We have a welcome change in format. Instead of hearing things from an outside perspective I am going to post what Cosima sends me. She has asked that I edit as I see fit since it is hard for her to spend very long looking at a computer screen but I will do very minimal editing - just very basic items. So without further ado here is Cosima herself:
Cosima says: story (part 1)
I am glad to be alive!!!!!!!!!! Getting mobility back has been a challenge but, I have a lot of self discipline from years of yoga, Qigong and spiritual study.
I really don't remember much about the accident. I was ridding along enjoying the scenery and having a great time. I do remember hearing Gracia scream out. I do remember someone telling me that it would be better for my legs to be down hill and I remember somehow lifting them and changing their direction. I also remember having put my tongue to the roof of my mouth and breathing up the center of the spinal column (the cosmic orbit). I think that must have been when the car hit me. I think that is one reason that I am still alive. Connecting with vital life force by doing the cosmic orbit keys one into the 'Tao' or a place of 'Being'. Another reason that I still must be alive is having such loving attention from my family and friends - it made such a difference.
On ambulance rides from Kindred hospital to UNM Hospital for appointments I met a couple of the ambulance drivers who actually were with me on either the arrival of the helicopter or the actual helicopter ride. Anyway they remembered the event and it was nice to get to meet them and thank them consciously.
The difficult part about hospitals is that so much is going on all the time. So many people and then you spend a lot of time by yourself. Being around so many people on a bicycle trip and then lots of people in a hospital it really adds up to a lot of sound and light. I noticed being hypertensive. Some times behind the curtain right next to you there are emergency situations at anytime of the day or night. I could definitely do without food tubes for the rest of my life.
For sometime I could not place in my mind what my sons and Jan were trying to tell me. I could not understand why they would not let me get up to go to the restroom. I was disoriented in time and place and did not see how there had been time for an accident. I kept thinking I was in Seattle because of hearing my daughter in law's voice and having dreams about Seattle.
The day that I remember trying to get out of bed and after ending up sitting on the floor without being able to use my legs I decided to get off of morphine and oxymax. They tied me up at night with my already immobile arm which made sleeping even more difficult. Refusing pain medication and trying to convince the hospital staff that 2 times of trying to get out of bed were enough took some talking. I clearly realized that the strength had gone from my legs and that I had been in an accident or something.
I did not like being tied up. Getting off of drugs was a teeter-totter experience between nausea, diarrhea and constipation. The wheat and sugar and drugs from food tubes and the trachea tube etc were motivating me to want to get up and get out of there. The amount of patience that I began to consciously practice was core issue spiritual work.
Once I began to understand that I did not have to do everything they expected me to do was a true day of taking charge of my healing.
By listening internally I began to make choices that made my healing faster.
Story to be continued next week . . .
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