Cosima Story Continued story Part 6
At Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation home:
I had a visual and emotional release after Jan described the accident. I had woken up and was feeling pieces of the car body in my body so I had asked him to describe the accident for the first time. What the couple told him who witnessed the accident was that I hit the bumper, then the hood, then the windshield, and then ripped off the mirror before flying 80 feet through the air. My shoes popped off my feet and then I hit the ground.
The next morning I woke up and had this spontaneous urge to do some silent screaming and I cried for about 30 minutes. Oh whoa is me!!!!!!!!!
I also had some emotional releases from cell memory of the operation. These unexplained feelings would come off my body - feelings about not having choices about what my body was experiencing. I was wanting to say stop wait a minute what is this for?
The dreams I remember more clearly then I do the sequences of events after the accident. I remember only a few things about the accident. This makes this story telling a good practice. Most of the time I stay very much in the here and now because paying attention to what I am doing is necessary to keep from hurting more than I need to.
Staying here and now focusing on each moment as it happens releases me from going into comparisons. Staying here and now keeps me attentive to living an experiment to see what I am capable of doing next. I have a lot of memories but I don't really need them to be alive and happy and excited about each gain of strength and mobility. The past is important and useful but I'm not really the same outdoor physically strong person. Every move I make now requires effort and attention. I am so dependent on others which is a new experience for me. I feel so much gratitude to my family and friends for all of the hours of assistance.
I was not able to wheel myself around in the wheelchair for quite awhile because of my right arm and so I kept visualizing how to improve the wheelchair. When I got some use of my arm enough I started using my legs to walk the chair places - it was a great joy!!!!! I could get to physical therapy by myself and I could go see my cousin Doug in the cafeteria.
I especially liked the stationary bike and the dart board in the physical therapy room. Exercising was such a big part of the day that resting was necessary. Short naps and watching movies on my portable DVD player helped the time go by when pain was so intense.
My sons and Jan would also bring in their lap top computers to watch DVD's. My eyes would get tired quickly though and I decided to have my son make and appointment with my eye doctor.
I started enjoying reading and watching the DVD player much more after I got a new prescription. We went by van to check out my eyes. The Eye doctor was very close to the nursing home that I could have been wheeled there by wheelchair. I was very lucky because although my prescription changed there were no more tears in my retina. The glasses made a big difference. I kept being told that my prescription might change but I could tell I needed to be able to see better now since my vision was so poor and my eyes would tire so quickly. My vision with out glasses is about 2inches from my face.
Life at the Nursing and Rehabilitation home was good. I met many fine people who are residents and temporary residents and the staff is friendly and helpful.
Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To be continued Part 7
Cosima's story part 5
Cosima Say's story continued Part 5
Story continues from Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation home
Being off the food tube was a big adjustment. Food, which I had really been looking forward too, was not the same as it was before the accident. It was a mouthful to chew and swallow. It had different smells and tastes and my stomach did not always accept it. I had to measure constantly how much I could handle and experiment with the food the nursing home served. I have food allergies and was used to eating primarily vegetables, fish, chicken and certain fruits. My mind wanted fresh vegetables and raw smoothies but my stomach could only handle cooked food. I got very tired of mashed potatoes which my stomach could easily digest. I talked to the nutritionist and tried to figure out a list of things I could and could not eat. I was pretty young in comparison to most of the people at the nursing home and most people there didn't have the same diets I used to have.
The surprising thing that happened was I found out my cousin Doug was in the same nursing home - what a wonderful coincidence. Doug has MS and Jan and Nancy had no idea that he was there. He had been transferred to Rio Rancho from another nursing home. It was so enjoyable to get a chance to spend some time with him. Even though he was in another wing, I could sit in the cafeteria when I could handle the sound level and visit with him. Often I would go for a wheelchair ride and go spend a little time with him in the cafeteria and then go back to the room to eat.
I lucked out on my roommate. She was a very nice woman and she did not hear well so all the visitors I had did not bother her that much. We ended up looking out for each other as a slow friendship grew.
