Cosima's Recovery

new website address for watercolors

2010-05-13T21:57:00.000-07:00

Cosima now has a new link for her pictures. Please check it out - she has many beautiful watercolors. Prices are shown when you hold your cursor over the picture and come in a variety of sizes.

So please take a few minutes and check it out.

Cosima's Art Show

2010-02-26T07:23:00.000-08:00

This new Photo Gallery shows most of my Watercolor and Opaque Original Paintings that will be featured in a joint showing with my long time friend Shelley Quiner. The show will be held on February 26th, 27th, and 28th at Cosima's Studio at my mothers home. Unfortunately, Shelley's beautiful Hand Woven Tapestries were unavailable at the time these photos were taken.

Link: http://picasaweb.google.com/cosimapl/CosimaSArtShowFebruary26282010#

The vast majority of these paintings were done after my accident, so represent my primary recovery period quite well. I had been 'told' to expand my painting styles, and I think that if you are familiar with my art you will see that I did just that.

By the way, the "gold building" that will host our Showing was a very old and beat up metal building that my dad bought as salvage and planned to fix up; he never got to it. It became a major project for me to remodel the old building which leaked wind, rain, and sand horribly, and was full of very heavy junk that dad collected. It had no electricity, heat, or any other facilities. I added a portable outhouse, wood stove, and many other features. It became "Cosima's Studio", and the place I created many of the paintings from this photo gallery during my recovery at my mom's house.

Jemez Art Showing

2010-02-21T21:40:00.000-08:00

Jemez Art Showing
February 26, 27, and 28
Pat Cosima and Shelley Quiner will be having a 3 day opening of their art at 'Cosima's Studio', 134 Camino Azul, across from the school in Canon, in the gold building.

This showing includes sixty-two Watercolor and Opaque Original Paintings, and 14 to 19 Hand Woven Tapestries. It will be open to the public Friday 1-6 pm, Saturday 12-6 pm, and Sunday 1-6 pm. This may be a one time show..

If the snow gets deep, they will change their opening for later in the Spring. Please feel free to call (829-3940) or (829-3803) if you have any questions about the show

Miracles in the Here and Now - part 3

2010-01-14T22:51:00.000-08:00

Miracles in the Here and Now! - part 3

How to feel safe after getting hit by a car? Listen to your inner voice and follow the guidance carefully.

I did not pretend to feel safe. I talked about what issues were coming up for me and I let people know that I had to process the emotion and the pictures in order for my body to heal.

I told people I did not feel safe and when they wanted to wheel me someplace else I said no way not today. You want to do physical therapy with me do it in this room today.

When something was not comfortable for me I told people, I believed in my own ability to make the correct choices for myself at each changing moment. That way I created as much as possible what was safe for myself at that moment. I acknowledged when discernment didn't work and I made my next choices differently. Food and medicine were the fastest feed back loops.

Maybe you don't believe in Angels and Light Beings. Too Bad So Sad. I use to work with a woman in Houston that was always talking about angels; she had figurines on the walls and everywhere. I use to think she was crazy-NUTS.

Then, when I started doing more and more Reiki and Qi Tao Reiki and the room would fill up with Light beings, I began to understand. It completely depended on who I was working on at the time. Sometimes it would feel so crowed I would have to ask some of them to back off. I would say I'm glad you want to help, but it is so crowded in here I can hardly breathe. At first I thought I too was going crazy, but then the clients would also identify some of the light beings.

Some of by clearest images, understandings, and voices came after I studied American Indian Journey work with Berta Shineberry, as well as those gained from my long time mentor Michael Silver Dragon. Light beings don't care weather you are white, black, brown, pink, or purple, and they don"t care about your size, your sex, or your age. My visions, dreams and experiences in living breathing color occurred while drumming, while doing soul retrieval, and while assisting others with Reiki and Qi Tao Reiki. Jesus, Qian Yin , Buddha, a Mayan priest, an Indian Chief, and a Sufi teacher all showed up to encourage me to keep Loving human beings just for what they are.

After years of these and a lot of other weird experiences, I can tell you it doesn't matter what country or religion or belief system you come from, everyone has angels, spirit guides, and assistance if they are willing to be open to receiving it.

Your connection to God is personal and always needs to be respected. However, in the understanding of conscious spiritual evolution, everyone is equal and everyone deserves and is capable of receiving miracles.

One of my best friends, Jesus, told me so. And just like a child I can clearly say it works perfectly. The mind will get in the way when it focuses on negative attitudes. The minute I start doubting and listening to the world of criticism, anger, and resentment, THE MIRACLE that I was starting to experience disappears, and Fear and self doubt flood back in to smoother out my new possibility.

Every thought pattern that Begins with the belief in not getting better is based in confusion. It may be based on other peoples doubts or doctors negative attitudes. Yes of course, some people have already chosen to die. Some people do not have enough training to deal with the whole difficult scene.

This does not mean that you should not use the good old American medical profession, but please realize that they have been indoctrinated into chemical medicines at the huge hands of pharmaceutical companies and insurance companies in the interest of making a profit.

Personally, I can say without all of the help that I had, I doubt that I would have made it. In spite of many wonderful doctors, nurses, and attendants, I can say very clearly, it is a job I would prefer to not do again.

Think Love, Forgive yourself and others and be in the Light. Let the Love and Light be your Joy.

May Peace and Gratitude Surround you these Holidays.

Remember that Love, Light, and the Kingdom of Heaven is within You; simply care about yourself and others, as if they were your best friends.

Love and Light, Cosima

Miracles Here and Now - part 2

2010-01-02T20:46:00.000-08:00

Miracles Here and Now! - part 2

Miracles can happen in the here and now when you find that place inside yourself where everything is possible. This is a warm spot inside that is quiet, it is not bothered by voices of resistance or fear.

It is like reflecting out on glittering, swirling water but it has no image or color. Some people call it the Inner Flame or Light. It is your connection to Peace, Great Spirit, or to God.

It becomes clouded over easily with the noise of the world, but to find it again is now easier than it used to be. One does not have to sit in meditation for hours. One does not have to pray incessantly to invoke this presence. One thought will again open the door. Even after heavy night dreams or trauma's that continue to present themselves in this always critical everyday processing we call Life.

This one thought works for me: The Essence of Life Lives Within Me. I then I follow with this short prayer, generally in the morning; I say to myself:

Lord God of my Being, I surrender all of my problems to You.
I yield to Your Will in my Life.
I now take my step in trust.
Please show me the way.

or True Peace = Star: Surrender,Trust,Allow and Receive

One way to experiment with this process, if you choose: Think of a small child who is at play, watching the smile upon their face. The world of their play is an illusion but their fantasy is full of emotion and color. In that moment the grass which they are lying upon is green, the sky over there head is blue, and white puffy clouds form images that anyone in their right mind can see. The image is a changing kaleidoscope form of dragons and birds to angels and turtles. The child is delighted and has no judgment about the shape that they identify. There is no fear about being silly or judgmental about Reality. This is play, there is no failure or comparison. There is no competition, no one is there to tell this child that play is lazy. This is a safe place. The flower of imagination and the delight of recognition is their only focus.

This safe space comes with breathing naturally and allowing ones body to be as relaxed as possible. You may then focus on a place in your body that is in pain, and then find a place that is not in pain; go back and forth between the two areas. If a lot of your body is in pain, pick two distinct areas to observe and go back and forth between them. This creates a neuromuscular nerve patterning that affects your brain and tends to decrease the pain. If the pain is emotional, then remember a moment that was not emotionally painful and go back and forth while feeling and forgetting with a comfortable pleasant memory.

If your having trouble relaxing, try Yoga, Tai Chi, Qigong, or get a hypnosis session with Barbie Flora (Bree Baker). You can also go to the Jemez Springs Bath House for a nice soak in the tub, or get a relaxing massage. Relaxation often occurs after soaking in a warm bath tub, after adding 2 cups of organic apple cider vinegar.

How does one find safe space after being hit by a car? First I did a lot of silent screaming and allowed myself to be surrounded by people who were capable of compassion. I listened inside myself and believed the soft determined voice I heard. This inner voice was with me in my dreams and was not embarrassed to ask for help.

Your inner voice, if listened too, does not criticize; it speaks simply, as in knowingness, and it is not bound with fear but knows Love. This inner voice will stand by you and believe in you regardless of all the panic around, and outside yourself.

Miracles in the Here and Now! - to be continued

Love and Light, Cosima

Cosima's story part 13

2009-11-25T22:07:00.000-08:00

Jumping back but I'm calling it Story 13

This is after I went to mom's after the hospitals and the nursing home in April of 2009.

Gracia drove me up to Taos a few weeks ago and we picked up the bicycle, my helmet, one glove, and one shoe. I was disappointed that there was only one shoe. I had purchased a pair of shoes in Taos that were on sale along with a bright yellow green vest and a pair of black bicycle shorts that were much more comfortable then the ones I had been using. Tough stuff. The shoes flew off my feet and the rest the hospital must have cut off of me before surgery. I was hoping for 2 shoes at least since I finally had broken down after having sore feet and bought some good
shoes. Nothing like having dressed up for the event. No one could say I wasn't bright enough to be seen. Humor my friends, we need it for every turn of the corner.

The bicycle is bent pretty bad and the seat and handle bars are about the only thing to save. I didn't feel much by seeing it except wondering a little about how more of my body could have been broken and smashed and mangled.

I did want to celebrate by going for a apple turnover.

Sugar/apple comfort food speaks for itself. When in some distress it is back to endorphins for a quick release. Being aware of the distress on top of talking with the police officers who had been so kind and saved my bicycle for so long. It is silly but I really was hoping for both bicycle shoes. I dropped my bicycle off at Boe's the Bicycle Doc in Los Alamos and he was kind enough to take it apart and give me the handle bars and seat. Poor bicycle, I had it fixed up so it was a perfect fit for me and it had been so much fun to ride.

Actually all I remember about the accident was having had a wonderful time with so many wonderful bicycle people. They will always be dear to my heart. It is a good thing to remember the wonderful vacation and great places and time I had with these people and Taos. It was my first big trip anywhere since the accident. It helped being apart of a place again where I had had an adventure.

It also helped the feeling of a time gap. It was like making a patch work quilt. I now felt connected again with the place and space where I left one reality and moved to a different reality. I was healing very quickly - so quickly family and friends could hardly believe it. But I am like a different person now it is not just the titanium inserts. I may never be able to be the same active person I was before. Yes with years of effort I will be able to do some of the same things. But all of my spiritual work before this accident event was put to the maximum test. You can't lay in a hospital bed and wake up to find your whole life has changed and not have to use every speck of spiritual practice you have ever learned.

In Spiritual practice one thinks one understands gratitude. One can talk about gratitude but it is not the same as being so filled with Light that being alive at all is miracle and gratitude is the only word that can be spoken or heard.

To be continued . . .

Cosima's story part 12

2009-11-20T22:19:00.000-08:00

Cosima's Story Part 12

Dear Friends and Friends of the Mountaineer's,

Thank you so much for your support and assistance in my recovery from my accident last year. If you were to see me you would be very amazed at how far I have advanced since that serious event.

I have moved from a wheel chair, to a walker, to a cane, to even getting on my trail bike a couple of times. I'm now driving my car enough that I have been able to drive my Mom, as well as a friend of mine who went blind, to appointments in Albuquerque. I have also gone back to doing massage recently, and am working on 3 to 4 clients a day (once in awhile). I still need to have surgery in January to get one long piece of metal and five screws removed from my right arm to have better use of it, but I am thrilled to be back to working, even if it is sparingly.

Everyone has been so very supportive, but I would like to give a special thanks to Gracia Coffin for her Reiki treatments and Light Blessings.

I especially want to thank Annette Weyrauch and Mari Jorgensen at Physical Therapy Plus in Los Alamos for the months of intensive work that brought me back to living an almost normal life again.

I interviewed about five Physical Therapists in Los Alamos looking for someone who would do 'hands on' work. Considering that I had to get a ride from my mother's house (it was about an hour and a half drive one way), I really needed someone who would spend an a full hour's time physically shifting the positions that my body was in, not just putting me on machines. One reason that I moved to my Mom's is that she had a stationary bicycle, a walker, an arm machine, a large ball, and rubber band accessories.

I needed someone who would work into the tissue since my right arm and hand could barely be moved. I could have applied for a legal disability, but I really just wanted to go back to work.

Presently, I can squeeze my hand into a fist, and my elbow straightens out almost perfectly. I can reach over my head, I am gaining strength in my back, and I can now almost balance on my left leg.

Since Annette is a bicycle person herself she was able to relate particularly well to my athletic tendencies, and love of nature. This made our time together much more valuable.

I so much appreciate the constant motivation and effort that Annette and Mari gave me, and their sparks of variety and patient persistence that helped my body change. I feel so grateful for their professional knowledge and compassionate friendship. I know that I still have a ways to go with flexibility, but it feels like a miracle happening in the here and now!

Thank you all so much for your loving thoughts and support, and supporting Jan and my family who had to spend so much time and see me go through so much pain and effort to recover.

Love and Light

Cosima

Cosima's story part 11

2009-11-03T21:24:00.000-08:00

Cosima's Story Continued Part 11

I started going out to my new studio once a day and spending time painting. I painted on small card size sheets of paper and painted mainly animals. This was a great way to exercise my hands and sitting in a chair and walking out to the shop was a good effort. Making my bed and cooking everyday and exercising on the stationary bicycle and the walker helped out a lot. Jan brought down his stepper machine along with a big ball and stretchy bands. It was like having my own personal gym. I decided the physical therapy I was going to in Bernalillo was not helping my right arm and hand enough.

Sam came to visit and we went for a walk in Gilman canyon and saw fresh mountain lion tracks. Sam and I had a great time catching up and he could see that I was really improving fast. All that equipment and eating my own food made a lot of difference plus having such wonderful visits from my sons.

After Sam left I decided to have Jan take me to Los Alamos and interview all of the Physical Therapists in that area. I wanted to find one that would give me hands on work and who would continue the work like my occupational therapist Liz, who had had some special training, had done for me. Adam, who was also from the nursing home, had really trained me in what exercises I needed to do at home. Bernalillo had a great Physical Therapist but I really wanted more hands on work for the amount of time of driving back and forth. I decided on Physical Therapy Plus because Annette really seemed to know how to do hands on work and there were no machines. Besides Annette was President of the Tough Riders in the Los Alamos bicycle group and she could really relate to what kind of injury getting hit by a car on a bicycle would be like.

Jan and some of my friends helped out with giving me rides to Los Alamos for physical therapy. With Annette's work and encouragement I started practicing putting the key in the ignition and taking it out and stepping on the brake. In two weeks time I was driving the car around my mother's house. Even though it took 2 hands to turn the ignition on I was driving to the bank and post office and practicing with short drives.

