Cosima Story Continued story Part 6
At Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation home:
I had a visual and emotional release after Jan described the accident. I had woken up and was feeling pieces of the car body in my body so I had asked him to describe the accident for the first time. What the couple told him who witnessed the accident was that I hit the bumper, then the hood, then the windshield, and then ripped off the mirror before flying 80 feet through the air. My shoes popped off my feet and then I hit the ground.
The next morning I woke up and had this spontaneous urge to do some silent screaming and I cried for about 30 minutes. Oh whoa is me!!!!!!!!!
I also had some emotional releases from cell memory of the operation. These unexplained feelings would come off my body - feelings about not having choices about what my body was experiencing. I was wanting to say stop wait a minute what is this for?
The dreams I remember more clearly then I do the sequences of events after the accident. I remember only a few things about the accident. This makes this story telling a good practice. Most of the time I stay very much in the here and now because paying attention to what I am doing is necessary to keep from hurting more than I need to.
Staying here and now focusing on each moment as it happens releases me from going into comparisons. Staying here and now keeps me attentive to living an experiment to see what I am capable of doing next. I have a lot of memories but I don't really need them to be alive and happy and excited about each gain of strength and mobility. The past is important and useful but I'm not really the same outdoor physically strong person. Every move I make now requires effort and attention. I am so dependent on others which is a new experience for me. I feel so much gratitude to my family and friends for all of the hours of assistance.
I was not able to wheel myself around in the wheelchair for quite awhile because of my right arm and so I kept visualizing how to improve the wheelchair. When I got some use of my arm enough I started using my legs to walk the chair places - it was a great joy!!!!! I could get to physical therapy by myself and I could go see my cousin Doug in the cafeteria.
I especially liked the stationary bike and the dart board in the physical therapy room. Exercising was such a big part of the day that resting was necessary. Short naps and watching movies on my portable DVD player helped the time go by when pain was so intense.
My sons and Jan would also bring in their lap top computers to watch DVD's. My eyes would get tired quickly though and I decided to have my son make and appointment with my eye doctor.
I started enjoying reading and watching the DVD player much more after I got a new prescription. We went by van to check out my eyes. The Eye doctor was very close to the nursing home that I could have been wheeled there by wheelchair. I was very lucky because although my prescription changed there were no more tears in my retina. The glasses made a big difference. I kept being told that my prescription might change but I could tell I needed to be able to see better now since my vision was so poor and my eyes would tire so quickly. My vision with out glasses is about 2inches from my face.
Life at the Nursing and Rehabilitation home was good. I met many fine people who are residents and temporary residents and the staff is friendly and helpful.
Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To be continued Part 7
Cosima's story part 5
Cosima Say's story continued Part 5
Story continues from Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation home
Being off the food tube was a big adjustment. Food, which I had really been looking forward too, was not the same as it was before the accident. It was a mouthful to chew and swallow. It had different smells and tastes and my stomach did not always accept it. I had to measure constantly how much I could handle and experiment with the food the nursing home served. I have food allergies and was used to eating primarily vegetables, fish, chicken and certain fruits. My mind wanted fresh vegetables and raw smoothies but my stomach could only handle cooked food. I got very tired of mashed potatoes which my stomach could easily digest. I talked to the nutritionist and tried to figure out a list of things I could and could not eat. I was pretty young in comparison to most of the people at the nursing home and most people there didn't have the same diets I used to have.
The surprising thing that happened was I found out my cousin Doug was in the same nursing home - what a wonderful coincidence. Doug has MS and Jan and Nancy had no idea that he was there. He had been transferred to Rio Rancho from another nursing home. It was so enjoyable to get a chance to spend some time with him. Even though he was in another wing, I could sit in the cafeteria when I could handle the sound level and visit with him. Often I would go for a wheelchair ride and go spend a little time with him in the cafeteria and then go back to the room to eat.
I lucked out on my roommate. She was a very nice woman and she did not hear well so all the visitors I had did not bother her that much. We ended up looking out for each other as a slow friendship grew.
The attendants were mainly these 2 young nice girls who cared for me off and on until I left and went to Mom's. I really liked all of the nurses and attendants and staff at the nursing home. Even though a lot of them worked long hours everyone worked at having a really positive attitude. I even over heard a Doctor giving a attendant a lecture about her attitude so I assume it was a policy. It certainly helped my feeling of being safe and made it a much happier place to be..
I had some adjusting to do and I was still getting off drugs which I had made the decision to do earlier. I started taking one drug to help me relax and sleep. I did not know that it also would require a payment to get off of. The constant battle between constipation and diarrhea wasn't much fun.