The attendants were mainly these 2 young nice girls who cared for me off and on until I left and went to Mom's. I really liked all of the nurses and attendants and staff at the nursing home. Even though a lot of them worked long hours everyone worked at having a really positive attitude. I even over heard a Doctor giving a attendant a lecture about her attitude so I assume it was a policy. It certainly helped my feeling of being safe and made it a much happier place to be..
I had some adjusting to do and I was still getting off drugs which I had made the decision to do earlier. I started taking one drug to help me relax and sleep. I did not know that it also would require a payment to get off of. The constant battle between constipation and diarrhea wasn't much fun.
I kept having episodes of emotional release from the trauma of the accident and the operation. The releases I was experiencing were not planned into the daily schedule.
The physical therapists, speech therapists, and occupational therapists were really on the ball at Rio Rancho nursing home. They started coming in to my room every morning after my arrival.
At first we did physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy in my room as I was extra sound sensitive and the therapy room was small with a lots of equipment, clients, and therapists around. I have always been a little sound sensitive but this was like 10 times increased since the accident. Everyone was very understanding about it and since I was the only one around at the time hit by a car while on a bicycle we really don't know why.
When I started wearing ear plugs and going to the therapy room when there was less people at first attendants had to lift me into the wheel chair. This was still a big process because of broken ribs and a broken sacrum. My back felt weak and my head felt smashed into my skull.
The physical therapy room was great with gym equipment and a standing bicycle to ride. The occupational therapist did some hands on work which made a huge difference in the use of my right arm. UNM hospital had changed the neck brace and then also the inflexible wrap around my hand and lower right arm to one that could be taken off to exercise my hand and arm.
I really lucked out with the therapists that I was assigned too. The physical therapist took me outside and rolled me up close to trees so I could hug them. You can not imagine how much I missed trees. I live in a 3 room cabin next to a stream under 90 ft ponderosa trees. I paint water color paintings of trees and nature in addition to being a massage therapist and Reiki teacher. Most of my life I have spent outside except when I am working on friends or clients. Spending so many months inside in hospitals was a real challenge. Of course I am very grateful but wow do I like being outside.
The occupational therapist had some hands on training and started getting some movement in my fingers which wouldn't bend and by elbow which would not go out straight. She was very encouraging and made a big difference.
The speech therapist gave me a lot of swallowing exercises and swabbed my mouth with liquids that seemed to increase my ability to swallow.
When the trachea was taken out at first I was able to sing better then I remember being able to sing. It was a short lived gift as my voice has gone back to having trouble staying on key.
When the physical therapists at Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation home wanted me to use a small board to get into the wheelchair I remember putting up my fingers in a cross and I said no way. This strong negative reaction about not wanting to get on the board I think must be a memory of the board from the helicopter flight.
It took some talking to myself pretty strongly to start experimenting with what I decided to call the "baby board". Putting this into perspective and acknowledging that my reluctance was probably from an unconscious memory of the helicopter ride (since I have no memory of the ride) I was able to begin to accept it. As soon as I got this acceptance project started, then I loved just being able to get on the "baby board" and get from one spot to another practically by myself. Using the "baby board" to get from the bed to the wheelchair and back was easier on my body then being picked up and lifted. It was a whole new adventure.
I was getting back to having some control over my life - Yeah! Beginnings of renewed hope began to blossom and bloom.
To be continued in Part 6
Love and Light
Cosima
Story continues from Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation home
Being off the food tube was a big adjustment. Food, which I had really been looking forward too, was not the same as it was before the accident. It was a mouthful to chew and swallow. It had different smells and tastes and my stomach did not always accept it. I had to measure constantly how much I could handle and experiment with the food the nursing home served. I have food allergies and was used to eating primarily vegetables, fish, chicken and certain fruits. My mind wanted fresh vegetables and raw smoothies but my stomach could only handle cooked food. I got very tired of mashed potatoes which my stomach could easily digest. I talked to the nutritionist and tried to figure out a list of things I could and could not eat. I was pretty young in comparison to most of the people at the nursing home and most people there didn't have the same diets I used to have.