Pretty soon I was driving myself to Los Alamos and a few wintry nights I stayed in Gracia's parents Condo in Los Alamos. Being able to drive myself was the most exhilarating feeling about being back to normal. The freedom of not having to depend on someone else to get you where you want to go is unexplainable. Even though the gratitude for having assistance is magical. Driving is so self empowering when you haven"t been able to drive in 8 months. Let's celebrate this empowerment with Joy.

Thanks be for all the prayers and glorious help I have had and the genetic inheritance of persistence from my parents.

To Be continued Story 12

Love and Light

Cosima

Cosima's story part 10

2009-08-25T20:53:00.000-07:00

Mom's House in The Jemez

Waking up at Mom's house was like such a new life. We kept the Christmas decorations up way past New Years just to be festive and to celebrate my homecoming. Because of the off and on snow storms and all of the physical therapy equipment it would be a while before I would be able to move back to my home at the cabin above Fenton Lake in the Jemez. I still needed help doing things and it would be some time before I could drive again.

I so enjoyed making my own breakfast and eating my own whole oats and cutting up an apple was such a good work out some days I just had apple sauce and blue berries and 2 fried eggs or a almond butter sandwich.

Dr. Dan sent me this standard brand Phosfood liquid stuff that helped with the nausea and my Catalyin and Calcium levels. My Acupuncturist from Houston sent me organic liquid vitamins and got me to take Pro-biotics with yogurt type bacteria which really helped my intestinal tract.

Each day with the handful of vitamins I take 6-8 Spirilina, vitamin 400 E, B12 1,000, Vitamin D 2,000, Fish oil and Omega, Boneup 10 tablets, 10 drops of minerals, vitamin C 2,000,etc. It is hard not to be full from just taking all the vitamins and all the water to get them down.

After my shower, meditation, making my bed, and exercising on the machines sometimes I needed to rest.

After Christmas I started going to Physical Therapy in Bernalillo once or twice a week and I enjoyed that. Then I decided I needed more hands on work and started going to Annette at Physical Therapy Plus in Los Alamos.

Zach came to visit for several days and helped moved the stuff out of the gold building into Mom's big garage. The stuff he moved was very heavy - I don't know how he did it. I had helped him move it in there last year when we had set up stuff of my Dad's and Carl, my step Dad's, stuff to sell. Mom sold a lot but just the tables themselves were a 2 person carry job. Zach and I had a great time and his visit certainly helped me adjust to living out of the nursing home.

So he set up the gold building which I had worked very hard on before the accident. With Zach's help I had scrubbed all the oil off the floor since it was originally my Dad's junk and storage room full of odds and ends. My friend Bucky cut the metal that stuck out into the room off the walls. I patched and patched the cracks and we sealed up the old garage door and John helped me paint the outside and inside with spray paint. Bobby helped me seal the cracks around the sides and seal the floor. Jan helped me tape most of the doors shut. Its a good thing I had completed most of the projects at my Mom's and at my house before the accident. It is a strange thing how friends had commented about how I was racing around completing all of these tasks just like a little ant. Do we know subconsciously when we must get something done because we won't be able to do it later?

It is big enough big enough for art tables and a whole workshop. I had made curtains and so I moved my stuff in and what a wonderful studio it is. We had moved a big old pot belly wood stove in and it warmed up the place in no time at all.

I had wanted to complete this project before the accident and have another book signing for my teacher Michael Silver Dragon. As far as I know that had been my main motivation. Michael is a miracle walking around - he has been in dialysis for 13 years going to dialysis 2 times a week.

At first holding a paint brush to do watercolor was a big workout. I started with real small paintings and what fun it was to watch color happen. The hand work with brushes was a great workout and motivated me to look for someone to help me get my hands working again.

I had Zach take me for a ride up to my cabin. There was about 24 inches at the curb and he went through the snow to get some stuff out of the cabin for me. I sat in the car and looked longingly at the cabin and enjoyed the warm car. As much as I wanted to go in my body was not up to making it through the snow. It was certainly inspiring to see my home and what a lot of snow we had. It was so beautiful I just sat there and cried a bit.

Story to be continued Part 11

Cosima's story part 9

2009-08-19T21:23:00.000-07:00

Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation Home

At this point in time for me allowing healing to occur is a conscious decision and it takes trust in ones inner voice and courage to stick with the plan no matter what other people are telling you. It is useful to listen to the advice and suggestions and then sort them out to hear and feel what resonates with your own stage and with the moment.

I asked a friend of mine to help me figure out about the drug I was taking at night which calmed down the restlessness and the shouting pains - nerve pains that would go down my legs at night. I had been asking the staff at the nursing home but I really wasn't getting any answers.

When one of my friends looked up the last drug I was still on which I took at night to help me relax and sleep we found out it was a derivative of Valium and very addictive. She and other people advised me to get off of it slowly. It was suggested to still take it every 3 days for 15 days to 30 days instead of going off it completely. But the side effects were the same either way and I was determined to get off the drug. Ten days of sickness (throwing up ten times a day and having diarrhea all morning and half of the night) was very difficult for everyone but well worth it in the long run). I started using homeopathic medicine that my acupuncturist suggested. It was different than passion flower and Valerian root which I had taken during menopause. It helped a lot but the side effects of getting off the drug really made keeping up with physical therapy and eating a big job.

They insisted on weighing me every other day which made the 96 lbs to 92 lbs scare everybody with the quick weight fluctuation. I was still taking vitamins and they must have absorbed quickly because I still had strength to go take showers and go to physical therapy.

I know my family and everyone thought I was crazy but seeing the clients around me that were still taking drugs just made me realize that I did not want to be on anything I did not know the long term side effects of.

Now I have learned that there were other kinds of treatments I could have gotten if I could have found someone who did lymph drainage to come to the nursing home. Lymph drainable is a massage technique which manually assists the lymph system to aid you in detoxifying which helps with swelling and muscle and nerve pain.

Attendants thought maybe I was bulimic and everyone thought I should go back on the drug. Oh well determination finally paid off. Ten days and it was pretty much over. I decided about then that I wanted to be home at Mom's for Christmas and that being able to fix my own food would help me be healthier.

I got to go to the movie Australia for my Birthday which motivated me to go home as well. I was walking even without a cane by December 13 and they were ready to have me leave but we talked them into letting me stay until December 22, 2008. My Physical Therapist, Adam, and my Occupational Therapist, Liz, had really helped me make incredible progress I wanted to work with them as long as possible. I could hold my fingers down on the right hand and the elbow and shoulder would move out a little bit. I could feed myself somewhat with my right hand and I could walk. Thanks to Liz and Adam for all their help. I limped some with the right leg but I was able to pack my stuff and get it ready for Jan to carry to the car and I walked out by my self. Yeah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was now ready for a physical therapist outside the nursing home.
What a big day Dec. 22 was for me. Saying good by to the wonderful staff at the nursing home, my cousin, and many friends who I had met there was hard but it was time to go to the next phase of my recovery. I said goodbye to the birds in the glass cage and the wonderful cottonwood trees in the back yard. It all took awhile but I was ready for the next adventure.

I had been practicing making my bed and I was ready to do my own cooking. So I had been making the transition to leave the nursing home and become more independent.

What a immense feeling of love, joy, and peace as we pulled into my Mom's drive way. She gave me her big room because the bathroom and shower were attached and she had a memory foam adjustable bed. It was hard at first to allow her to do that for me but my sacrum still hurt and I could barely turn over so I moved in. She also had a walker machine, a standing bicycle, some stretchy bands, a large ball, and a hand and arm table bike so I was all set up for home physical activity. Carl, my step dad, had bought a lot of useful equipment before he died. I never imagined that I would be the one to be using it. I am very grateful and it made a big difference in my continuing recovery program.

What a joy to wake up and look out her window and see the juniper tree, the Hermosa tree, and the iris that I had worked so hard to trim and hook up watering systems for.

Sunrise over the red rocks in the Jemez is such a beautiful spot to be in. We got out some Christmas decorations and got ready to celebrate a very important Christmas time together.

We had Christmas dinner at Linda and Michael's place in area 3 above Jemez Springs. It was not quite the same because Carl was with us last Christmas but it was so incredible to be home in Jemez for Christmas that only joy and Love could flow from our hearts.

To be continued . . .

Cosima's story part 8

2009-08-10T21:16:00.000-07:00

Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation Home

What else can I do to speed up my recovery? How about unwinding and Cranial Sacral. I had a 30 minute treatment from Don Cornwell at the school of Natural Therapeutics about 10 or 15 years ago because my teacher Jim Haynes felt I needed some more neck work then he could do. In this 30 minute treatment, which was so subtle, I had a major shift. Jim Haynes was excellent, even profound at Cranial Sacral, and I learned Qigong and meridians and unwinding techniques and many amazing things from him. I got off the table after Don Cornwell's work. I thought, did this work affect me and with humility I say now, I barely made it to the back seat of the car and passed out for 4 hours. Yes, it made a significant difference. My neck was so much improved.

I knew from listening inside that this was important if I was gone to shift my organs, spine, neck, and sacrum. I difentitely needed an expert and someone who could deal with all the injuries I had. Don used to make Hospital visits but he is so busy now, that he does not make hospital visits anymore. Since I was at the stage of walking with a walker even though the trip to Albuquerque was long I could now get in a car and be driven. On my first trip I was walking with a walker sometimes a cane and I had practiced going up 3 steps of stairs a couple of times.

When we got there Don was not yet there and there were 18 steps to his office on the second floor. We left the walker down stairs and Jan helped me by putting his arm under my arm pit and I climbed up 18 stairs. I am sure if Don would have been there I would have received my first treatment down stairs. But, between the really helpful treatment and the inspiration of having walked up stairs I was on my way to making a huge leap in my healing process.

In order to leave the nursing home I had to be having a doctors appointment so I was grateful that Don Cornwell had so many degrees. PhD, D.O.M., and LMT. The Assistant Doctor at the nursing home who signed me out had a daughter who practiced cranal sacral so she understood how unwinding and releasing pressure off of my skull and organs and sacrum would help me. I have made a visit to Don's about every 2-3 weeks since that time.

Dr. Dan was still calling me and giving me Equation of Life energy treatments once a week to every 2 weeks. The energy treatments really helped with the pain and healing and motivation.

I called Michael and Linda from Houston to find out when they were coming into Albuquerque so they could come help me do some emotional release work. I started feeling the release coming on the minute they were in the parking lot. I was in physical therapy at the time and asked them and my son Sam who was in from Seattle to wheel me out to the gazebo area and I started mumbling and crying and expressing some stories I needed to let go of. It went on for an 1 hour or so and I felt a lot better. Michael and Linda have a business called A New Way. They teach a technique called Clarity process which helps people learn how to deal with issues. It is a spiritual process based on Coeducational work out of the Recovery Program. Linda and Michael are very intuitive and excellent at this process besides being Reiki people and certified ministers.

After I started walking with a cane I got to go out to eat once in a while and Jan took me to the Movie Australia which was 2 1/2 to 3 hours long. It was a wonderful birthday present. We went to the Range and then to the movie. What a treat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love driving around and looking at the Sandia Mountains and it was inspiring to get to go do some special things. I made a plan in my heart to be home for Christmas. How good it is to be 61 years old and walking and seeing and being apart of the play and activity of Life.!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Story To Be Continued . . .

Cosima's story part 7

2009-07-21T21:01:00.000-07:00

At Rio Rancho Nursing Home

A few of the things happened that speeded up my healing process. Zach, my son, bought me a very small refrigerator so I could have my own food. Then I was moved into a private room because my room mate had a bacterial infection - the same one that the person in the private room had. So they switched me into the private room. What a blessing indeed - it was a wonderful room with a nice window where I could see trees. The refrigerator made a huge difference because I could have some of my own food. I was at 92 lbs and was having trouble keeping the nursing home food down. Mom would take the organic box soups, chicken, rice, and Chinese vegetables (snow peas, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots) into the nurses station and heat it up. I was only able to eat a few salads once in awhile and beef and fish weren't working.

My friend Eileen Neilhly, who is a certified homeopathic person and Reiki person, sent me many small bottles of homeopathic remedies.

I had started introducing homeopathic medicine (homeopathics uses small amounts of mineral salts that become a catalyst in the body to encourage the body back into balance) and Spirilina (which is a form of green algae which is high in amino acids, good for the immune system and high in antioxidants)and Bone Up(which is a form of calcium that my body assimilates). The calcium the doctors were giving me did not work very well for my body. My experience is that when my body is not assimilating calcium it leaves deposits on my joints and produces bone spurs.

The doctors and nurses could see that I was getting stronger it was hard for them and and technicians to dole vitamins out to me as my requests for amounts increased. Finally they gave me permission to have a lock box and self administer the vitamins and homeopathic medicines. These vitamins and homeopathic medicines helped increase my strength because my body was able to assimilate them more easily.

With my additional strength I started using the walker and my physical therapist would take me around the building inside and outside. Now I could get really close to the trees and practiced walking on sand, dirt, gravel, and through the grass. I walked right over tree roots, through the gravel. and up a sand bank. Sometimes I over did it and paid with pain but after resting on the weekend I would be right back to walking again.

Actually sometimes the pain was unbelievable. It was hard for my family to help me through it because I was so determined that even if they had to assist me when I hobbled back into bed with terrible pain I would be back at it again the next day.

My friend Arianna came to visit me and did a light massage and I used her foot bath and ozone machine. The water turned bright orange as the arthritis from my fingers and bones started releasing un-needed toxins.

Cassandra and Bill did Polarity, Prana Healing, and other energy work on me and my new friend Jennie used her computer and a program called Light to up some of the doses of homeopathics. I met Jeanie through Cassandra. Jeannie has the same birthday as I do. We were both born at Presbyterian Hospital on December 1,1947. Wonderful connections can happen unexpectedly.

I also had a acupuncturist named Laurel Silkie who came to the nursing home twice. It is a real gift when these busy professionals will come to help out someone in a nursing home. Her treatment was a combination of energy work and acupuncture. My body did a lot of releasing on a lot of levels. She also helped figure out later on what to take for diarrhea, pain, and sleep which was interrupted by throwing up all night long when I got off the last drug.

Dr. Bob Schoos, a chiropractor and a friend of mine from the Jemez area, also came to the nursing home. I used to work at the Jemez Springs Bath house and for years Dr. Bob Schoos and I would send clients to each other. He brought his laser machine and gave me a treatment which really improved my strength in legs and arm and hand and thumb. Laser work and his techniques included menge point work and Kinesiology. His own systems are also incredible.

Gracia Coffin, Cecilia Viejos, Linsay Locke, Angele Ferrie - my teachers and friends -all did Reiki on me.

My teacher Michael Silver Dragon who I studied Qi Tao Reiki and chakra issue work for years with and his wife Berta who I studied American Indian Journey work with all came and gave me support and treatments. It was because of Michael's teaching that I was able to assist so many people in Houston at 'A New Way'.

My friend Susan Myers and her husband John helped introduce some new food possibilities.