I kept having episodes of emotional release from the trauma of the accident and the operation. The releases I was experiencing were not planned into the daily schedule.
The physical therapists, speech therapists, and occupational therapists were really on the ball at Rio Rancho nursing home. They started coming in to my room every morning after my arrival.
At first we did physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy in my room as I was extra sound sensitive and the therapy room was small with a lots of equipment, clients, and therapists around. I have always been a little sound sensitive but this was like 10 times increased since the accident. Everyone was very understanding about it and since I was the only one around at the time hit by a car while on a bicycle we really don't know why.
When I started wearing ear plugs and going to the therapy room when there was less people at first attendants had to lift me into the wheel chair. This was still a big process because of broken ribs and a broken sacrum. My back felt weak and my head felt smashed into my skull.
The physical therapy room was great with gym equipment and a standing bicycle to ride. The occupational therapist did some hands on work which made a huge difference in the use of my right arm. UNM hospital had changed the neck brace and then also the inflexible wrap around my hand and lower right arm to one that could be taken off to exercise my hand and arm.
I really lucked out with the therapists that I was assigned too. The physical therapist took me outside and rolled me up close to trees so I could hug them. You can not imagine how much I missed trees. I live in a 3 room cabin next to a stream under 90 ft ponderosa trees. I paint water color paintings of trees and nature in addition to being a massage therapist and Reiki teacher. Most of my life I have spent outside except when I am working on friends or clients. Spending so many months inside in hospitals was a real challenge. Of course I am very grateful but wow do I like being outside.
The occupational therapist had some hands on training and started getting some movement in my fingers which wouldn't bend and by elbow which would not go out straight. She was very encouraging and made a big difference.
The speech therapist gave me a lot of swallowing exercises and swabbed my mouth with liquids that seemed to increase my ability to swallow.
When the trachea was taken out at first I was able to sing better then I remember being able to sing. It was a short lived gift as my voice has gone back to having trouble staying on key.
When the physical therapists at Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation home wanted me to use a small board to get into the wheelchair I remember putting up my fingers in a cross and I said no way. This strong negative reaction about not wanting to get on the board I think must be a memory of the board from the helicopter flight.
It took some talking to myself pretty strongly to start experimenting with what I decided to call the "baby board". Putting this into perspective and acknowledging that my reluctance was probably from an unconscious memory of the helicopter ride (since I have no memory of the ride) I was able to begin to accept it. As soon as I got this acceptance project started, then I loved just being able to get on the "baby board" and get from one spot to another practically by myself. Using the "baby board" to get from the bed to the wheelchair and back was easier on my body then being picked up and lifted. It was a whole new adventure.
I was getting back to having some control over my life - Yeah! Beginnings of renewed hope began to blossom and bloom.
To be continued in Part 6
Love and Light
Cosima
Story continues from Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation home
Being off the food tube was a big adjustment. Food, which I had really been looking forward too, was not the same as it was before the accident. It was a mouthful to chew and swallow. It had different smells and tastes and my stomach did not always accept it. I had to measure constantly how much I could handle and experiment with the food the nursing home served. I have food allergies and was used to eating primarily vegetables, fish, chicken and certain fruits. My mind wanted fresh vegetables and raw smoothies but my stomach could only handle cooked food. I got very tired of mashed potatoes which my stomach could easily digest. I talked to the nutritionist and tried to figure out a list of things I could and could not eat. I was pretty young in comparison to most of the people at the nursing home and most people there didn't have the same diets I used to have.
The surprising thing that happened was I found out my cousin Doug was in the same nursing home - what a wonderful coincidence. Doug has MS and Jan and Nancy had no idea that he was there. He had been transferred to Rio Rancho from another nursing home. It was so enjoyable to get a chance to spend some time with him. Even though he was in another wing, I could sit in the cafeteria when I could handle the sound level and visit with him. Often I would go for a wheelchair ride and go spend a little time with him in the cafeteria and then go back to the room to eat.
I lucked out on my roommate. She was a very nice woman and she did not hear well so all the visitors I had did not bother her that much. We ended up looking out for each other as a slow friendship grew.
The attendants were mainly these 2 young nice girls who cared for me off and on until I left and went to Mom's. I really liked all of the nurses and attendants and staff at the nursing home. Even though a lot of them worked long hours everyone worked at having a really positive attitude. I even over heard a Doctor giving a attendant a lecture about her attitude so I assume it was a policy. It certainly helped my feeling of being safe and made it a much happier place to be..
I had some adjusting to do and I was still getting off drugs which I had made the decision to do earlier. I started taking one drug to help me relax and sleep. I did not know that it also would require a payment to get off of. The constant battle between constipation and diarrhea wasn't much fun.