The surprising thing that happened was I found out my cousin Doug was in the same nursing home - what a wonderful coincidence. Doug has MS and Jan and Nancy had no idea that he was there. He had been transferred to Rio Rancho from another nursing home. It was so enjoyable to get a chance to spend some time with him. Even though he was in another wing, I could sit in the cafeteria when I could handle the sound level and visit with him. Often I would go for a wheelchair ride and go spend a little time with him in the cafeteria and then go back to the room to eat.
I lucked out on my roommate. She was a very nice woman and she did not hear well so all the visitors I had did not bother her that much. We ended up looking out for each other as a slow friendship grew.
The attendants were mainly these 2 young nice girls who cared for me off and on until I left and went to Mom's. I really liked all of the nurses and attendants and staff at the nursing home. Even though a lot of them worked long hours everyone worked at having a really positive attitude. I even over heard a Doctor giving a attendant a lecture about her attitude so I assume it was a policy. It certainly helped my feeling of being safe and made it a much happier place to be..
I had some adjusting to do and I was still getting off drugs which I had made the decision to do earlier. I started taking one drug to help me relax and sleep. I did not know that it also would require a payment to get off of. The constant battle between constipation and diarrhea wasn't much fun.
I kept having episodes of emotional release from the trauma of the accident and the operation. The releases I was experiencing were not planned into the daily schedule.
The physical therapists, speech therapists, and occupational therapists were really on the ball at Rio Rancho nursing home. They started coming in to my room every morning after my arrival.
At first we did physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy in my room as I was extra sound sensitive and the therapy room was small with a lots of equipment, clients, and therapists around. I have always been a little sound sensitive but this was like 10 times increased since the accident. Everyone was very understanding about it and since I was the only one around at the time hit by a car while on a bicycle we really don't know why.
When I started wearing ear plugs and going to the therapy room when there was less people at first attendants had to lift me into the wheel chair. This was still a big process because of broken ribs and a broken sacrum. My back felt weak and my head felt smashed into my skull.
The physical therapy room was great with gym equipment and a standing bicycle to ride. The occupational therapist did some hands on work which made a huge difference in the use of my right arm. UNM hospital had changed the neck brace and then also the inflexible wrap around my hand and lower right arm to one that could be taken off to exercise my hand and arm.
I really lucked out with the therapists that I was assigned too. The physical therapist took me outside and rolled me up close to trees so I could hug them. You can not imagine how much I missed trees. I live in a 3 room cabin next to a stream under 90 ft ponderosa trees. I paint water color paintings of trees and nature in addition to being a massage therapist and Reiki teacher. Most of my life I have spent outside except when I am working on friends or clients. Spending so many months inside in hospitals was a real challenge. Of course I am very grateful but wow do I like being outside.
The occupational therapist had some hands on training and started getting some movement in my fingers which wouldn't bend and by elbow which would not go out straight. She was very encouraging and made a big difference.
The speech therapist gave me a lot of swallowing exercises and swabbed my mouth with liquids that seemed to increase my ability to swallow.
When the trachea was taken out at first I was able to sing better then I remember being able to sing. It was a short lived gift as my voice has gone back to having trouble staying on key.
When the physical therapists at Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation home wanted me to use a small board to get into the wheelchair I remember putting up my fingers in a cross and I said no way. This strong negative reaction about not wanting to get on the board I think must be a memory of the board from the helicopter flight.
It took some talking to myself pretty strongly to start experimenting with what I decided to call the "baby board". Putting this into perspective and acknowledging that my reluctance was probably from an unconscious memory of the helicopter ride (since I have no memory of the ride) I was able to begin to accept it. As soon as I got this acceptance project started, then I loved just being able to get on the "baby board" and get from one spot to another practically by myself. Using the "baby board" to get from the bed to the wheelchair and back was easier on my body then being picked up and lifted. It was a whole new adventure.
I was getting back to having some control over my life - Yeah! Beginnings of renewed hope began to blossom and bloom.
To be continued in Part 6
Love and Light
Cosima
Cosima's story part 4
In one of those dreams I remember deciding to LIVE. I remember why I decided to LIVE and having a Rational thought process about why. The choice was made while I was in UNM Hospital in a dream state, but I remembered while I was in Kindred Hospital. It was not too much after I woke up one morning and I WAS SO GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE.