My long time friend Wanda Higgins from Hummingbird Music Camp came often even on her busy schedule. I have worked on her and her family doing massage and Reiki treatments for years at Hummingbird Music camp. They had a cabin across from my folks when I was a kid and I used to play with the kids in the summer.

As I started to improve I started asking myself what else I needed to do. I still had to make trips by van to UNM hospital for exams and x-rays. It was a long and tedious adventure, 3 to 6 hours in a day, and the x-ray machines were difficult and painful. The staff was always very nice though.

When going to the hospital I had seen other people with physical therapy boards. Being lifted was painful so I decided to ask to borrow the the baby board, to make restroom trips easier. I usually got sick on the way back to the nursing home. My sacrum being broken and ribs smashed and organs smashed together and the spine smashed made it very painful and made my physically ill. I thought to myself what can I do to change this situation I am in. I meditated and remembered.

Next steps to helping myself heal
To be continued Part 8

Cosima's story part 6

2009-06-29T22:30:00.000-07:00

Cosima Story Continued story Part 6

At Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation home:

I had a visual and emotional release after Jan described the accident. I had woken up and was feeling pieces of the car body in my body so I had asked him to describe the accident for the first time. What the couple told him who witnessed the accident was that I hit the bumper, then the hood, then the windshield, and then ripped off the mirror before flying 80 feet through the air. My shoes popped off my feet and then I hit the ground.

The next morning I woke up and had this spontaneous urge to do some silent screaming and I cried for about 30 minutes. Oh whoa is me!!!!!!!!!

I also had some emotional releases from cell memory of the operation. These unexplained feelings would come off my body - feelings about not having choices about what my body was experiencing. I was wanting to say stop wait a minute what is this for?

The dreams I remember more clearly then I do the sequences of events after the accident. I remember only a few things about the accident. This makes this story telling a good practice. Most of the time I stay very much in the here and now because paying attention to what I am doing is necessary to keep from hurting more than I need to.

Staying here and now focusing on each moment as it happens releases me from going into comparisons. Staying here and now keeps me attentive to living an experiment to see what I am capable of doing next. I have a lot of memories but I don't really need them to be alive and happy and excited about each gain of strength and mobility. The past is important and useful but I'm not really the same outdoor physically strong person. Every move I make now requires effort and attention. I am so dependent on others which is a new experience for me. I feel so much gratitude to my family and friends for all of the hours of assistance.

I was not able to wheel myself around in the wheelchair for quite awhile because of my right arm and so I kept visualizing how to improve the wheelchair. When I got some use of my arm enough I started using my legs to walk the chair places - it was a great joy!!!!! I could get to physical therapy by myself and I could go see my cousin Doug in the cafeteria.

I especially liked the stationary bike and the dart board in the physical therapy room. Exercising was such a big part of the day that resting was necessary. Short naps and watching movies on my portable DVD player helped the time go by when pain was so intense.

My sons and Jan would also bring in their lap top computers to watch DVD's. My eyes would get tired quickly though and I decided to have my son make and appointment with my eye doctor.

I started enjoying reading and watching the DVD player much more after I got a new prescription. We went by van to check out my eyes. The Eye doctor was very close to the nursing home that I could have been wheeled there by wheelchair. I was very lucky because although my prescription changed there were no more tears in my retina. The glasses made a big difference. I kept being told that my prescription might change but I could tell I needed to be able to see better now since my vision was so poor and my eyes would tire so quickly. My vision with out glasses is about 2inches from my face.

Life at the Nursing and Rehabilitation home was good. I met many fine people who are residents and temporary residents and the staff is friendly and helpful.

Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To be continued Part 7

Cosima's story part 5

2009-06-23T22:25:00.000-07:00

Cosima Say's story continued Part 5

Story continues from Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation home

Being off the food tube was a big adjustment. Food, which I had really been looking forward too, was not the same as it was before the accident. It was a mouthful to chew and swallow. It had different smells and tastes and my stomach did not always accept it. I had to measure constantly how much I could handle and experiment with the food the nursing home served. I have food allergies and was used to eating primarily vegetables, fish, chicken and certain fruits. My mind wanted fresh vegetables and raw smoothies but my stomach could only handle cooked food. I got very tired of mashed potatoes which my stomach could easily digest. I talked to the nutritionist and tried to figure out a list of things I could and could not eat. I was pretty young in comparison to most of the people at the nursing home and most people there didn't have the same diets I used to have.

The surprising thing that happened was I found out my cousin Doug was in the same nursing home - what a wonderful coincidence. Doug has MS and Jan and Nancy had no idea that he was there. He had been transferred to Rio Rancho from another nursing home. It was so enjoyable to get a chance to spend some time with him. Even though he was in another wing, I could sit in the cafeteria when I could handle the sound level and visit with him. Often I would go for a wheelchair ride and go spend a little time with him in the cafeteria and then go back to the room to eat.

I lucked out on my roommate. She was a very nice woman and she did not hear well so all the visitors I had did not bother her that much. We ended up looking out for each other as a slow friendship grew.

The attendants were mainly these 2 young nice girls who cared for me off and on until I left and went to Mom's. I really liked all of the nurses and attendants and staff at the nursing home. Even though a lot of them worked long hours everyone worked at having a really positive attitude. I even over heard a Doctor giving a attendant a lecture about her attitude so I assume it was a policy. It certainly helped my feeling of being safe and made it a much happier place to be..

I had some adjusting to do and I was still getting off drugs which I had made the decision to do earlier. I started taking one drug to help me relax and sleep. I did not know that it also would require a payment to get off of. The constant battle between constipation and diarrhea wasn't much fun.

I kept having episodes of emotional release from the trauma of the accident and the operation. The releases I was experiencing were not planned into the daily schedule.

The physical therapists, speech therapists, and occupational therapists were really on the ball at Rio Rancho nursing home. They started coming in to my room every morning after my arrival.

At first we did physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy in my room as I was extra sound sensitive and the therapy room was small with a lots of equipment, clients, and therapists around. I have always been a little sound sensitive but this was like 10 times increased since the accident. Everyone was very understanding about it and since I was the only one around at the time hit by a car while on a bicycle we really don't know why.

When I started wearing ear plugs and going to the therapy room when there was less people at first attendants had to lift me into the wheel chair. This was still a big process because of broken ribs and a broken sacrum. My back felt weak and my head felt smashed into my skull.

The physical therapy room was great with gym equipment and a standing bicycle to ride. The occupational therapist did some hands on work which made a huge difference in the use of my right arm. UNM hospital had changed the neck brace and then also the inflexible wrap around my hand and lower right arm to one that could be taken off to exercise my hand and arm.

I really lucked out with the therapists that I was assigned too. The physical therapist took me outside and rolled me up close to trees so I could hug them. You can not imagine how much I missed trees. I live in a 3 room cabin next to a stream under 90 ft ponderosa trees. I paint water color paintings of trees and nature in addition to being a massage therapist and Reiki teacher. Most of my life I have spent outside except when I am working on friends or clients. Spending so many months inside in hospitals was a real challenge. Of course I am very grateful but wow do I like being outside.

The occupational therapist had some hands on training and started getting some movement in my fingers which wouldn't bend and by elbow which would not go out straight. She was very encouraging and made a big difference.

The speech therapist gave me a lot of swallowing exercises and swabbed my mouth with liquids that seemed to increase my ability to swallow.

When the trachea was taken out at first I was able to sing better then I remember being able to sing. It was a short lived gift as my voice has gone back to having trouble staying on key.

When the physical therapists at Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation home wanted me to use a small board to get into the wheelchair I remember putting up my fingers in a cross and I said no way. This strong negative reaction about not wanting to get on the board I think must be a memory of the board from the helicopter flight.

It took some talking to myself pretty strongly to start experimenting with what I decided to call the "baby board". Putting this into perspective and acknowledging that my reluctance was probably from an unconscious memory of the helicopter ride (since I have no memory of the ride) I was able to begin to accept it. As soon as I got this acceptance project started, then I loved just being able to get on the "baby board" and get from one spot to another practically by myself. Using the "baby board" to get from the bed to the wheelchair and back was easier on my body then being picked up and lifted. It was a whole new adventure.

I was getting back to having some control over my life - Yeah! Beginnings of renewed hope began to blossom and bloom.

To be continued in Part 6

Love and Light

Cosima

Cosima's story part 4

2009-06-08T23:09:00.000-07:00

In one of those dreams I remember deciding to LIVE. I remember why I decided to LIVE and having a Rational thought process about why. The choice was made while I was in UNM Hospital in a dream state, but I remembered while I was in Kindred Hospital. It was not too much after I woke up one morning and I WAS SO GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE.

Sam and Zach, my sons, needed to catch up on some of the work they had been missing. Sam's wife Kayla had her Mom Nancy fly in from Washington state to help out my Mom with taking turns at the Hospital.

I remember someone asking me if I remembered choosing to live and when I said yes inside myself I heard the reason why. I was not worried about my sons because they both had good lives and women who would help them make it through life. But my Mom had just had 2 husbands die. She was married to my dad for almost 60 years and then married my dad's brother. He was going on 90 and had taken care of his wife for 8 years before she died and my mom had been taking care of my dad for 4 years before he died. They both had a lot in common such as loving music and the same last name. He died last year and we still miss him. My mom is 83 and 2 deaths in a 3 year period is hard enough to take much less your 60 year old daughter. So, I decided on some dream intervention level to stay in this body. I did not know of course how much pain and how much work it would be to be able to walk and use my right arm again. I did know though that I would have a lot of help both on this plane and from a lot of light beings not so visible. Also I knew then that when I was able to return home I would be living with my mom off and on for quite awhile.

Nancy, Kayla's mom, was a great help and I had my first gentle massage on legs and feet. She is a nurse and it was my mom's first time to meet her. They get along great, she is a very sweet lady. The 3 of us had a fine time and I am very grateful. She also went with Jan to pick out a nursing home. After passing the swallow test I was ok to move on for rehabilitation in a nursing home since I needed less care.

After Nancy left Angele started visiting me rubbing my feet with rescue remedy. That also helped immensely.

When my son Zach returned he gave me a nice massage. I think moving around in the bed and gentle massages where one reason I did not get bed sores.

Sam does Reiki and when he came he told me about doing Reiki on me at UNM hospital and how Kayla his wife started experiencing the energy coming off of me. I had Sam work on my right leg, which at the time was spasming and the two toes next to the big toe would curl up and cross over each other. There was still a lot of pain and Sam would end up with very hot hands and need to shake of the intensity of the pain. I could only handle short treatments and soft touching.

When Jan worked on me he couldn't believe how I would jump from being touched. There is nothing like having so many people around me trained in Reiki to make a difference in recovering from a major accident. I am a certified Reiki Teacher and have over 50 students. I never thought I would be needing treatments the way I need them now.

The big move to Rio Ranch Nursing and Rehabilitation Home was by Ambulance as I was still wheelchair bound. It was a exciting day to leave a hospital environment and go to a Nursing home. They had a piano in the entrance room plus a glass bird cage with lots of singing birds. Outside there were big trees and 4 little gazebos and places to sit along a concrete walk way.

Not long before I left Kindred, they had put in a trachea which I could touch on the outside and speak. The whole family was thrilled because writing notes and making sign language to get my messages across was difficult. My voice sounded strange after so many weeks of not being able to speak.

Saying good by to the staff at Kindred took awhile and with having so many cards and so many visitors and constant attention from family and friends.

I felt like a celebrity leaving a familiar place. I was a little sad to be leaving friends at the hospital but so happy to be moving on to the next adventure.

Love and Light Cosima

Story to be continued . . .

Cosima's story part 3

2009-05-25T22:14:00.000-07:00

Dear friends

You know that if you are looking for a miracle, you can count on my still being alive as one of those unexplained miracles. THERE IS NO LOGICAL REASON FOR ME TO STILL BE ALIVE. If you saw the bicycle and you understood WHAT A FREAKY ACCIDENT IT WAS, you would be asking yourself a lot of unexplainable questions.

Still at Kindred Hospital:

The family whose son and daughter were part of the accident came to visit me at Kindred hospital and have continued to visit. They are a very nice family. The son and daughter read me a letter that they wrote telling me how sorry they were. The family has undergone counseling because of this event. The father and son have come and helped out by things outside, like cutting wood and raking pine needles at my cabin, which I cannot do right now.

FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY TO HAPPINESS as it says in "The Course in Miracles".

I wasn't thinking of the course I had studied. Most of my response was triggered from my heart and a dream I had had. The dream was as real to me as life. It was about a school teaching children a new respect for themselves. The school was a secret school and was hidden from the world which was not in favor of children learning who they really are. The time period appeared to be in the 1800's because of the dress code. A friend of mine was the main teacher. Women or young girls out in the real world apart from this school particularly were not allowed to be learning the trades that were taught at this school. She helped me to understand that children can be damaged permanently if they feel really guilty about something that they have done. Sometimes the damage affects the way they relate to others for the rest of their life so much that when they have children they pass that same pattern on.

This dream triggered in me a need to completely forgive the son and daughter responsible for this accident. No matter what anyone said to me about what I should do I knew with all of my beingness that I must take my own guidance on this event.

I have explained to quite a few friends that acknowledging what has happened and letting go of it by silent screaming for the pain or just remembering, forgiving and letting go are the important factors in helping the body and mind to heal. How much does someone need to pay for mistakes? Can you really get anything out of revenge? Isn't the world in a state of delusion about an eye for and eye? Really who pays the most for holding a grudge?

Have you viewed the TV program " Joan of Arcadia". This young teenage girl gets visits from God. In this program God visits her with a changing Image such as the garbage man or the teacher or a little girl in the park. God is always asking Joan to do some task like join the chess club or be someones friend. It is after a lot of incidental things happen that sometimes she begins to understand how this project she has been given helps someone. Sometimes God has to spell it out more clearly by showing her what would have happened if she had not made friends with someone. Often she gets in trouble with her family or friends because they do not understand why she is doing so many odd things. She has learned that she can't tell anyone that God talks to her because they will think she needs counseling.

In this dimension though, I remember very strongly saying to my friend Angele who was in my dream, this was before my accident. I was quite adamant about how abuse needed to stop happening on this planet, YOU may think that is fairly precocious of me.

I learned in the hospital because of my judgment about abuse, and some of my pain level, that if I could totally appreciate each attendant or nurse and cleaning person, I could have compassion and help them feel good about themselves. If I chose to ignore how they were feeling they might continue to have a bad hair day!!!.. On those days I would suffer because their mood was distracting them from being careful. If I didn't help them shift their mood, sometimes it was a painful bath in the bed, or they lifted me a little to high and plopped me down a little to hard, etc. If I acknowledged that I recognized something was going on with them and then thanked them for how much care they were giving me, they started being more aware of how they handled me.

I did get to meet one of the nurses who worked so diligently on my scars on my face at UNM Hospital. It was a brief connection and again she helped me through some pain as it was an early morning ambulance ride from Kindred Hospital for a appointment at UNM Hospital. I was hurting a lot and she did some energy work that helped. Thanks to her I don't have much visible scar tissue on my forehead.

