such a good work out some days I just had apple sauce and blue berries and 2 fried eggs or a almond butter sandwich.
Dr. Dan sent me this standard brand Phosfood liquid stuff that helped with the nausea and my Catalyin and Calcium levels. My Acupuncturist from Houston sent me organic liquid vitamins and got me to take Pro-biotics with yogurt type bacteria which really helped my intestinal tract.
Each day with the handful of vitamins I take 6-8 Spirilina, vitamin 400 E, B12 1,000, Vitamin D 2,000, Fish oil and Omega, Boneup 10 tablets, 10 drops of minerals, vitamin C 2,000,etc. It is hard not to be full from just taking all the vitamins and all the water to get them down.
After my shower, meditation, making my bed, and exercising on the machines sometimes I needed to rest.
After Christmas I started going to Physical Therapy in Bernalillo once or twice a week and I enjoyed that. Then I decided I needed more hands on work and started going to Annette at Physical Therapy Plus in Los Alamos.
Zach came to visit for several days and helped moved the stuff out of the gold building into Mom's big garage. The stuff he moved was very heavy - I don't know how he did it. I had helped him move it in there last year when we had set up stuff of my Dad's and Carl, my step Dad's, stuff to sell. Mom sold a lot but just the tables themselves were a 2 person carry job. Zach and I had a great time and his visit certainly helped me adjust to living out of the nursing home.
So he set up the gold building which I had worked very hard on before the accident. With Zach's help I had scrubbed all the oil off the floor since it was originally my Dad's junk and storage room full of odds and ends. My friend Bucky cut the metal that stuck out into the room off the walls. I patched and patched the cracks and we sealed up the old garage door and John helped me paint the outside and inside with spray paint. Bobby helped me seal the cracks around the sides and seal the floor. Jan helped me tape most of the doors shut. Its a good thing I had completed most of the projects at my Mom's and at my house before the accident. It is a strange thing how friends had commented about how I was racing around completing all of these tasks just like a little ant. Do we know subconsciously when we must get something done because we won't be able to do it later?
It is big enough big enough for art tables and a whole workshop. I had made curtains and so I moved my stuff in and what a wonderful studio it is. We had moved a big old pot belly wood stove in and it warmed up the place in no time at all.
I had wanted to complete this project before the accident and have another book signing for my teacher Michael Silver Dragon. As far as I know that had been my main motivation. Michael is a miracle walking around - he has been in dialysis for 13 years going to dialysis 2 times a week.
At first holding a paint brush to do watercolor was a big workout. I started with real small paintings and what fun it was to watch color happen. The hand work with brushes was a great workout and motivated me to look for someone to help me get my hands working again.
I had Zach take me for a ride up to my cabin. There was about 24 inches at the curb and he went through the snow to get some stuff out of the cabin for me. I sat in the car and looked longingly at the cabin and enjoyed the warm car. As much as I wanted to go in my body was not up to making it through the snow. It was certainly inspiring to see my home and what a lot of snow we had. It was so beautiful I just sat there and cried a bit.
Story to be continued Part 11
Cosima's story part 9
Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation Home
At this point in time for me allowing healing to occur is a conscious decision and it takes trust in ones inner voice and courage to stick with the plan no matter what other people are telling you. It is useful to listen to the advice and suggestions and then sort them out to hear and feel what resonates with your own stage and with the moment.
I asked a friend of mine to help me figure out about the drug I was taking at night which calmed down the restlessness and the shouting pains - nerve pains that would go down my legs at night. I had been asking the staff at the nursing home but I really wasn't getting any answers.
When one of my friends looked up the last drug I was still on which I took at night to help me relax and sleep we found out it was a derivative of Valium and very addictive. She and other people advised me to get off of it slowly. It was suggested to still take it every 3 days for 15 days to 30 days instead of going off it completely. But the side effects were the same either way and I was determined to get off the drug. Ten days of sickness (throwing up ten times a day and having diarrhea all morning and half of the night) was very difficult for everyone but well worth it in the long run). I started using homeopathic medicine that my acupuncturist suggested. It was different than passion flower and Valerian root which I had taken during menopause. It helped a lot but the side effects of getting off the drug really made keeping up with physical therapy and eating a big job.
They insisted on weighing me every other day which made the 96 lbs to 92 lbs scare everybody with the quick weight fluctuation. I was still taking vitamins and they must have absorbed quickly because I still had strength to go take showers and go to physical therapy.
I know my family and everyone thought I was crazy but seeing the clients around me that were still taking drugs just made me realize that I did not want to be on anything I did not know the long term side effects of.
Now I have learned that there were other kinds of treatments I could have gotten if I could have found someone who did lymph drainage to come to the nursing home. Lymph drainable is a massage technique which manually assists the lymph system to aid you in detoxifying which helps with swelling and muscle and nerve pain.
Attendants thought maybe I was bulimic and everyone thought I should go back on the drug. Oh well determination finally paid off. Ten days and it was pretty much over. I decided about then that I wanted to be home at Mom's for Christmas and that being able to fix my own food would help me be healthier.
I got to go to the movie Australia for my Birthday which motivated me to go home as well. I was walking even without a cane by December 13 and they were ready to have me leave but we talked them into letting me stay until December 22, 2008. My Physical Therapist, Adam, and my Occupational Therapist, Liz, had really helped me make incredible progress I wanted to work with them as long as possible. I could hold my fingers down on the right hand and the elbow and shoulder would move out a little bit. I could feed myself somewhat with my right hand and I could walk. Thanks to Liz and Adam for all their help. I limped some with the right leg but I was able to pack my stuff and get it ready for Jan to carry to the car and I walked out by my self. Yeah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was now ready for a physical therapist outside the nursing home.