Sam and Zach, my sons, needed to catch up on some of the work they had been missing. Sam's wife Kayla had her Mom Nancy fly in from Washington state to help out my Mom with taking turns at the Hospital.
I remember someone asking me if I remembered choosing to live and when I said yes inside myself I heard the reason why. I was not worried about my sons because they both had good lives and women who would help them make it through life. But my Mom had just had 2 husbands die. She was married to my dad for almost 60 years and then married my dad's brother. He was going on 90 and had taken care of his wife for 8 years before she died and my mom had been taking care of my dad for 4 years before he died. They both had a lot in common such as loving music and the same last name. He died last year and we still miss him. My mom is 83 and 2 deaths in a 3 year period is hard enough to take much less your 60 year old daughter. So, I decided on some dream intervention level to stay in this body. I did not know of course how much pain and how much work it would be to be able to walk and use my right arm again. I did know though that I would have a lot of help both on this plane and from a lot of light beings not so visible. Also I knew then that when I was able to return home I would be living with my mom off and on for quite awhile.
Nancy, Kayla's mom, was a great help and I had my first gentle massage on legs and feet. She is a nurse and it was my mom's first time to meet her. They get along great, she is a very sweet lady. The 3 of us had a fine time and I am very grateful. She also went with Jan to pick out a nursing home. After passing the swallow test I was ok to move on for rehabilitation in a nursing home since I needed less care.
After Nancy left Angele started visiting me rubbing my feet with rescue remedy. That also helped immensely.
When my son Zach returned he gave me a nice massage. I think moving around in the bed and gentle massages where one reason I did not get bed sores.
Sam does Reiki and when he came he told me about doing Reiki on me at UNM hospital and how Kayla his wife started experiencing the energy coming off of me. I had Sam work on my right leg, which at the time was spasming and the two toes next to the big toe would curl up and cross over each other. There was still a lot of pain and Sam would end up with very hot hands and need to shake of the intensity of the pain. I could only handle short treatments and soft touching.
When Jan worked on me he couldn't believe how I would jump from being touched. There is nothing like having so many people around me trained in Reiki to make a difference in recovering from a major accident. I am a certified Reiki Teacher and have over 50 students. I never thought I would be needing treatments the way I need them now.
The big move to Rio Ranch Nursing and Rehabilitation Home was by Ambulance as I was still wheelchair bound. It was a exciting day to leave a hospital environment and go to a Nursing home. They had a piano in the entrance room plus a glass bird cage with lots of singing birds. Outside there were big trees and 4 little gazebos and places to sit along a concrete walk way.
Not long before I left Kindred, they had put in a trachea which I could touch on the outside and speak. The whole family was thrilled because writing notes and making sign language to get my messages across was difficult. My voice sounded strange after so many weeks of not being able to speak.
Saying good by to the staff at Kindred took awhile and with having so many cards and so many visitors and constant attention from family and friends.
I felt like a celebrity leaving a familiar place. I was a little sad to be leaving friends at the hospital but so happy to be moving on to the next adventure.
Love and Light Cosima
Story to be continued . . .
Sam and Zach, my sons, needed to catch up on some of the work they had been missing. Sam's wife Kayla had her Mom Nancy fly in from Washington state to help out my Mom with taking turns at the Hospital.
I remember someone asking me if I remembered choosing to live and when I said yes inside myself I heard the reason why. I was not worried about my sons because they both had good lives and women who would help them make it through life. But my Mom had just had 2 husbands die. She was married to my dad for almost 60 years and then married my dad's brother. He was going on 90 and had taken care of his wife for 8 years before she died and my mom had been taking care of my dad for 4 years before he died. They both had a lot in common such as loving music and the same last name. He died last year and we still miss him. My mom is 83 and 2 deaths in a 3 year period is hard enough to take much less your 60 year old daughter. So, I decided on some dream intervention level to stay in this body. I did not know of course how much pain and how much work it would be to be able to walk and use my right arm again. I did know though that I would have a lot of help both on this plane and from a lot of light beings not so visible. Also I knew then that when I was able to return home I would be living with my mom off and on for quite awhile.