Among things I began to realize is that I was healing quickly. I had more energy than most patients, but I did not sleep well. At first I thought it was the bed and the constant sound and activity that I was not use to. But, then I also realized that all my wonderful friends must be working on me and sending me energy. It was a powerful realization 'of being so loved' people were sending me round the clock all this energy.

The staff helped me realize that I needed sleep to help the healing also. My Friend Dr. Dan who had been calling me and doing distance treatments: He calls them "The Equations of Life " suggested ear plugs and an Ipod of music which really helped along with his incredible treatments. So many friends came in and gave me Reiki treatments both at UNM Hospital and at Kindred. I was so drugged and in a dream world from all the surgeries I didn't remember half of the wonderful friends who came to my bedside and did all this incredible energy work on me. But the dreams I had were so real I can still relate most of the contents in vivid living color.

Finally I decided to request that energy work be backed off a little. After getting more sleep and 'One Equation of Life treatment' I woke up one morning feeling totally grateful for being alive.

It was a total feeling and though I still had a lot of pain It was like jumping through some major hoop. I had come along way Baby!!!!!!!!. From not understanding that I was non weight bearing and tied to some bed post to feeling "Totally grateful for Being Alive".

Story to be continued

cosima's story part 2

2009-05-10T13:37:00.000-07:00

Part 2 Cosima's story-continued

Please don't get me wrong about Western Medicine. I am very grateful for the incredible surgeries on my legs and arm and hip. Without surgery and the efficient care I got from the medical staff at UNM hospital I am certain I would not be walking or alive.

At Kindred Hospital being lifted into a wheel chair was a big deal. I really enjoyed being wheeled around and getting to go outside on nice days. Jan and Mom took turns and Sam and Zach would fly in every other week. I had such tremendous wheel chair rides and such awesome support. Also the number of friends visiting me and the number of cards was overwhelming. What an incredible amount of love was poured my way. How can I possibly explain the gratitude and love that I feel in my heart for everyone's support.

The cleaning staff were glad for me to leave the room and go for rides in the wheel chair, because cleaning products have such a strong smell I would often feel sick for hours if they mopped while I was in the room.

When I heard I might get off the food tube at Kindred hospital by taking the swallow test I started to crave chocolate. But, having given up chocolate, except in very small amounts, I knew that this craving was also just part of the old sugar habit of wanting comfort. The swallow test was no easy process, especially having food allergies. Even, the smell of food was not that easy. First time a round I did not pass.

They pull the tubes so you can take the test and then put them back in if you do not pass the test. They watch you swallow with a machine. The reason for caution has to do with getting bacteria into your lungs and getting pneumonia. My nostrils are not large enough for tubes. I must have been on some pretty heavy drugs the first time they put them in. Without Zach holding my hand and Gracia talking me though it over the phone, I would never have been able to do it due to the pain level. On top of that it did not get positioned correctly and had to be done again.

Since I was not considered weight bearing on my legs and one arm I often had to call the staff into move me up in bed. I needed the head of the bed raised because of the trachea and food tube. Broken ribs, smashed organs, and tubes all added to the feeling of needing to move up toward the head of the bed. I learned I could bend my knees and hoist up toward the head of the bed even with just one arm. Maybe I became stronger because of experimenting with this technique instead of calling for help all the time.

The more conscious I became the more I realized that the air bed I had must have something wrong with it. The fact that my sacrum was broken did not make even sleeping on my side comfortable. One day after insisting that something must be wrong with the bed they actually had an inspection and found out it was broken.

The fact that I had so many visitors and so many cards I think is one of the reasons they finally listened to me about the bed. There are so many emergencies day and night it is difficult to keep a constant positive attitude about patients, I am very grateful for the hospitals staffs compassion.

The arrival of a new air mattress was very exciting and the bed made a big difference.

Thanks again for listening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love and Light Cosima

Story to be continued next week.

in her own words

2009-04-30T21:22:00.000-07:00

We have a welcome change in format. Instead of hearing things from an outside perspective I am going to post what Cosima sends me. She has asked that I edit as I see fit since it is hard for her to spend very long looking at a computer screen but I will do very minimal editing - just very basic items. So without further ado here is Cosima herself:

Cosima says: story (part 1)

I am glad to be alive!!!!!!!!!! Getting mobility back has been a challenge but, I have a lot of self discipline from years of yoga, Qigong and spiritual study.

I really don't remember much about the accident. I was ridding along enjoying the scenery and having a great time. I do remember hearing Gracia scream out. I do remember someone telling me that it would be better for my legs to be down hill and I remember somehow lifting them and changing their direction. I also remember having put my tongue to the roof of my mouth and breathing up the center of the spinal column (the cosmic orbit). I think that must have been when the car hit me. I think that is one reason that I am still alive. Connecting with vital life force by doing the cosmic orbit keys one into the 'Tao' or a place of 'Being'. Another reason that I still must be alive is having such loving attention from my family and friends - it made such a difference.

On ambulance rides from Kindred hospital to UNM Hospital for appointments I met a couple of the ambulance drivers who actually were with me on either the arrival of the helicopter or the actual helicopter ride. Anyway they remembered the event and it was nice to get to meet them and thank them consciously.

The difficult part about hospitals is that so much is going on all the time. So many people and then you spend a lot of time by yourself. Being around so many people on a bicycle trip and then lots of people in a hospital it really adds up to a lot of sound and light. I noticed being hypertensive. Some times behind the curtain right next to you there are emergency situations at anytime of the day or night. I could definitely do without food tubes for the rest of my life.

For sometime I could not place in my mind what my sons and Jan were trying to tell me. I could not understand why they would not let me get up to go to the restroom. I was disoriented in time and place and did not see how there had been time for an accident. I kept thinking I was in Seattle because of hearing my daughter in law's voice and having dreams about Seattle.

The day that I remember trying to get out of bed and after ending up sitting on the floor without being able to use my legs I decided to get off of morphine and oxymax. They tied me up at night with my already immobile arm which made sleeping even more difficult. Refusing pain medication and trying to convince the hospital staff that 2 times of trying to get out of bed were enough took some talking. I clearly realized that the strength had gone from my legs and that I had been in an accident or something.

I did not like being tied up. Getting off of drugs was a teeter-totter experience between nausea, diarrhea and constipation. The wheat and sugar and drugs from food tubes and the trachea tube etc were motivating me to want to get up and get out of there. The amount of patience that I began to consciously practice was core issue spiritual work.

Once I began to understand that I did not have to do everything they expected me to do was a true day of taking charge of my healing.

By listening internally I began to make choices that made my healing faster.

Story to be continued next week . . .

pics of Cosima

2009-04-05T20:58:00.000-07:00

Cosima & Sam hiking together

Cosima in her art studio at Thelma's

Cosima hiking

Thought everyone would enjoy some pictures of Cosima Sam took while he was down there visiting. Good to see her getting back to doing some of the things she loves including hiking. Her art studio is set up for her to do some painting and hopefully even host an art show sometime so stay tuned.

what a change

2009-03-17T07:01:00.000-07:00

Well looks like when I updated about Cosima driving soon she beat me to the punch. When Sam flew in on Friday to visit Cosima was in the driver's seat. Thelma was with her and she hasn't driven alone yet but am sure that will be happening quickly.

Sam was so impressed with her progress and how well she is doing and so soon. Already she is at where the doctors said she would be at the 1 year mark.

Her intense physical therapy on her arms is paying off and she is regaining her mobility and strength.

Cosima and Sam walked for about 3 1/2 to 4 miles 1 day in various places. She was able to get up and over rocks and walk on some very uneven ground. Her pace may still be slow but being able to get in that many miles in 1 day is impressive though she did pay for it a bit with some soreness the next day.

They went to the cabin to pick up some painting supplies and were able to sit by the stream drinking tea together.

It was a great weekend and the weather even hit 70 degrees on Sunday though the day before it snowed. Sam came home yesterday excited about his mom's tremendous progress. Even better was how positive she is about continuing to recover and prove those doctors wrong with their estimates of how long it will take her to get to the next stage. Once again she is surpassing every one's expectations but knowing her and how determined she is we shouldn't be surprised.

rapidly improving

2009-03-12T18:28:00.000-07:00

Sorry it has been so long between posts, life gets in the way and suddenly it is weeks later. Cosima has been making remarkable progress. She switched physical therapists and has found someone she feels is really helping make some excellent progress.

Cosima has been focusing on increasing her arm strength and her mobility. She is seeing some good improvement thanks to her new therapist and all the time and energy she is putting in to her recovery.

Something she has working towards is being able to drive again. She is hoping she will be back on the road again in several weeks. This will really be the next step in regaining her freedom.

Sam is visiting her tomorrow. He is excited to see her progress and get caught up in person. It is never quite the same to talk on the phone versus being there in person. He arrives this afternoon and will leave on Monday so this will give them some good time together. Am sure I will have some additional updates after I hear from him.

walking through the woods

2009-02-11T21:35:00.000-08:00

Cosima was able to take a walk with her friend Gracia helping her just a bit through the woods for over a mile. And the best part was that she didn't need her cane to get around - just a bit of assistance from her friend.

This week she is staying with Gracia while helping her friend Dr Dan during his visit. She was even able to do a brief bit of energy work on someone.

So far she feels her legs are doing very well and it is her arm where she feels she needs the most work. In order to increase her strength in her arms she is looking at some different options and possibly a way to intensify her physical therapy. Am sure we will have more to report on that later.

Being able to go to her cabin and walk in by herself was such an exciting moment for her. After having been away for so long it was very exciting to be able to walk into her own home after almost five months. Just being back in her own space if only for a brief time was very uplifting.

Know there will be many more walks in the woods - am sure these will soon be hikes where Sam and I definitely wouldn't be even able to keep up. We are all looking forward to that moment though it might just be nice to be able to keep pace with her for a brief period of time before she takes off on us.

life & stuff

2009-02-04T21:00:00.000-08:00

Cosima has been doing what many of us do - shopping, movies, errands. She has been going to Albuquerque to get some of her errands done - with company of course. Just being able to do many of the things we take for granted is such a huge step for her.

She is continuing to work on her paintings. Maybe there will be enough for a show soon - know we all want to see her work.

Therapy is still progressing. Right now she is getting in one session with the therapists a week and then doing the exercises on her own. She is definitely keeping up on her therapy and continues to improve. Each week she is able to do a bit more

On Sundays she has been going to church with Thelma. They have both been enjoying attending services together though I believe it is just Thelma singing in the choir.

Dr Dan is visiting in a few weeks so Cosima has been helping get ready for his visit as well and is looking forward to seeing him.

3 legs instead of 4

2009-01-28T18:09:00.000-08:00

Cosima has exchanged her walker for a cane. Seems she only needs 1 extra leg of additional support instead of 2. She says she is getting around quite well with the cane.

She has been doing some painting in her studio space and is enjoying getting back to it. I will have to see if she can send us some pictures to post of her work. Otherwise I will have Sam get some pictures next time he is there for a visit. Know we would all love to see what she has been working on.

Cosima has even been able to do some very light work on Thelma. Thelma is happy to get some work done as Cosima worked on her mom quite a bit before the accident and she really benefited from it. Now Cosima is seeing results as well with her strength very slowly starting to increase.

therapy continues

2009-01-14T21:23:00.000-08:00

Cosima had her physical therapy appointment on Tuesday. It sounds like it was pretty intense and the therapist had her do quite a bit. She was using various pulleys and weights so they are making sure she is getting the most out of the visit.

Right now she is at 1 physcial therapy appointment per week so it has to really count. On her own she is continuing to ride the stationary work and practice the exercises she has learned from the therapists. She is definitely making sure she is continuing to get her exercises in on a daily basis.

Zach actually went back on Monday - somehow I thought it was Tuesday so that was my error. They had a great visit together. Zach was able to help get the studio at Thelma's ready for Cosima so she can start using it to paint in or for anything else she wants to do.

Cosima had worked hard last year to clean up the building and had really fixed it up so she could do some work there. Zach was able to put the finishing touches on it and it is ready for her use. Turns out the timing was excellent and now she will have a place where she can work and a space she can escape to. Makes me want to somehow have Sam make me my own studio - a space to be creative seems like so much fun. Lets hope he is reading this though not sure where it would go.

home sweet home

2009-01-11T10:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Cosima was able to go up to her cabin for the first time since her accident. Zach drove her up there but she did stay in the car since there was over 3 feet of snow on the ground and she wouldn't have been able to navigate it. Just being able to see if after all these months it was a welcome sight. Zach was able to get a few things for her out of the cabin that she had been wanting to have.

Am sure it was hard for her not to go inside but we were very glad she chose to be safe and just view it from the car.

On Friday she and Zach went to see a movie. She has been able to get out to dinner as well.

Zach said she has been moving around very well and doing quite a few things on her own. She has been cooking her own food and that has been good since then she can make what she wants and how she likes it cooked.

It is still hard to believe how far she has come so far - whenever someone asks and we give them an update they are so surprised with where she is today. We know she will continue to keep progressing at an amazing rate.

Zach leaves on Tuesday and it has been wonderful that he was able to be there for a week and spend all that time with his mom and grandma.

assistance requested

2009-01-07T08:28:00.001-08:00

Cosima has made a special request for some energy work to be performed on her. If you are able to visit her in person she would really like to have you work on her. If you don't live close by she would like it to be done remotely.

She is especially interested in concentrating the work on her spinal column as this is an area she feels she needs the most help with currently. If you want to have additional information please call her. She really feels that the energy work at this time will make a big difference for her.

Zach arrived last evening to spend some time with her. She is excited to have him visit and has been looking forward to his arrival. Am sure they will enjoy their time together and will be a huge improvement now that she is no longer at the hospital or nursing center - much easier to visit with someone if it isn't confined to a single room in a public location.

happy new year

2009-01-02T15:48:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! Cosima has been able to get outside a few times this week. She stayed up to greet in the New Year after a busy day going to a movie, shopping, and spending time with friends. She was surprised she made it past midnight but with all that she was doing during the day it kept her busy.

She also was able to take a walk down by the river with Gracia for New Year's Day. Not a bad way to bring in the new year with a walk and spending time outside with nature which is one of her favorite places to be.

She has was able to get out for a treatment so she has had plenty of activity to keep her busy.

Cosima has been riding the stationary bike and doing her other exercises to keep up with her physical therapy. She has also been using weights to build up her strength.

She is planning to take a bit of a rest today and will get out on Sunday for church with Grandma.

Next week she will begin her out patient physical therapy. It looks like she will have therapy several times a week.

visitors

2008-12-29T19:57:00.000-08:00

Cosima is getting adjusted to being out of the hospital. Going from a very structured environment and having most of your day mapped out to suddenly not having the schedule in place has been a bit of an adjustment.