I kept having episodes of emotional release from the trauma of the accident and the operation. The releases I was experiencing were not planned into the daily schedule.
The physical therapists, speech therapists, and occupational therapists were really on the ball at Rio Rancho nursing home. They started coming in to my room every morning after my arrival.
At first we did physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy in my room as I was extra sound sensitive and the therapy room was small with a lots of equipment, clients, and therapists around. I have always been a little sound sensitive but this was like 10 times increased since the accident. Everyone was very understanding about it and since I was the only one around at the time hit by a car while on a bicycle we really don't know why.
When I started wearing ear plugs and going to the therapy room when there was less people at first attendants had to lift me into the wheel chair. This was still a big process because of broken ribs and a broken sacrum. My back felt weak and my head felt smashed into my skull.
The physical therapy room was great with gym equipment and a standing bicycle to ride. The occupational therapist did some hands on work which made a huge difference in the use of my right arm. UNM hospital had changed the neck brace and then also the inflexible wrap around my hand and lower right arm to one that could be taken off to exercise my hand and arm.
I really lucked out with the therapists that I was assigned too. The physical therapist took me outside and rolled me up close to trees so I could hug them. You can not imagine how much I missed trees. I live in a 3 room cabin next to a stream under 90 ft ponderosa trees. I paint water color paintings of trees and nature in addition to being a massage therapist and Reiki teacher. Most of my life I have spent outside except when I am working on friends or clients. Spending so many months inside in hospitals was a real challenge. Of course I am very grateful but wow do I like being outside.
The occupational therapist had some hands on training and started getting some movement in my fingers which wouldn't bend and by elbow which would not go out straight. She was very encouraging and made a big difference.
The speech therapist gave me a lot of swallowing exercises and swabbed my mouth with liquids that seemed to increase my ability to swallow.
When the trachea was taken out at first I was able to sing better then I remember being able to sing. It was a short lived gift as my voice has gone back to having trouble staying on key.
When the physical therapists at Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation home wanted me to use a small board to get into the wheelchair I remember putting up my fingers in a cross and I said no way. This strong negative reaction about not wanting to get on the board I think must be a memory of the board from the helicopter flight.
It took some talking to myself pretty strongly to start experimenting with what I decided to call the "baby board". Putting this into perspective and acknowledging that my reluctance was probably from an unconscious memory of the helicopter ride (since I have no memory of the ride) I was able to begin to accept it. As soon as I got this acceptance project started, then I loved just being able to get on the "baby board" and get from one spot to another practically by myself. Using the "baby board" to get from the bed to the wheelchair and back was easier on my body then being picked up and lifted. It was a whole new adventure.
I was getting back to having some control over my life - Yeah! Beginnings of renewed hope began to blossom and bloom.
To be continued in Part 6
Love and Light
Cosima
Cosima's story part 4
In one of those dreams I remember deciding to LIVE. I remember why I decided to LIVE and having a Rational thought process about why. The choice was made while I was in UNM Hospital in a dream state, but I remembered while I was in Kindred Hospital. It was not too much after I woke up one morning and I WAS SO GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE.
Sam and Zach, my sons, needed to catch up on some of the work they had been missing. Sam's wife Kayla had her Mom Nancy fly in from Washington state to help out my Mom with taking turns at the Hospital.
I remember someone asking me if I remembered choosing to live and when I said yes inside myself I heard the reason why. I was not worried about my sons because they both had good lives and women who would help them make it through life. But my Mom had just had 2 husbands die. She was married to my dad for almost 60 years and then married my dad's brother. He was going on 90 and had taken care of his wife for 8 years before she died and my mom had been taking care of my dad for 4 years before he died. They both had a lot in common such as loving music and the same last name. He died last year and we still miss him. My mom is 83 and 2 deaths in a 3 year period is hard enough to take much less your 60 year old daughter. So, I decided on some dream intervention level to stay in this body. I did not know of course how much pain and how much work it would be to be able to walk and use my right arm again. I did know though that I would have a lot of help both on this plane and from a lot of light beings not so visible. Also I knew then that when I was able to return home I would be living with my mom off and on for quite awhile.
Nancy, Kayla's mom, was a great help and I had my first gentle massage on legs and feet. She is a nurse and it was my mom's first time to meet her. They get along great, she is a very sweet lady. The 3 of us had a fine time and I am very grateful. She also went with Jan to pick out a nursing home. After passing the swallow test I was ok to move on for rehabilitation in a nursing home since I needed less care.
After Nancy left Angele started visiting me rubbing my feet with rescue remedy. That also helped immensely.