Nancy, Kayla's mom, was a great help and I had my first gentle massage on legs and feet. She is a nurse and it was my mom's first time to meet her. They get along great, she is a very sweet lady. The 3 of us had a fine time and I am very grateful. She also went with Jan to pick out a nursing home. After passing the swallow test I was ok to move on for rehabilitation in a nursing home since I needed less care.
After Nancy left Angele started visiting me rubbing my feet with rescue remedy. That also helped immensely.
When my son Zach returned he gave me a nice massage. I think moving around in the bed and gentle massages where one reason I did not get bed sores.
Sam does Reiki and when he came he told me about doing Reiki on me at UNM hospital and how Kayla his wife started experiencing the energy coming off of me. I had Sam work on my right leg, which at the time was spasming and the two toes next to the big toe would curl up and cross over each other. There was still a lot of pain and Sam would end up with very hot hands and need to shake of the intensity of the pain. I could only handle short treatments and soft touching.
When Jan worked on me he couldn't believe how I would jump from being touched. There is nothing like having so many people around me trained in Reiki to make a difference in recovering from a major accident. I am a certified Reiki Teacher and have over 50 students. I never thought I would be needing treatments the way I need them now.
The big move to Rio Ranch Nursing and Rehabilitation Home was by Ambulance as I was still wheelchair bound. It was a exciting day to leave a hospital environment and go to a Nursing home. They had a piano in the entrance room plus a glass bird cage with lots of singing birds. Outside there were big trees and 4 little gazebos and places to sit along a concrete walk way.
Not long before I left Kindred, they had put in a trachea which I could touch on the outside and speak. The whole family was thrilled because writing notes and making sign language to get my messages across was difficult. My voice sounded strange after so many weeks of not being able to speak.
Saying good by to the staff at Kindred took awhile and with having so many cards and so many visitors and constant attention from family and friends.
I felt like a celebrity leaving a familiar place. I was a little sad to be leaving friends at the hospital but so happy to be moving on to the next adventure.
Love and Light Cosima
Story to be continued . . .
Cosima's story part 3
Dear friends
You know that if you are looking for a miracle, you can count on my still being alive as one of those unexplained miracles. THERE IS NO LOGICAL REASON FOR ME TO STILL BE ALIVE. If you saw the bicycle and you understood WHAT A FREAKY ACCIDENT IT WAS, you would be asking yourself a lot of unexplainable questions.
Still at Kindred Hospital:
The family whose son and daughter were part of the accident came to visit me at Kindred hospital and have continued to visit. They are a very nice family. The son and daughter read me a letter that they wrote telling me how sorry they were. The family has undergone counseling because of this event. The father and son have come and helped out by things outside, like cutting wood and raking pine needles at my cabin, which I cannot do right now.
FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY TO HAPPINESS as it says in "The Course in Miracles".
I wasn't thinking of the course I had studied. Most of my response was triggered from my heart and a dream I had had. The dream was as real to me as life. It was about a school teaching children a new respect for themselves. The school was a secret school and was hidden from the world which was not in favor of children learning who they really are. The time period appeared to be in the 1800's because of the dress code. A friend of mine was the main teacher. Women or young girls out in the real world apart from this school particularly were not allowed to be learning the trades that were taught at this school. She helped me to understand that children can be damaged permanently if they feel really guilty about something that they have done. Sometimes the damage affects the way they relate to others for the rest of their life so much that when they have children they pass that same pattern on.
This dream triggered in me a need to completely forgive the son and daughter responsible for this accident. No matter what anyone said to me about what I should do I knew with all of my beingness that I must take my own guidance on this event.
I have explained to quite a few friends that acknowledging what has happened and letting go of it by silent screaming for the pain or just remembering, forgiving and letting go are the important factors in helping the body and mind to heal. How much does someone need to pay for mistakes? Can you really get anything out of revenge? Isn't the world in a state of delusion about an eye for and eye? Really who pays the most for holding a grudge?
Have you viewed the TV program " Joan of Arcadia". This young teenage girl gets visits from God. In this program God visits her with a changing Image such as the garbage man or the teacher or a little girl in the park. God is always asking Joan to do some task like join the chess club or be someones friend. It is after a lot of incidental things happen that sometimes she begins to understand how this project she has been given helps someone. Sometimes God has to spell it out more clearly by showing her what would have happened if she had not made friends with someone. Often she gets in trouble with her family or friends because they do not understand why she is doing so many odd things. She has learned that she can't tell anyone that God talks to her because they will think she needs counseling.