It is going very well with her at Thelma's house and she is still getting organized and setting up her routine. They are doing well together and enjoying each other's company.

Today she spent quite a bit of time on the stationary bike and is working to continue her therapy. She tried to do some very light work on Thelma but realized that she isn't able to do that yet.

Cosima would love to have more visitors now that she is at Thelma's and she has much more time to visit and catch up with her friends. Please call Thelma's at 575-829-3949 just to make sure they will be home. It is much easier to visit in a private residence and she would love to see whoever is able to stop by.

Christmas pics

2008-12-28T11:05:00.000-08:00

Cosima's friend Linda sent us some pictures of the Christmas celebration at her house. She said it still hurts Cosima to laugh and it was hard to keep her from laughing. But am sure even though it hurts to laugh it is still good medicine.

Looks like everyone had a very good time as evidenced by the big grins on their faces. Thanks for sharing these Linda.

a very merry christmas

2008-12-25T20:36:00.000-08:00

A very merry Christmas to everyone! Cosima is very happy to be at Thelma's and out of the hospital.

Today she was able to go to a friend's house for Christmas along with Thelma and Jan. She also got the opportunity to go down to the river and walk by it for a bit. She told Sam she got her walker wheels muddy enough that she had to get them washed off in the water.

Being able to get outside and get the fresh air and be by the river was a Christmas gift in itself.

Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and kindnesses the past few months she feels truly blessed. Being out of the hospital and going to a friend's house for the holiday is so much more than any of us would have even hoped for a few months ago.

It truly is a very Merry Christmas for Cosima and us today.

checked out

2008-12-22T19:49:00.000-08:00

It is official Cosima checked out today and is now at Thelma's house. The next stage has truly begun.

3 months might seem like a long time but when we were aware of the full extent of her injuries we couldn't have imagined she would be at her mom's house for Christmas. Her progress so far has surpassed our expectations and hopes.

She and Thelma ran some errands to get a few items they still needed. When Sam spoke with her this evening she was laying in her bed watching a movie.

They were even able to pick up a small Christmas tree to help get in the holiday spirit though with her out of the nursing center I don't think they need much help. Thelma had put up a few decorations but she hasn't been home much since she has been staying close to Cosima.

Her legs are still pretty swollen and she can definitely feel it when she has been doing the physical therapy or walking quite a bit like she did today. Hopefully the swelling will start to subside but it is to be expected at this point. She is still pretty sore and stiff but is getting around very well with her walker.

Her digestive problems have improved quite a bit in the last 5 days. Now that she is at Thelma's and eating all of her own food she is hoping this will continue.

She is very happy to be checked out. Because of all the activity today her appt at UNMH was postponed as it was scheduled for tomorrow.

One of the things that made her the happiest was being able to cut off her hospital wrist bracelet today. That truly makes it official when you no longer have that on your wrist and after over three months she was ready for it to be gone.

prepping for the move

2008-12-20T17:19:00.001-08:00

Cosima is getting ready for her move to Thelma's house on the 22nd. She got a new walker that she will be using - it is very similar to her current one. She is working on the details to make sure she is all ready to go.

Currently she is packing up her belongings and Thelma is working on getting her house ready for her new housemate.

Tomorrow she will have physical therapy since it is a holiday week and her therapy will be cut short. Right now it looks like she will go into therapy a couple of times a week after she leaves the nursing facility.

Several have asked for Thelma's address so here it is:
134 Camino Azul Box 14
Jemez Pueblos, Nm 87024

Cosima is very excited to be on to the next stage very shortly.

throwing snowballs

2008-12-17T20:39:00.000-08:00

It turns out physical therapy can be fun! Cosima told one of her physical therapists that she was tired of being inside doing her therapy and asked that they go outside.

It had snowed there (seems the cold weather and snow is affecting the U.S. all over) and the therapist had her throwing snowballs at him. Not to worry she was being very careful to not loose her balance. The therapist was hiding behind trees and she was pelting him with snowballs.

Sounds like a whole new way to receive therapy and use your arm muscles. Maybe this will become the new physical therapy gold standard when it snows. It definitely made her smile and changed up her routine. I wish we had enough snow left to get in my own snowball fight.

Sorry for the delayed post but Sam had been trying to reach her for a few days and hadn't been able to reach her. It turns our there is something wrong with her phone. If you have been calling she is not ignoring you. If you want to speak with Cosima call the nursing center directly.

As for Christmas she is already making plans to go to Michael and Linda's house for Christmas dinner if she is up for it and not too tired from the process of being checked out.

We are hoping for more snow in New Mexico so Cosima can keep working on her snowball making and throwing skills. We will wish for snow in Seattle as well so we can keep up with her when we see her next. We don't want to loose the snowball fight or really we just want to hold our own. In fact it might not be a bad idea for all of us to get in some practice so she doesn't take us by surprise.

getting ready for Thelma's

2008-12-14T15:12:00.000-08:00

Sam spoke with Cosima yesterday and she was a bit sore from all the physical therapy this past week. She is taking the weekend to recover a bit and get ready to start the process again.

On Monday she is going to check out the place where she would have ongoing physical therapy as an out patient when she is at Thelma's. The facility is about 45 minutes away from the house so it shouldn't be too far to drive for her appointments.

She is still having a few digestive issues but said she is going to "power through them" and with time is thinking it will improve.

Having the date to go home is very exciting and Cosima and Thelma are making plans to ensure she will be comfortable there and that her space is set up. Someone has offered a new bed for the bedroom and they are working on other things to ensure it all is ready for her. The 22nd will be here soon so they want to have it all set up.

"C" day is coming

2008-12-11T07:34:00.000-08:00

Well the doctors and insurance company heard about Cosima's walking up and down the 19 steps and feel she is getting close to being checked out.

Right now they have "C" (checkout) day as December 22nd just in time to meet her Christmas self-imposed deadline. The doctors feel she has made such good progress and with her mobility that she is ready to head off to Thelma's very soon. The 22nd isn't far away at all so it almost seems like this has crept us on all of us.

Who would have thought 3 months ago she would be this close to being discharged so we are truly grateful for all that has happened.

Cosima is still having some digestive issues and she is working to see if by adjusting her diet she can get this resolved before "C" Day. With all that has happened to her physically it isn't surprising but is a bit frustrating. It might be some of the food she is getting at the nursing center is a bit different than her normal diet or that her body is still readjusting to solid foods. At this point she still isn't sure and neither are the doctors.

But like everything else she has overcome we are sure she will get through this as well though it has been challenging. The digestive issues have been a bit hard to deal with but as with all of it Cosima is managing to cope with her smile still in place.

a cane

2008-12-10T17:58:00.000-08:00

Well it seems appropriate this time of year that with the candy canes Cosima is working on walking with a cane! This sounds even better than the peppermint (or even yummier those sour patch ones) candy cane version.

Most people might not be so excited about a cane but this is a big step up from the walker - plus it isn't so bulky. She called Sam to tell him to make sure to put this on the blog as she is excited about this new installment in her recovery.

We all await the next thing she will surprise us with so stay tuned, or reading in this case.

no big outings

2008-12-07T22:17:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately Cosima didn't really feel well enough when Zach was visiting to venture out anywhere. She had big plans but they fell through when she wasn't feeling so good. Zach left early Sunday morning to head back to Virginia but hopefully the next time he is out he will be able to get out with his mom.

Cosima was able to walk all around the nursing center outside. In the rocks, on the paths, on the grass, and pretty much everywhere she could. Her balance is really improving and she gets around very well with her walker.

The physical therapy routine begins all over again on Monday morning so we are hoping she will be ready to go and will be feeling better.

not so fresh seafood

2008-12-06T17:50:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately today Cosima got food poisoning. It seems like it was most likely from some shrimp. I always say not to eat seafood in a landlocked state but when you don't live near the water it is hard to resist seafood and shrimp in particular.

It is a bit easier to have the landlocked rule when you live close to the water. And since Cosima doesn't really eat beef sticking with red meat inland doesn't work as well. Sam told her to just stick with the chicken but Cosima said she needs to eat something other than chicken as that gets a bit old for her.

So Cosima isn't feeling very good today but hopefully she will feel a bit better tomorrow.

She is really having a good time with Zach in spite of not feeling super well. Having the three of them together - Cosima, Thelma, and Zach is still a good thing even if you aren't quite feeling up to par. Sam was able to chat with all three of them this this evening to catch up.

Tomorrow she is going to take a shower in her own bathroom in her room. This is a simulation for her seeing if she will be able to shower on her own at home. Since this is one of the things she needs to accomplish on her own she is anxious to pass this next test.

huge difference

2008-12-05T22:56:00.000-08:00

Zach flew in on Thursday night to see his mom. When he saw her on Friday morning he was amazed at her progress since he had last seen her. He really couldn't even believe how well she is doing. Since he had seen her a few weeks ago she has made huge strides. The difference is huge compared to just a short time ago. Sam felt the same way when he saw her.

I have people who ask me regularly how she is doing and when I tell them that she is up and about and using a walker they can't believe how far she has come in a relatively short period of time since her accident. Even after sharing it so many times I still can hardly believe it myself.

Cosima was really looking forward to her time with Zach and am sure she will come up with some ideas on someplace she would like him to take her so she can escape from the nursing center for a little while. Stay tuned on where she ends up going this time.

magic number 19

2008-12-03T23:15:00.000-08:00

Cosima had an appointment today and to get in the office she had to walk up and down 19 stairs! We continue to be amazed at her progress and determination - maybe I should double-check and see how many times I have already said this but it continues to be true. One of the conditions of her being checked out is walking stairs so it looks like she is getting this condition checked off quickly.

She was also able to wash her hair by herself in the shower. Seems like a small thing but when you take your next shower notice how you need to lift your arms and use both of them to shampoo. Sometimes some of the mundane everyday tasks can be much more complex than we ever imagined.

Both of these successes make it that much closer for her to go to Thelma's. Will continue to let you know of her next big steps.

happy birthday!

2008-12-01T20:50:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Cosima!

Today is her birthday and several of you have sent birthday wishes to us for Cosima. Thanks so much we are passing these along to her.

She was able to get out to a movie today and she really enjoyed it. It was the new one about Australia and she said it was definitely worth watching. She has wanted to get out to the movies for several weeks now so this was a real treat.

One of her friends came to visit today with a cake to help her celebrate. They were born 4 hours apart at the same hospital and share a similar profession so one could say she received a visit from her "twin" today. She appreciated the visit and cake is always good.

goals

2008-11-30T22:25:00.000-08:00

In order for Cosima to make her goal of being home for Christmas she has been told she needs to be able to accomplish the following 2 items:
1. Be able to climb stairs.
2. Get in and out of a step in shower all on her own.

She is focused on working towards being able to do both of these in time for the holiday but they will both be challenging for her.

On Weds before Thanksgiving she overdid it by quite a bit and paid the price with a very sore body the last few days. This is very typical in the recovery process and most everyone who is recovering from a major injury or surgery will do this at least once in their efforts to get their strength back. She was feeling a bit better by Sunday evening but was still just a bit sore.

Physical therapy starts again Monday and she will be working towards climbing stairs and getting in and out of the shower.

broccoli not turkey

2008-11-28T11:13:00.000-08:00

Cosima was able to go out to eat at Denny's on Thanksgiving with Thelma and Jan. She didn't get the traditional turkey day dinner but instead opted for fish and broccoli. Being able to choose her own meal and get out for a bit was very welcome and she was excited to be able to do so.

Sam spoke with her when she was at the restaurant and he could tell how happy she was to be having Thanksgiving out of her room. Of course the broccoli probably added to her excitement as that is one of her favorite foods.

At this rate looks like a Christmas wish of being home might come true with how well she is doing.

a thankful turkey day

2008-11-27T08:19:00.000-08:00

We all certainly have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. Cosima has made incredible strides and we know this will continue.

Thelma asked me in a card to mention again on the blog how thankful she and Pat are for all the cards, healing prayers, and everything that has been done. She asked if I could word it better but I would say she has it covered. She mentioned that Pat's "attitude of gratitude" is also contributing to her improvement. In the card I loved the part where she said that she is so proud at this time to be Pat's mother.

On Thanksgiving Cosima, Thelma, and Jan will be going out for a Thanksgiving dinner. This will be a great break for her and a wonderful way to celebrate the holiday.

Wherever each of you are this Thanksgiving we hope you enjoy your time with your family and friends. All of our family will be counting our blessings even more this year than the last and stuffing ourselves with turkey and pie. Happy Thanksgiving!

improving makes for a busy day

2008-11-25T07:18:00.000-08:00

Seems that making progress in your recovery is a busy process. Sam got to see first hand on Monday how recovering is Cosima's full time job right now.

Her day starts off early and by the time she has gotten dressed, brushed her teeth, cleaned up, made her bed (yep she can do this by herself now), and eaten breakfast it is time for therapy. Her therapy lasts for about 3 to 3 1/2 hours each day. Between therapy session she eats her lunch and puts on a variety of creams to help with her muscle soreness.

After her therapy is over she has some time to write cards, go outside, put on more creams, and then it is time for dinner.

After dinner she can make some calls or read but then it is time to get ready for bed. Since everything takes her much longer to do getting ready for bed and ready in the morning take quite a bit of time and effort.

The therapy is exhausting and intensive but the strides she is making are incredible. One therapist told Sam Cosima is ahead of schedule and where they thought she would be. This is the kind of news we like to hear but aren't surprised knowing her strength and determination.

Thelma went back home for the day to get supervise the concrete walk being put in - it is actually a concrete walk so Cosima won't have to walk over stones to get in the house instead of new asphalt mentioned in a previous post. She will be back in time for Thanksgiving to celebrate with Cosima.

Here is to more busy days so she can be discharged in time for Christmas!

walking and biking

2008-11-24T07:24:00.000-08:00

Sunday Cosima had quite a bit of physical therapy. She spent most of the time walking with her walker and then on the stationary bike. Part of the therapy is also doing arm exercises and on the bike she uses her arms as well. She also got outside to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine.

She is still stiff and one of the hardest things is for her to initially get herself up. Just think of sometimes how it can be difficult to get out of a chair after sitting for a long time and that is how it is for her all of the time at least for right now.

Thelma is getting things set up at her house for Cosima to come live with her after she is discharged from the nursing center. Fresh asphalt is being poured to make the driveway smoother and handrails were installed on the steps. Both of them are looking forward to this transition when it happens.

The scrabble game they started the last time Sam was there got finished though Sam didn't tell me who won so I am guessing it wasn't him.

chinese and shoes

2008-11-22T21:52:00.000-08:00

Cosima got her wish to be allowed out of the nursing center for a few hours to find some shoes. Her feet are a full size bigger now so her other shoes didn't quite fit. She got the doctor to sign off on her leaving for a bit of freedom.

Sam said she tried on about 40 pairs of shoes in her quest but in the end she found some new tennis shoes to do her therapy in. She also picked out a pair of slippers to keep her feet warm and comfortable to lounge around in.