When my son Zach returned he gave me a nice massage. I think moving around in the bed and gentle massages where one reason I did not get bed sores.
Sam does Reiki and when he came he told me about doing Reiki on me at UNM hospital and how Kayla his wife started experiencing the energy coming off of me. I had Sam work on my right leg, which at the time was spasming and the two toes next to the big toe would curl up and cross over each other. There was still a lot of pain and Sam would end up with very hot hands and need to shake of the intensity of the pain. I could only handle short treatments and soft touching.
When Jan worked on me he couldn't believe how I would jump from being touched. There is nothing like having so many people around me trained in Reiki to make a difference in recovering from a major accident. I am a certified Reiki Teacher and have over 50 students. I never thought I would be needing treatments the way I need them now.
The big move to Rio Ranch Nursing and Rehabilitation Home was by Ambulance as I was still wheelchair bound. It was a exciting day to leave a hospital environment and go to a Nursing home. They had a piano in the entrance room plus a glass bird cage with lots of singing birds. Outside there were big trees and 4 little gazebos and places to sit along a concrete walk way.
Not long before I left Kindred, they had put in a trachea which I could touch on the outside and speak. The whole family was thrilled because writing notes and making sign language to get my messages across was difficult. My voice sounded strange after so many weeks of not being able to speak.
Saying good by to the staff at Kindred took awhile and with having so many cards and so many visitors and constant attention from family and friends.
I felt like a celebrity leaving a familiar place. I was a little sad to be leaving friends at the hospital but so happy to be moving on to the next adventure.
Love and Light Cosima
Story to be continued . . .
Sam and Zach, my sons, needed to catch up on some of the work they had been missing. Sam's wife Kayla had her Mom Nancy fly in from Washington state to help out my Mom with taking turns at the Hospital.
I remember someone asking me if I remembered choosing to live and when I said yes inside myself I heard the reason why. I was not worried about my sons because they both had good lives and women who would help them make it through life. But my Mom had just had 2 husbands die. She was married to my dad for almost 60 years and then married my dad's brother. He was going on 90 and had taken care of his wife for 8 years before she died and my mom had been taking care of my dad for 4 years before he died. They both had a lot in common such as loving music and the same last name. He died last year and we still miss him. My mom is 83 and 2 deaths in a 3 year period is hard enough to take much less your 60 year old daughter. So, I decided on some dream intervention level to stay in this body. I did not know of course how much pain and how much work it would be to be able to walk and use my right arm again. I did know though that I would have a lot of help both on this plane and from a lot of light beings not so visible. Also I knew then that when I was able to return home I would be living with my mom off and on for quite awhile.
Nancy, Kayla's mom, was a great help and I had my first gentle massage on legs and feet. She is a nurse and it was my mom's first time to meet her. They get along great, she is a very sweet lady. The 3 of us had a fine time and I am very grateful. She also went with Jan to pick out a nursing home. After passing the swallow test I was ok to move on for rehabilitation in a nursing home since I needed less care.
After Nancy left Angele started visiting me rubbing my feet with rescue remedy. That also helped immensely.
When my son Zach returned he gave me a nice massage. I think moving around in the bed and gentle massages where one reason I did not get bed sores.
Sam does Reiki and when he came he told me about doing Reiki on me at UNM hospital and how Kayla his wife started experiencing the energy coming off of me. I had Sam work on my right leg, which at the time was spasming and the two toes next to the big toe would curl up and cross over each other. There was still a lot of pain and Sam would end up with very hot hands and need to shake of the intensity of the pain. I could only handle short treatments and soft touching.
When Jan worked on me he couldn't believe how I would jump from being touched. There is nothing like having so many people around me trained in Reiki to make a difference in recovering from a major accident. I am a certified Reiki Teacher and have over 50 students. I never thought I would be needing treatments the way I need them now.
The big move to Rio Ranch Nursing and Rehabilitation Home was by Ambulance as I was still wheelchair bound. It was a exciting day to leave a hospital environment and go to a Nursing home. They had a piano in the entrance room plus a glass bird cage with lots of singing birds. Outside there were big trees and 4 little gazebos and places to sit along a concrete walk way.
Not long before I left Kindred, they had put in a trachea which I could touch on the outside and speak. The whole family was thrilled because writing notes and making sign language to get my messages across was difficult. My voice sounded strange after so many weeks of not being able to speak.
Saying good by to the staff at Kindred took awhile and with having so many cards and so many visitors and constant attention from family and friends.
I felt like a celebrity leaving a familiar place. I was a little sad to be leaving friends at the hospital but so happy to be moving on to the next adventure.
Love and Light Cosima
Story to be continued . . .
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