What a big day Dec. 22 was for me. Saying good by to the wonderful staff at the nursing home, my cousin, and many friends who I had met there was hard but it was time to go to the next phase of my recovery. I said goodbye to the birds in the glass cage and the wonderful cottonwood trees in the back yard. It all took awhile but I was ready for the next adventure.
I had been practicing making my bed and I was ready to do my own cooking. So I had been making the transition to leave the nursing home and become more independent.
What a immense feeling of love, joy, and peace as we pulled into my Mom's drive way. She gave me her big room because the bathroom and shower were attached and she had a memory foam adjustable bed. It was hard at first to allow her to do that for me but my sacrum still hurt and I could barely turn over so I moved in. She also had a walker machine, a standing bicycle, some stretchy bands, a large ball, and a hand and arm table bike so I was all set up for home physical activity. Carl, my step dad, had bought a lot of useful equipment before he died. I never imagined that I would be the one to be using it. I am very grateful and it made a big difference in my continuing recovery program.
What a joy to wake up and look out her window and see the juniper tree, the Hermosa tree, and the iris that I had worked so hard to trim and hook up watering systems for.
Sunrise over the red rocks in the Jemez is such a beautiful spot to be in. We got out some Christmas decorations and got ready to celebrate a very important Christmas time together.
We had Christmas dinner at Linda and Michael's place in area 3 above Jemez Springs. It was not quite the same because Carl was with us last Christmas but it was so incredible to be home in Jemez for Christmas that only joy and Love could flow from our hearts.
To be continued . . .
At this point in time for me allowing healing to occur is a conscious decision and it takes trust in ones inner voice and courage to stick with the plan no matter what other people are telling you. It is useful to listen to the advice and suggestions and then sort them out to hear and feel what resonates with your own stage and with the moment.
I asked a friend of mine to help me figure out about the drug I was taking at night which calmed down the restlessness and the shouting pains - nerve pains that would go down my legs at night. I had been asking the staff at the nursing home but I really wasn't getting any answers.
When one of my friends looked up the last drug I was still on which I took at night to help me relax and sleep we found out it was a derivative of Valium and very addictive. She and other people advised me to get off of it slowly. It was suggested to still take it every 3 days for 15 days to 30 days instead of going off it completely. But the side effects were the same either way and I was determined to get off the drug. Ten days of sickness (throwing up ten times a day and having diarrhea all morning and half of the night) was very difficult for everyone but well worth it in the long run). I started using homeopathic medicine that my acupuncturist suggested. It was different than passion flower and Valerian root which I had taken during menopause. It helped a lot but the side effects of getting off the drug really made keeping up with physical therapy and eating a big job.
They insisted on weighing me every other day which made the 96 lbs to 92 lbs scare everybody with the quick weight fluctuation. I was still taking vitamins and they must have absorbed quickly because I still had strength to go take showers and go to physical therapy.
I know my family and everyone thought I was crazy but seeing the clients around me that were still taking drugs just made me realize that I did not want to be on anything I did not know the long term side effects of.
Now I have learned that there were other kinds of treatments I could have gotten if I could have found someone who did lymph drainage to come to the nursing home. Lymph drainable is a massage technique which manually assists the lymph system to aid you in detoxifying which helps with swelling and muscle and nerve pain.
Attendants thought maybe I was bulimic and everyone thought I should go back on the drug. Oh well determination finally paid off. Ten days and it was pretty much over. I decided about then that I wanted to be home at Mom's for Christmas and that being able to fix my own food would help me be healthier.
I got to go to the movie Australia for my Birthday which motivated me to go home as well. I was walking even without a cane by December 13 and they were ready to have me leave but we talked them into letting me stay until December 22, 2008. My Physical Therapist, Adam, and my Occupational Therapist, Liz, had really helped me make incredible progress I wanted to work with them as long as possible. I could hold my fingers down on the right hand and the elbow and shoulder would move out a little bit. I could feed myself somewhat with my right hand and I could walk. Thanks to Liz and Adam for all their help. I limped some with the right leg but I was able to pack my stuff and get it ready for Jan to carry to the car and I walked out by my self. Yeah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was now ready for a physical therapist outside the nursing home.
What a big day Dec. 22 was for me. Saying good by to the wonderful staff at the nursing home, my cousin, and many friends who I had met there was hard but it was time to go to the next phase of my recovery. I said goodbye to the birds in the glass cage and the wonderful cottonwood trees in the back yard. It all took awhile but I was ready for the next adventure.
I had been practicing making my bed and I was ready to do my own cooking. So I had been making the transition to leave the nursing home and become more independent.
What a immense feeling of love, joy, and peace as we pulled into my Mom's drive way. She gave me her big room because the bathroom and shower were attached and she had a memory foam adjustable bed. It was hard at first to allow her to do that for me but my sacrum still hurt and I could barely turn over so I moved in. She also had a walker machine, a standing bicycle, some stretchy bands, a large ball, and a hand and arm table bike so I was all set up for home physical activity. Carl, my step dad, had bought a lot of useful equipment before he died. I never imagined that I would be the one to be using it. I am very grateful and it made a big difference in my continuing recovery program.
What a joy to wake up and look out her window and see the juniper tree, the Hermosa tree, and the iris that I had worked so hard to trim and hook up watering systems for.
Sunrise over the red rocks in the Jemez is such a beautiful spot to be in. We got out some Christmas decorations and got ready to celebrate a very important Christmas time together.
We had Christmas dinner at Linda and Michael's place in area 3 above Jemez Springs. It was not quite the same because Carl was with us last Christmas but it was so incredible to be home in Jemez for Christmas that only joy and Love could flow from our hearts.
To be continued . . .
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