They also stopped for some Chinese takeout as she had a craving for some good Chinese food and there isn't much of that where she has been. While I was speaking with Sam on the phone Cosima was giving a commentary in the background of all that they had done as well. She was very excited to have gotten out for a bit and am sure she is already planning her next outing.

Sam is impressed with her progress since he saw her a couple of weeks ago. Cosima was walking all over the store with her walker and getting around quite well. Her knees are a bit stiff and sore but that is to be expected.

There is therapy scheduled for Sunday due to the holiday week so she will still have a full week of therapy to keep her on track.

shopping?

2008-11-20T06:51:00.000-08:00

Cosima told Sam last evening she is asking permission from the doctor to go shopping while he is with her this weekend. There are a few things she wants but mainly she is ready to get out and about and have a bit of an adventure. I for one definitely understand the need to shop and after over 2 months I would really want to head to the store as well.

She really wants some different shoes since her feet are swollen still and she needs a much bigger size, plus new shoes are always a good thing.

We will hope the doctor signs off though it may be pushing it just a bit.

It was pretty funny when she told Sam that she is somewhat of an outdoor person and was really missing being with nature - Sam responded by telling her she was more into the outdoors than anyone else he knows and she is definitely an outdoor person. I think we all know how much she loves the outdoors so that was quite the understatement.

While she is speaking with the doctor she is also going to see if she might be allowed to go out to dinner and a movie on Thanksgiving. I mean if you are going to ask permission you might as well go for broke. It does seem like a reminder of when we asked our parents for permission and we just decided to ask for all of it in hopes at least a bit would be approved. Cosima seems to be using the same technique that all teenagers have mastered.

venturing out

2008-11-19T07:25:00.000-08:00

Tuesday Cosima decided she wanted to be the one to pick up her new glasses. Having not ventured out other than to the hospital and for her eye appointment she wanted to get out if only for a little bit. With her love of outdoors and nature it has been hard to be inside for most of the day and just be able to go outside around the nursing center.

Jan was able to take her in the car. With a bit of manuevering she was able to get herself into the car and then used her walker to walk in to the eye doctor and pick up her glasses.

The milestones keep adding up - definitely seems like she is doing everything in her power to make her Christmas goal.

massage

2008-11-17T07:07:00.000-08:00

Cosima was in excellent spirits when both Sam and I spoke with her on Sunday evening. She got a massage yesterday and said it felt very good. Definitely helped her muscles feel better after all the therapy last week. Said it was just what she needed.

Monday starts early - she had to be up at 6:30. I think since it is a nursing home as well days get started early. Makes it a bit tougher for those like Cosima who aren't morning people. And that was definitely passed along to her 2 sons as well.

She is looking forward to her therapy again even though it is so hard because it means she will keep improving. She is very focused on her goal of Christmas so she plans to keep working toward that.

Cosima expressed her gratitude again to everyone who has sent cards, come to visit her, and spoken with her. She is very grateful for all that everyone has done and continues to be amazed at the outpouring of love she has received.

a bit sore

2008-11-15T21:39:00.000-08:00

Cosima seemed to be in very good spirits when Sam spoke to her this evening.

Thursday and Friday she had very intensive physical therapy and is a bit sore today as a result. She went up and down the halls numerous times so she is building up her strength and working on walking.

One of the best things is that she is able to use the restroom on her own now so that definitely increases her self sufficiency.

Her goal is to be out of the nursing center by Christmas which is aggressive - if she isn't quite ready to be released then she wants to at least spend the day with Thelma at her house. Cosima is definitely working towards this and we know that she will do everything she can to achieve it if at all possible.

She is still requesting a break from visitors but we will let you know when this changes. She is still trying to get her strength back right now.

Cosima in action

2008-11-14T07:30:00.000-08:00

Gracia took some picture of Cosima yesterday walking and on the stationary bike. One can tell by her huge grin how happy she is. Of course I think we will all have huge grins on our faces when we view these pictures.

Gracia also said she worked up quite an appetite and for dinner she literally licked her plate clean.

her own walker

2008-11-13T20:14:00.000-08:00

Cosima now has her own walker she uses. This means she is definitely fitting in at the nursing center since that seems to be the preferred mode of transportation.

She is walking very short distances in therapy with a band around her and with a chair directly behind her so she can sit down as needed. Being able to move around on her own (well almost on her own) is huge - after all she has pretty much been in bed for most of the last 2 months. She is finally gaining some independence and mobility though it is still very limited.

Her physical therapy is extremely intensive right now. She sees 3 different therapists each day during the week and it is very exhausting for her. She has so much they are working on with her and it is for a large portion of her day.

The dentist is one of the next priorities on her list and she wants to go when Sam is down there next weekend. She will need someone to lift her in and out of the chair so she has requested his assistance.

As of right now she is still asking not to have visitors. The therapy is wearing her out and she is still concentrating and putting all of her energy into therapy. When Sam spoke with her this evening she was very tired and reiterated her request for the time being. If anyone knows of anyone with plans to visit please ask them to hold off for right now.

Thanks again for your understanding. We are very pleased about her being able to use the walker more and the fact she is seeing progress from her therapy.

partial weight bearing status

2008-11-11T18:47:00.000-08:00

Cosima has reached weight bearing status in one of her legs and partial weight bearing status in her other leg. And some weight bearing status in her right arm and left shoulder. This is a great step in her recovery. What it means is that progressively with the help of a walker she will be able to stand up and put just a little bit of weight on her legs for a short period of time. This will increase with time and therapy.

The visit to the hospital was very exhausting and took quite a bit out of her. During her visit to the hospital she even stood up for a minute to show the doctor her legs are ready to begin taking the weight. Very exciting! And frankly very shortly will make trips to the restroom much easier.

Because of the progressively increased activities and physical therapy Cosima has requested at this time to hold off on having any visitors for a bit. Her concentration and energy needs to be put entirely into her therapy and she wants to save all of her energy and strength for that right now.

We really appreciate all those that have taken time to spend time with her and visit her but she is requesting a break. I will update the blog when she is ready to have visitors again.

Thanks for your understanding and am sure that everyone wants her to be able to focus her energy on her physical recovery as she is at a critical point having now reached partial weight bearing status.

Having to actually make a request like this is a good thing since so many of the people where she is at don't receive the visitors that she does and she feels blessed that she has so many people wanting to come visit.

Please contact me if you have any questions about her request.

welcome mobility

2008-11-10T20:16:00.000-08:00

Today we had some great news - I love it when Sam comes in the door asking me if I want good news or better news after he has spoken with his mom. Cosima has some new found mobility. She has figured out how to get out of her bed, onto the board, and into her wheelchair and is then able to push herself around just a bit. This was something she figured out on her own - though any of us who know her aren't surprised in the least.

We are excited that this gives her some freedom previously she didn't have. She can also put on her pants and shirt as well.

The bus was able to take her to the optometrist today and she had some very good news there as well. Her eyes were not affected during the accident - there was a bit of concern that some damage could have happened during the accident but fortunately nothing did.

A change of prescription is needed but that was not due to the accident but rather just a change in her vision from the last time she had been to the eye doctor. As anyone who wears glasses/contacts knows it seems the vision changes with each visit. A new prescription was ordered and she should have her new eyes in 7 - 10 days.

Tomorrow is the weight bearing test at UNMH. She has an early morning appointment so we are hoping her wait won't be nearly as long this time. Again our fingers are crossed that she has reached weight bearing status.

A very positive day - even more so given it is a Monday. So from Cosima an excellent Monday report.

new digs

2008-11-09T18:45:00.000-08:00

A new room - Cosima has been moved to room 113 which is a private room. She was on the waiting list and finally she has her own space. It is just down from where she was previously. It will be great from a privacy standpoint to have her own space and she is very happy about it.

She has gotten all her items moved and is all set up in her new room as of today. The fridge she had in her old room was moved so she still has access to her own food items.

Zach is still with her and they are enjoying their time together. This evening they were watching a movie on DVD.

Since it is the weekend she has taken a partial break from her physical therapy but it will resume on Monday. She did a bit on her own this weekend without the physical therapists but it is easier to have the structure and someone directing her progress.

diet and therapy

2008-11-07T09:09:00.000-08:00

Cosima has been having some difficulty with her glasses lately so that makes it a bit difficult for her to read and watch her DVD's. Since so much of her time has to be spent in bed entertainment is very important and she hopes that she can get to the optometrist this next week to get her prescription taken care of. It isn't too far from where she is at so hopefully that will work out. In the interim she is making do.

She is having good success with her diet through several sources. A small fridge is available for her use and some of her friends have been able to bring her items she needs. Sometimes the food being served works as well so she eats that when she can. All in all it seems to be working out well so far which is good and she has some options on a daily basis. In fact tonight for dinner she is having Chinese food - sounds pretty good to me.

So far she has been off the prescription drugs for about a week now with the exception of Wednesday for a few hours. Cosima has been able to just take Advil right now and it is working out for her. She would really like to be off of the Advil as well and is working towards that. So much easier to be yourself without the drugs in your system.

Physical therapy has been continuing and she is progressing well. There are doing quite a bit of therapy on both her arms and legs which does take a bit out of her since it is so strenuous.

She is really enjoying her time with Zach right now and and also had a visit with Mary Ann today.

getting some rest

2008-11-06T19:07:00.000-08:00

Cosima has been getting some rest these last few days. She doesn't seem to be 100% caught up but is feeling a bit more rested.

Wednesday her visit to University of New Mexico Hospital didn't turn out to be for the weight bearing status check like she had originally thought. It looks like that may happen next week. Instead they did x-rays of her spine to see how that was healing and it appears to be healing well. It was a long day - 5 hours waiting for the results - without a ton of information. More of a hurry up and wait scenario which can be a bit frustrating.

Cosima now has a board that assists her in getting from her wheelchair into the bed. Previously it would take two people to lift her and now it is quite a bit easier and she can help a bit with the process. This makes it a much easier transition even though she would really like to be able to manage it all herself.

Zach is coming in this evening from Virginia and Cosima is understandably very excited to see him and spend some time with him. He will be there until Tuesday.

weight bearing status?

2008-11-04T19:44:00.000-08:00

Cosima is anxiously awaiting her visit to the University of New Mexico Hospital tomorrow. They are running tests to determine where she is at with her weight bearing status.

Some of her physical therapy has been on hold a bit until her weight bearing status is determined and we have a better idea of where she is at. To reach weight bearing status is a major milestone in her progression and will determine the level of therapy she will receive.

The therapists have been holding off a bit until the latest tests so tomorrow is a big day for her. With all of her broken bones and the fact it has affected all 4 of her limbs the weight bearing status is a major step in her overall recovery. Once she has been classified as weight bearing it will increase her physical therapy and speed up her healing.

We will all have our fingers crossed for tomorrow.

quiet time

2008-11-02T19:31:00.000-08:00

It has been a busy weekend with many visitors coming to see Cosima. It has been a good weekend for her though she does need some time to herself for a bit now.

Cosima made a personal request that she have some down time in the next several days. If visitors can be kept to a minimum and some of the healing that has been coming her way be suspended for a few days she would be grateful. For the next few days she wants to have more alone time both mentally and physically as she feels it would be a good break for her. With so much activity she feels in need of a short time out.

Her catheter was removed and she is glad to have that gone. She also has a visit with an acupuncturist scheduled for this coming week.

Tomorrow she will begin her physical therapy regimen after having the weekend off.

busy busy

2008-10-30T20:22:00.001-07:00

Cosima told Sam that it was a very busy day. She had quite a few visitors today so she enjoyed getting to catch up with them.

She is having physical therapy each day during the work week and it is going well. For the last 1 1/2 days she has been off her pain medications. She is having a bit of pain but it isn't unbearable. Cosima is hoping being off the pain medication will help reduce her stomach pain and make it easier for her to digest her food as well.

In addition to all the other activity the nursing center has had Halloween trick or treaters coming in to get candy and visit the residents. I think this is great especially as most of the residents are older and am sure it is a treat for them to have children visit and see them in their costumes. I love Halloween and would be delighted to have trick or treaters come by for 2 days before the holiday - maybe I will have to figure this one out.

cards and more cards

2008-10-28T19:41:00.000-07:00

All of the cards and letters Cosima has received have filled a drawer. She is so grateful for all of the support and correspondance she has received - in fact she is actually in a bit of awe at how many people have reached out. These mean so much to her and those who have been there have been reading them to her. Please keep them coming as they play a role in her recovery.

Sam told me several times on the phone about just how many there were as he couldn't quite believe it either.

Cosima has touched so many lives and we appreciate that some of this is coming back to her during this difficult time.

Our deepest thanks to everyone who has taken the time to write - it isn't a lost art yet even with the internet!

schedule

2008-10-27T17:17:00.000-07:00

Before Sam leaves he is trying to put together a schedule. So many people have helping out, been visiting, and offereed to assist we wanted to put together a more structured schedule over the next month or two. We want Cosima to know someone will be with her on most days for support and companionship.

So far the schedule consists of the following:
Monday - Angele
Tuesday - Jan
Weds - Angele
Thursday - Gracia
Friday - Gracia
Saturday - open
Sunday - Jan

Sam and Zach are going to try have one of them come down most weekends - it would be a Friday through Monday timeframe though every weekend may not always be possible. Once they have plane tickets and have coordinated through work we will post those dates.

Thelma will also be around quite a bit as well but we don't want to wear her out and also allow her to go home for some days so she can get things taken care of at home and rest. Not to mention sleep in her own bed - we all can relate to how much better we all sleep in our own bed.

If you are able to come down for the day to help out please email me at kaylaschober@gmail.com and we will put you on the schedule. This way it will help us spread out her visitors and also ensure she will have someone with her most of the time during visiting hours. Seeing her friends and family is very important to her and a critical piece to her recovery.

Today has been a very difficult day. Emotionally it has been very hard as she is starting to process even more what has happened to her and what it means for her. I cannot even imagine having to come to grips with the extent of her injuries and the long journey to recovery and have been so impressed with her strength. Even though she has been very strong there are obviously times it will overwhelm her and today was one of those days. She is still having significant pain as well and we aren't sure yet of exactly the source.

This makes it even harder for Sam to have to leave this evening as she keeps asking him how many more hours he will be there for today. Knowing that he has started the process to put a schedule in place makes it just a little bit easier.
We would love to have the gift of time from anyone who is able so please let us know if you would like to be on the schedule. This is not to discourage visitors or anyone who is just able to stop by since we definitely want that to continue. We are just trying to space it out a bit and ensure someone is with her as having a friend with you can make a world of difference, especially if you can know in advance who will be there.

Thanks again for all the thoughts, prayers, visits, and cards it certainly makes her family feel so much better when we aren't able to be there ourselves that there are so many people watching out for her.