In this dimension though, I remember very strongly saying to my friend Angele who was in my dream, this was before my accident. I was quite adamant about how abuse needed to stop happening on this planet, YOU may think that is fairly precocious of me.
I learned in the hospital because of my judgment about abuse, and some of my pain level, that if I could totally appreciate each attendant or nurse and cleaning person, I could have compassion and help them feel good about themselves. If I chose to ignore how they were feeling they might continue to have a bad hair day!!!.. On those days I would suffer because their mood was distracting them from being careful. If I didn't help them shift their mood, sometimes it was a painful bath in the bed, or they lifted me a little to high and plopped me down a little to hard, etc. If I acknowledged that I recognized something was going on with them and then thanked them for how much care they were giving me, they started being more aware of how they handled me.
I did get to meet one of the nurses who worked so diligently on my scars on my face at UNM Hospital. It was a brief connection and again she helped me through some pain as it was an early morning ambulance ride from Kindred Hospital for a appointment at UNM Hospital. I was hurting a lot and she did some energy work that helped. Thanks to her I don't have much visible scar tissue on my forehead.
Among things I began to realize is that I was healing quickly. I had more energy than most patients, but I did not sleep well. At first I thought it was the bed and the constant sound and activity that I was not use to. But, then I also realized that all my wonderful friends must be working on me and sending me energy. It was a powerful realization 'of being so loved' people were sending me round the clock all this energy.
The staff helped me realize that I needed sleep to help the healing also. My Friend Dr. Dan who had been calling me and doing distance treatments: He calls them "The Equations of Life " suggested ear plugs and an Ipod of music which really helped along with his incredible treatments. So many friends came in and gave me Reiki treatments both at UNM Hospital and at Kindred. I was so drugged and in a dream world from all the surgeries I didn't remember half of the wonderful friends who came to my bedside and did all this incredible energy work on me. But the dreams I had were so real I can still relate most of the contents in vivid living color.
Finally I decided to request that energy work be backed off a little. After getting more sleep and 'One Equation of Life treatment' I woke up one morning feeling totally grateful for being alive.
It was a total feeling and though I still had a lot of pain It was like jumping through some major hoop. I had come along way Baby!!!!!!!!. From not understanding that I was non weight bearing and tied to some bed post to feeling "Totally grateful for Being Alive".
Story to be continued
cosima's story part 2
Part 2 Cosima's story-continued
Please don't get me wrong about Western Medicine. I am very grateful for the incredible surgeries on my legs and arm and hip. Without surgery and the efficient care I got from the medical staff at UNM hospital I am certain I would not be walking or alive.
At Kindred Hospital being lifted into a wheel chair was a big deal. I really enjoyed being wheeled around and getting to go outside on nice days. Jan and Mom took turns and Sam and Zach would fly in every other week. I had such tremendous wheel chair rides and such awesome support. Also the number of friends visiting me and the number of cards was overwhelming. What an incredible amount of love was poured my way. How can I possibly explain the gratitude and love that I feel in my heart for everyone's support.
The cleaning staff were glad for me to leave the room and go for rides in the wheel chair, because cleaning products have such a strong smell I would often feel sick for hours if they mopped while I was in the room.
When I heard I might get off the food tube at Kindred hospital by taking the swallow test I started to crave chocolate. But, having given up chocolate, except in very small amounts, I knew that this craving was also just part of the old sugar habit of wanting comfort. The swallow test was no easy process, especially having food allergies. Even, the smell of food was not that easy. First time a round I did not pass.
They pull the tubes so you can take the test and then put them back in if you do not pass the test. They watch you swallow with a machine. The reason for caution has to do with getting bacteria into your lungs and getting pneumonia. My nostrils are not large enough for tubes. I must have been on some pretty heavy drugs the first time they put them in. Without Zach holding my hand and Gracia talking me though it over the phone, I would never have been able to do it due to the pain level. On top of that it did not get positioned correctly and had to be done again.