Sorry for the long post - I have always said I wanted to write a novel but honestly wasn't trying to do that today.

payback

2008-10-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

After all the years that his mom took care of him while growing up Sam is paying a bit of that back. While he is in Arizona he has been able to help take care a bit the last few days. He has helped brush her teeth and put on her lip salve. When she wants a favorite yogurt he is able to go get it for her. Knowing he can be there for her and spend time with her just holding her hand, keeping her company, and chatting is healing for both of them.

Today Cosima had a good morning. After eating later though she did have some stomach pain and we are unsure if this is related to the food she ate or is from something else.

Sundays seem to be pretty slow days since the staff levels are lower and most of the appts, check-ups, and therapy come during Monday through Friday.

Tomorrow she has several visitors expected along with her appts and therapy so it will be a busy day - seems like it may consist of the same busyness many of us experience on Mondays.

broccoli and chocolate

2008-10-25T11:38:00.000-07:00

Broccoli and chocolate - 2 items Cosima has been craving and she has had both of them now. Last evening she had broccoli and chicken and today she was able to eat a piece of Belgium chocolate.

Today she is a bit more tired but then it was a pretty busy day yesterday. She is currently taking a nap. The therapists aren't there on the weekends so she has a bit of a break.

The therapists at Rio Rancho just started with the assessments so she hasn't gotten through many of the exercises but when she gets those she will be able to practice those on the weekends.

a big change

2008-10-24T19:59:00.000-07:00

Sam is amazed at how far his mom has come since he last saw her. Cosima is in excellent spirits.

Today the therapists got her in the wheelchair to do some tests. Afterwards Sam took her outside in the wheelchair so she could get some fresh air and enjoy the sunshine. She was even able to get off road a bit onto the grass and hug a tree which she has done ever since Sam can remember.

Cosima is able to move her arms and legs quite a bit and can even lift her leg off the bed.

The dietitian met with them today and go over her diet and they are working with her on her special dietary needs. Everyone seems to be very conscientious and nice. The facility is a nursing and rehabilitative center so there are quite a few older people who are there.

It seems like the new facility is a good fit and that they will provide the support and therapy Cosima needs right now.

Nancy's comments

2008-10-23T21:36:00.000-07:00

Nancy sent the following email to my sisters and I this evening that I thought was worth sharing.

"Pat is doing incredibly well when you think of her having broken bones from top to bottom or bottom to top! So good about all of it with a fantastic attitude. She made the remark that she felt her body had really needed a rest and a vacation - I did suggest she try a different mode the next time that the need arises. She was singing in the shower the night before I left - a slightly different experience than most showers - it takes place on a plastic bed with holes in it! And she is so appreciative of everything done for her. She was moved today to the facility where she can have more rehab and therapy. Hopefully that will go well - has the advantage of being about 45 minutes closer to her Mom and friends.

You would all love Sam's grandmother - what a dynamo and just a kick! 83 years old -very petite - uses a walker like Grandma Schober had - says she just takes it along so she has a place to put her purse. And when she takes it along you need to be prepared to RUN to keep up with her! She married her husband's brother after her husband died - but says she is not getting married again as she is all out of O'Neals.

So I did have a good time even tho' under different circumstances than would have been chosen by any of us"

Thanks again Mom for helping out - we are very lucky to have you!

new digs

2008-10-23T19:36:00.000-07:00

Cosima has been moved to the Rio Rancho Nursing and Rehabilitation Center.

Rio Ranching Nursing and Rehabilitative Center
4210 Sabana Grande NE
Rio Rancho, NM
505-892-6603

This is the place where the focus will be on rehabilitation and therapy. Both Nancy and Jan were very impressed with this facility and met some of the therapists they feel will work well with Cosima. Her physical therapy will increase from what she has been receiving at Kindred.

has food ever tasted so good?

2008-10-22T18:20:00.001-07:00

Cosima is continuing to do well eating since the feeding tube was removed. Even though it is mechanically processed being able to eat and taste has to be huge after not eating for over a month on her own. She has been doing very well with her diet so far.

Last evening she was able to get a bath which was something she was eagerly looking forward to. The small things in life like eating and having a bath become big deals when you can't do them. I will have to remind myself at dinner tonight to really enjoy my food and not just shovel it in.

Her spirits remain high and it will be good for her to be a bit closer to her home and many friends. It looks like the move will happen tomorrow morning now but we will update as we get any information.

Nancy left today to head back home to Friday Harbor and Thelma is currently with Cosima right now. Sam will be coming to New Mexico on Friday morning to spend some time with his mom. She is definitely looking forward to their time together and Sam is anxious to get back as well and am sure we will be amazed at how far she has come.

a move is in the works

2008-10-21T16:09:00.000-07:00

It looks like Cosima will be moving in the next day or so to a new facility. She will be discharged from the hospital and will be going to a nursing/rehab facility. We are hoping they will be able to provide both the nursing and rehabilitative care so she won't have to move again but this could change.

Jan and Nancy were able to go look at the 2 options today and were able to choose the one they felt was a better choice for her. It is in Rio Rancho so it may be a bit closer for some of you which will be good. I am very glad the timing worked out so my Mom was able to help look with her nursing background and ask the right questions.

Right now it looks like Cosima will have the semi-private room as none of the private rooms are available currently. They were able to place her on a list for a private room but these are in short supply.

Passing the swallow test was a big step in her moving to the next level of care so this is the next progression in her recovery.

Please check this website before visiting her as we will update it with the address once we have been told she has been moved by the hospital. I will update it as soon as we have confirmation so this will be the first place to get the information after the family has been told.

she passed!

2008-10-20T10:22:00.000-07:00

Cosima passed her swallow test this morning with flying colors! She is currently drinking a glass of water. At noon she will have food - it will be mechanical soft (fancy name for the already been chewed kind of food) but it is food and she will be eating it on her own. This means the feeding tube is gone - so one more tube down.

As we can imagine Cosima is ecstatic to have passed. Cosima and Nancy met with the dietitian and she was very helpful and recognizes and understands her dietary needs. The hospital will be very accommodating to the dietary requests.

Angele, Cosima's friend, showed up shortly after the test and she is off to the coop to pick up some special items for her that aren't available at the hospital. There is a small fridge they can store these items for her use.

Thelma will be back down to the hospital tomorrow and Jan will be coming down tomorrow as well.

weekend wheels

2008-10-19T16:51:00.000-07:00

This weekend has gone very well. Nancy was able to do the therapy with Cosima that she learned from the therapists. This is good as it means she didn't have time off and could keep progressing.

Cosima was able to spend quite a bit of time in the wheelchair though there still is some pain from her broken pelvis when she sits in it. She has also gotten in plenty of outside time as well. Her spirits are good and Nancy reports she is doing marvelously well considering all that she has been through.

Tomorrow is the swallow test which is a big one since that could mean solid food for the first time if she passes. There is obviously a bit of stress involved looking forward to this since it such a big step and Cosima wants to make sure she passes. The big focus over the last few days has been practicing the swallow test.

Several visitors stopped by so she enjoyed seeing her friends. Thelma had to go back home today since her furnace went out but they found the part so they should be able to get it fixed for her tomorrow.

Sleep has been much easier the last few evenings as well. Cosima feels she has been resting much better lately.

We all have our fingers crossed for the big test tomorrow and will update the blog when we have any news.

therapy and more therapy

2008-10-17T15:40:00.001-07:00

Cosima once again got quite a bit of therapy today. She seems in good spirts and said that today (Friday) is going well for her.

Nancy (my mom) is there with her today along with Thelma and Jan. During the therapy this morning Nancy spoke with the therapists and learned what they were doing so she can help Cosima with some of the exercises over the weekend. The therapists aren't at the hospital during the weekends and they thought this would be great is she could help Cosima continue it when they aren't there.

Another swallow test is scheduled for Monday so Cosima is getting ice chips frequently in preparation and the speech therapy helps get her ready as well. Nancy told her that she would see if there was any way to get chocolate flavored ice chips since Cosima was wanting some chocolate earlier.

She has been up and about for most of the day and was able to get outside for quite a bit. The weather was beautiful outside today so she was able to take advantage of it.

another change of the guard

2008-10-16T14:41:00.000-07:00

Zach left New Mexico Tuesday evening to head back home to Virginia Beach Having him there for all this time was a great help and know that Cosima was grateful to have him there with her.

My mom, Nancy, is going to travel to New Mexico on Thursday to be with Cosima for 5 days beginning on Friday. She is a nurse so she will be able to help manage her care and ask the medical questions we might not know to ask. She has been the one I call about questions and double-check my information with though I still get it wrong sometimes in spite of her assistance.

Thelma will be there as well during this time. She was able to go home for a couple of days to get things caught up there but is heading back to Kindred to be with her daughter.

Jan and Gracia will be with Cosima on Thursday.

UNMH check up

2008-10-15T14:28:00.000-07:00

Tuesday Cosima saw the Orthopaedic doctor at the University of New Mexico Hospital to check in on how she is healing with her broken bones and her wounds. Things are progressing and her wounds are healing. As part of the procedure they give a weight bearing test as well. Right now she isn't weight bearing yet which is not a surprise. This was part of the test they give as an overall check.

She is still functioning well without any additional oxygen so it looks like she is off it permanently right now.

Therapy has been continuing as well this week.

sunday shower

2008-10-13T13:41:00.000-07:00

Sunday was a pretty low key day. The big news is that Cosima got the shower she wanted. They put her in a shower chair and then wheeled her into the shower room. Zach was able to help her shampoo her hair at the same time. She really enjoyed this but sitting in the chair is still a bit painful on her tailbone though I think taking the shower was definitely worth it.

Last night she didn't have any restraints so that made it easier for her to sleep.

The respiratory therapist decided to remove her oxygen completely so she is no longer on oxygen right now. They monitored the oxygen levels in her blood throughout the day and if she drops below 87 they will restart it. So far she was able to stay off the oxygen even through the night.

Several visitors came by as well - sorry we haven't been able to keep track of everyone to mention them by name but having the company and seeing her friends is good. The best time for visits are late morning and early afternoon. She is most awake then and her pain levels are most controlled at this point. Other times are usually when she will have therapy and have hospital staff checking on her. She may have appointments during the late morning and early afternoon but for the most part this is the best part of day to get in some quality time with her.

Cosima is still doing well with the ice chips - having these about once an hour. It seems she is aspirating very little of the ice chips so this is good progress and hopefully will eventually lead to her being able to have solid foods.

Monday is a busy day as physical, occupation, and speech therapy are all scheduled to happen. We got a bit off track at the end of last week with these because of everything else that was going on so it will be good to be back on schedule.

ready for a day off

2008-10-12T14:16:00.000-07:00

Cosima told Sam today that she is ready for a day off from the hospital. I am sure she would like a break but it seems like a day off may be a bit premature at this point. Sam told her it was like a job where you don't get time off but fortunately she didn't ask about a paycheck from this job other than getting better.

She was able to go outside again for a short while and this time seems to be a welcome respite for her.

Therapy will resume on Monday and the speech therapy should help her get ready to pass her swallow test so she can eventually move to solid food.

ice chips

2008-10-12T05:11:00.000-07:00

Cosima is able to have 1/4 cup of ice chips every 2 hours. So far it seems she is handling these much better with minimal coughing. She hasn't had speech therapy for a few days now but it should resume again on Monday. This may slow down her ability to take the swallow study but Zach was told we shouldn't try and rush it.

She had a test to determine if she possibly has gallstones but so far the results aren't back yet. This would no be uncommon for her to have these at this point and is standard procedure to test for gallstones.

Cosima has tried to get out of bed now during the night when she was by herself so they are concerned she might try again. She does seem to have a reaction to the morphine so this may have contributed to her trying to get up and her confusion. She hasn't tried for a bit now so hopefully we are past this point though while she is by herself during the night she is restrained to make sure she won't hurt herself if she tries again.

On Saturday Jan was able to take her outside again in the wheelchair and she enjoyed getting outside of her room again.

better spirits

2008-10-11T16:09:00.000-07:00

Cosima was in much better spirits on Saturday. It helps if you don't have any major procedures and are left alone a bit more.

She was able to go outside again today and am sure that lifted her spirits. Being able to get a bit of fresh air and venture outside of her room provided a boost.

We should have more information later but wanted to let people know it has been a much better day for her.

feeding tube

2008-10-10T00:38:00.000-07:00

Thursday was a challenging day. They needed to reinsert her feeding tube through her nose but Cosima didn't want to have it done as she was wants to have solid foods. Her swallow test showed she wasn't ready so she had to have a feeding tube put back in so she could get nourishment. They might put a feeding tube in through her stomach but this would need to be done at UNMH and it can't be done until next week.

They aren't able to give her the swallow test again for another week as she needs to strengthen her upper esophageal sphincter (UES) muscle before it can be done again.
During the test on Wednesday it showed she was still aspirating the food she was given and the concern is that it could end up in her lungs which would be dangerous.

It took several attempts but they were finally able to get it back in. They did sedate her some for the procedure but it is still very uncomfortable. The rest of they day she was sleeping from the effects of the sedatives.

Also on her Weds trip to UNMH they removed the sutures from her skin graft and took off the cast on her right arm. She was given a removable wrist brace for support.

Getting the feeding tube back in was a major hurdle and we are hoping for a much easier day Friday.

visiting UNMH

2008-10-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

Cosima went to the University of New Mexico Hospital (UNMH) today. She rode in the ambulance back to UNMH and met with the spine clinic in the afternoon. Her neck brace is off now which should make it a bit more comfortable for her. This should be a good improvement as the neck brace put her in a position where she was facing upwards and didn't have much mobility from the neck up.

Unfortunately she is still on the feeding tube which she isn't thrilled about. She didn't pass the xray test today as she isn't quite ready for it to be removed. They will see where she is at in about a week. It was a bit difficult putting the tube back in as she was really wanting to have solid foods at this point.

So far we have still been impressed by how she has progressed in spite of her injuries. She will still have challenging days ahead as she realizes the challenges in front of her but know her strong spirit and determination will help pull her through.

new bed

2008-10-07T22:11:00.000-07:00

Cosima seemed to be a bit uncomfortable today and the hospital determined that there might be something wrong with her bed so the gave her a different model which was the newest one they had. So far it seems to be a bit more comfortable and she is pleased with it.

She again had physical therapy in the morning and was able to get in the wheelchair again and venture outside. Her spirits did start to improve in the afternoon again - am sure going outside helped quite a bit.

Tomorrow she has an appt with the speech therapist and they will see if she can be taken to xray for the the swallow study. If all goes well she could have her feeding tube removed and be on solid foods. Not sure if ice cream and chocolate will be first on the agenda but know she will be making requests.

Also on the schedule for tomorrow is her visit to University New Mexico Hospital to the spine clinic. She might be able to have her neck brace removed - at least our fingers are crossed for this one as this will be so much more comfortable not to have it on.

Several visitors have stopped by in the last few days. She has enjoyed the companionship. I know several others are scheduled to visit including her friend Dr Dan. If you are planning on coming from out of town please check with one of us to make sure she will be around as there are several appointments scheduled now at UNMH and we wouldn't want you to miss her.