Since I was not considered weight bearing on my legs and one arm I often had to call the staff into move me up in bed. I needed the head of the bed raised because of the trachea and food tube. Broken ribs, smashed organs, and tubes all added to the feeling of needing to move up toward the head of the bed. I learned I could bend my knees and hoist up toward the head of the bed even with just one arm. Maybe I became stronger because of experimenting with this technique instead of calling for help all the time.
The more conscious I became the more I realized that the air bed I had must have something wrong with it. The fact that my sacrum was broken did not make even sleeping on my side comfortable. One day after insisting that something must be wrong with the bed they actually had an inspection and found out it was broken.
The fact that I had so many visitors and so many cards I think is one of the reasons they finally listened to me about the bed. There are so many emergencies day and night it is difficult to keep a constant positive attitude about patients, I am very grateful for the hospitals staffs compassion.
The arrival of a new air mattress was very exciting and the bed made a big difference.
Thanks again for listening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love and Light Cosima
Story to be continued next week.
in her own words
We have a welcome change in format. Instead of hearing things from an outside perspective I am going to post what Cosima sends me. She has asked that I edit as I see fit since it is hard for her to spend very long looking at a computer screen but I will do very minimal editing - just very basic items. So without further ado here is Cosima herself:
Cosima says: story (part 1)
I am glad to be alive!!!!!!!!!! Getting mobility back has been a challenge but, I have a lot of self discipline from years of yoga, Qigong and spiritual study.
I really don't remember much about the accident. I was ridding along enjoying the scenery and having a great time. I do remember hearing Gracia scream out. I do remember someone telling me that it would be better for my legs to be down hill and I remember somehow lifting them and changing their direction. I also remember having put my tongue to the roof of my mouth and breathing up the center of the spinal column (the cosmic orbit). I think that must have been when the car hit me. I think that is one reason that I am still alive. Connecting with vital life force by doing the cosmic orbit keys one into the 'Tao' or a place of 'Being'. Another reason that I still must be alive is having such loving attention from my family and friends - it made such a difference.
On ambulance rides from Kindred hospital to UNM Hospital for appointments I met a couple of the ambulance drivers who actually were with me on either the arrival of the helicopter or the actual helicopter ride. Anyway they remembered the event and it was nice to get to meet them and thank them consciously.
The difficult part about hospitals is that so much is going on all the time. So many people and then you spend a lot of time by yourself. Being around so many people on a bicycle trip and then lots of people in a hospital it really adds up to a lot of sound and light. I noticed being hypertensive. Some times behind the curtain right next to you there are emergency situations at anytime of the day or night. I could definitely do without food tubes for the rest of my life.
For sometime I could not place in my mind what my sons and Jan were trying to tell me. I could not understand why they would not let me get up to go to the restroom. I was disoriented in time and place and did not see how there had been time for an accident. I kept thinking I was in Seattle because of hearing my daughter in law's voice and having dreams about Seattle.
The day that I remember trying to get out of bed and after ending up sitting on the floor without being able to use my legs I decided to get off of morphine and oxymax. They tied me up at night with my already immobile arm which made sleeping even more difficult. Refusing pain medication and trying to convince the hospital staff that 2 times of trying to get out of bed were enough took some talking. I clearly realized that the strength had gone from my legs and that I had been in an accident or something.
I did not like being tied up. Getting off of drugs was a teeter-totter experience between nausea, diarrhea and constipation. The wheat and sugar and drugs from food tubes and the trachea tube etc were motivating me to want to get up and get out of there. The amount of patience that I began to consciously practice was core issue spiritual work.
Once I began to understand that I did not have to do everything they expected me to do was a true day of taking charge of my healing.
By listening internally I began to make choices that made my healing faster.
Story to be continued next week . . .
pics of Cosima
Cosima & Sam hiking together
Cosima in her art studio at Thelma's
Cosima hikingThought everyone would enjoy some pictures of Cosima Sam took while he was down there visiting. Good to see her getting back to doing some of the things she loves including hiking. Her art studio is set up for her to do some painting and hopefully even host an art show sometime so stay tuned.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