Cosima has been very thankful for the flowers she has received. She has made a request though that due to the smell that anyone wanting to send any other flowers hold off for now. The smell is a bit overwhelming for her right now and she is in a smaller room that she shares with another patient. The flowers are beautiful and all the thoughtfulness people have shown is very appreciated. Please continue to send cards and your thoughts her way.

on wheels outside

2008-10-06T16:08:00.000-07:00

Cosima was able to be in a wheelchair for a bit today and was able to go outside with Zach to get some fresh air. I am sure getting out of the bed helped along with actually being outside of a hospital room for the first time in over 3 weeks (I don't count the ambulance ride to Kindred a week ago).

They did the ice chip test today but her respiration was still a little low so the trach will need to stay in for at least a few more days. Once she passes the ice chip test x-rays are needed to make sure it is ready to come out.

Today she asked Sam if she would be able to leave soon and go to Wal-Mart and then on home. This might be just a bit ambitious right now but we are encouraged that she is so eager to be on her way to recovery. Sam told her once the doctors and nurses said ok he would sign off on it but it would have to wait until then.

She is very ready to leave but we still have quite a ways to go in her recovery process. I think she is still processing all of this in her mind and it might still take a bit for her to wrap her mind around just how long it might take. Remember Cosima is just now being able to process all that has happened while the rest of us have had several weeks to do so.

The central line was taken out of her shoulder yesterday so it was a bit sore especially during physical therapy. During physical therapy they did some range of motion and did give her some pain medication before so it would help with her pain levels. Being on her side is still pretty painful for her at this time.

It seems Cosima is also ready to some of her own hygiene items and was wondering if Zach could go get her some things for her shower. They have a large shower room at Kindred where they can wheel someone in on their bed and the shower heads are in the ceiling. It seems like a pretty slick set-up and am sure a shower would even beat chocolate and ice-cream right about now.

first chocolate now its ice cream

2008-10-05T20:39:00.000-07:00

Cosima had quite a few visitors today and it is great she can finally talk and share with those who visit her. Today she seemed in very good spirits and was very alert and interactive. She was even able to get around to watching a movie as well.

Her request now is for some ice cream. First chocolate and now ice cream - Sam was sure her first request would be for broccoli. Guess when you haven't eaten solid foods for several weeks veggies aren't at the top of the list for anyone not even Cosima.

She was given some pain medication last evening and it helps her get some rest during the night. During the days now Cosima is very alert and awake. So far she doesn't seem to remember the accident or her helicopter ride to the hospital but does remember the days on the bike tour before the accident.

Sam was able to speak with her briefly on the phone again today though with the trach he says if he didn't know it was her he wouldn't recognize her voice. We have been getting daily reports from Zach on her progress and current status. Having him there with her right now lets us know she is in very good hands. It seems like each day has been more positive than the last one for several days now which I know is the news we have all been looking forward to.

talking!

2008-10-04T11:46:00.000-07:00

I feel like this is the best news I have had to report - Cosima is talking! Her spirits are much higher as well. Just a few minutes Sam was able to speak with her on the phone so that is very exciting. She just started being able to talk this morning. I feel like we are really on the road to recovery with her ability to talk to us now and am sure this will give her a huge lift as well since she can finally let everyone know what she thinks and wants.

She says it does hurt on her side when she moves. The doctors and nurses are going to let her have say in her pain medication as long as her vitals remain stable.

She told Zach she wants some chocolate so I would say we are on the mend. I am sure after all this time she definitely deserves some very good chocolate when she is able to eat. Yesterday she indicated she wanted a drink of something when she saw Zach having something to drink.

Hopefully in the next day or 2 she can be able to start eating. They will first take some pictures of her throat to make sure she is ready.

slow news day

2008-10-03T17:02:00.000-07:00

Not much to report on Cosima for the day. She hasn't had pain medication for 24 hours now and seems to be comfortable. When being asked if she wants any she has been turning it down. There is most likely still some pain medication in her system from previously so that may be helping a bit.

Her vital signs are all looking good, normally we have been able to tell by increased pulse and blood pressure when she is in pain, so this looks to be very good right now.

Zach is trying to figure out a way for her to write since she still isn't able to speak. Because her neck brace puts her neck in such a way that her eyes are more on the ceiling he hasn't figured out a solution yet. There are rumors of some type of a foam pen where those with casts can still write so he is looking into this.

Would love to have her be able to communicate more than just via a yes or no nod. She is mouthing words but so far no success in understanding what she is trying to say. After all this time she should have quite a bit to say when she is able to. Am sure if I hadn't spoken in almost 3 weeks everyone would be in dread of when I started to speak and it was all stored up. Everyone would be making a mad dash for the exit to escape. We will see how much she has to share when she can finally talk.

glasses are on

2008-10-02T13:47:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the late post today.

Cosima is becoming more awake now. She is lucid and is starting to refuse her pain medication so I would definitely say she is more aware and starting to assert herself. She is also wearing her glasses now throughout the day.

The nursing staff at Kindred has a 6 to 1 patient ratio versus nurse compared to the 2 to 1 we had at New Mexico University Hospital. We were initially concerned about the big difference but so far the level of attention seems to be very sufficient.

Physical Therapy has started - right now it is just basic range of motion. Having very little movement the last few weeks we are pleased that this is starting to help prevent any further muscle atrophy.

The staff also did an ice test in her mouth, not sure what all this entails but it has to do with being able to remove the trach. The optimistic goal is to have her off the trach by the end of the weekend but more realistically it could be another week.

a temporary new home

2008-10-01T08:45:00.000-07:00

Cosima has been moved to a different hospital in Albuquerque. Her new home for the next few weeks is Kindred Hospital. This is a LTAC (long term acute care) facility and is step 2 of her recovery plan. We were given 2 choices of LTAC facilities and Kindred is the one we chose.

They were able to move her since her pneumonia seems to be gone and she is no longer running a fever.

Yesterday Cosima seemed to be much more alert and her pain seemed to be under control. She is not talking yet as they will have to teach her how with the trach.

Visiting hours at Kindred are from 10-9 daily. This hospital is a 57 bed facility just 1 exit south of New Mexico University Hospital.

Kindred Hospital - Albuquerque
700 High Street NE
Albuquerque, NM 87102
Phone: (505) 242-4444
Room # 108-2 though this may change

If you would like to send cards please do so to Cosima's attention at the above address.

new accessories

2008-09-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

A busy day today for Cosima. Her staples were removed and most of the stitches on her right arm were removed as well. So far the skin graft on her elbow looks good and it is being accepted. In about 5 - 7 days they will remove the sutures.

She received new dressings and bandages. To complete her new accessories a new half cast was put on her wrist and her broken thumb was splinted. After all the activity she got a well deserved rest throughout the rest of the morning and into the early afternoon.

Her temperature remained normal throughout the day. She will continue on the antibiotics for another week. Again there was quite a bit of drainage from her lungs which is a result of her pneumonia.

In order to increase her overall awareness the medical team is working on reducing her level of morphine and the sedatives she has been receiving.

One of the next steps is to see if they can get the neck brace off. This seems to be a source of discomfort and having seen it I would definitely agree as it is quite bulky and looks very uncomfortable especially on her small frame. Zach suggested a large pediatric neck brace as it may improve the position her neck is in and would reduce the pressure on her C7 fractures in her neck. An MRI needs to be done first before this can happen so we will wait for that to be scheduled.

Her physical therapy should start tomorrow as well for her legs and arm.

Haily has been her nurse now for a couple of days and it is wonderful to have the consistency. She was there during the first few days as well and has an amazing bed side manner.

oxygen assistance

2008-09-29T11:57:00.000-07:00

Cosima is still breathing on her own during the day. We were hoping this would continue as she was just removed from the ventilator yesterday. During the evening she is still on the ventilator. She is getting 40% oxygen through her trach which is down from 50% as of yesterday. It is just giving her an extra bit of assistance right now.

She is still pretty out of it and not very responsive which is most likely due to the pneumonia. Her temperature has come down to normal ranges so that is a good step.

Preliminary reports on her skin graft show it seems to be taking. We should continue to get further updates on this but so far so good. Her staples are still in her legs and we hope these can be removed soon.

As you can imagine it has been difficult to keep up with all of the communication. We apologize to anyone who has left us a message we haven't returned yet or contacted as quickly as we would have liked too. Contacting us by email is probably the best way to get a quicker response since we are balancing all of this with our busy work schedules. Thanks for your patience.

kicking the vent to the curb

2008-09-28T10:39:00.000-07:00

They have removed the ventilator and Cosima is doing well with out! This is very exciting and a huge step. She will still be hooked up to the ventilator again in the evening to help her breathe while she is sleeping. This is a very common way to wean patients off the ventilator so it may be an on again off again process.

Her temperature is still elevated and has come down just a little bit. She is still being given antibiotics for her pneumonia so we aren't out of the woods yet. Yesterday she felt hot and was perspiring. This is still a sign of infection so they are monitoring her very closely right now.

A new central line was installed yesterday afternoon since the doctors felt the auxiliary lines weren't quite sufficient.

Thelma was able to take a break as she has been at the hospital for so much of the time. She was going to church today and I am sure they are looking forward to hearing her in the choir.

Friday's news

2008-09-27T10:31:00.001-07:00

Friday morning Cosima had her surgery for the tracheotomy. They weren't able to remove the staples in her leg at this time but they are able to do this procedure in her room at a later time. For most of the morning and early afternoon she was asleep and groggy when she did start to wake up from the anesthesia.

She is now not breathing through her mouth anymore but through a breathing tube attached to her throat. This can take a bit of time to adjust to but after a short while Cosima seemed to adjust to it and become more comfortable.

There is a single tube attached to a "plug" in her neck, just below her esophagus. This bypasses her esophagus and delivers oxygen directly to her air passage way (to her lungs) through the trachea. This device blocks the 'flap' we normally use to control the flow of air into our lungs or fluids/solids into our stomach - it is controlled manually like a switch. She still has a feeding tube through her nose and saliva tube in her mouth to help, but the air is direct now through the trachea. The Doctor was quick to remind us that this is not a permanent operation. She will likely have a scar from the operation, but it will be removed as she becomes more capable to breath on her own. Overall it is supposed to much easier to breath this way and her lungs should not have to work as hard.

When asked if she would be able to breathe on her own without the ventilator the doctor indicated maybe as soon as this weekend they would start to look at this. Initially they will try for shorter intervals of time off the ventilator, since the risk is far lower now and if she is having difficultly she can be immediately be give assistance back with the ventilator without complications since she now has a trach.

Cosima will not be able to talk while connected to the respirator, as this blocks the air passage way and "air pressure" from reaching her throat and therefore there is no air to move or make sound with. This makes sense if you think about it. Our ability to speak and make sounds is heavily dependent upon air pressure. Without air, there is no sound.

It was confirmed yesterday that Cosima has pneumonia. They had tested for it and the tests showed she did have it. She was starting to run a bit of a fever and she is on antibiotics to treat it. Already her fever has come down so the antibiotics seem be working.

3rd benevolent fund

2008-09-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

There has been another benevolent fund set up for those in the Los Alamos area - please check on the left hand side for details on how to donate at the branch there or the locations in Santa Fe and White Rock.

Gracia, one of Cosima's friends, has generously commited to donating all class fees she collects from teaching Hatha Yoga in Los Alamos and White Rock to Cosima's Medical Fund. If you are in the area please join her for a class.

tracking well

2008-09-26T07:04:00.000-07:00

Cosima is schedule for the tracheotomy this morning. They will also remove the staples on her legs during the surgery as well.

Yesterday Zach said there were quite a few doctors in her room and all said that she was doing well which is good to hear.

Right now they are changing up her pain medications as she is building up a tolerance to some of the ones she has been on. The new ones are longer lasting and she won't have to receive such frequent doses. This will allow her to sleep more and let her body heal naturally.

She has also had her central line in her chest removed since it was primarily being used for a saline drip. A new peripheral line was placed in her left wrist.

All these things may seem small but they do indication she is on the right track and her progress is moving in the right direction.

future care

2008-09-25T14:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday the social worker sat down with Jan, Thelma, and myself to go over potential steps for Cosima's care after being in the Intensive Care Unit. All time frames are very rough estimates and this is just the initial outline for her next steps in her care after the ICU.

UNMH is for trauma patients and once they are stable they are downgraded to another floor of the hospital or moved to another facility. It is currently anticipated she will be at UNMH for another couple of weeks.

Step 2 is Long Term Acute Care, or LTAC, as I will refer to it going forward. This is for patients who still need a very high level of care but are stable and have their scheduled surgeries completed. They handle patients who require extended hospitalization to meet their medical needs. Anticipated time is about 2-3 weeks here.

Step 3 is a Skilled Nursing Facility, called SNF, and this is for non weight bearing patients. At this stage she would need to be breathing on her own and no longer on the ventilator. They would provide range of motion therapy. Estimated time here is about 4-6 weeks.

Step 4 is a Rehabilitative Center. Cosima would go here when she is no longer non-weight bearing. They would provide up to 3 hours a day of Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, and Speech Therapy. I do not have an estimate for the time she would spend here. The goal here is for her to be able to be as independent as possible and provide basic care for herself.

After this there would be ongoing physical therapy but we don't have many more details on this yet.

Yesterday we looked at LTAC facilities and chose one we feel would best suit her needs. It is located in Albuquerque a short distance from where she is now. We all felt it was an easy decision to choose the one we did.

Please keep in mind this is a very rough outline and there are many variables but right now this is the initial plan. There will be more to come but wanted to give a brief summary of anticipated next steps.

change of the guards

2008-09-25T07:14:00.000-07:00

Zach, Cosima's younger son, arrived yesterday evening. In the ICU visiting hours end at 6 but they also have visitation from 9-11 at night so he was able to see his mom. Cosima was awake when we arrived and was very happy to see him. Much of the time we were there she did sleep after being given some more pain killers but it is always good to see her relaxed. It was nice we had an opportunity to go through some things and chat before I leave this morning.

It is a bit hard to leave her - know it was extremely difficult for Sam to do so but Zach will take excellent care of her as will Thelma and Jan and all of her friends. The internet and email becomes an even better invention right now so we can all be in touch frequently. Oh and did I mention those cell phones - those seem to work out pretty well too.

She is continuing to trend in the right direction. Right now the tracheotomy looks like it will take place on Friday.

post surgery

2008-09-24T14:17:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the late post - know several of you were wondering on the outcome but this is the first chance I have had to give an update.

Cosima's surgery took about 2 hours. They just operated on her elbow but did not do the tracheotomy yet. This will be done on Friday as the surgeon wasn't available during her surgery to do it.

We have been told the surgery went well but don't have a ton of information yet as we haven't spoken directly to the hand surgeon. They did a split-thickness skin graft which contains the epidermis with only a portion of the dermis. They didn't have to take a portion of her muscle which is a better outcome. We won't know until Monday if it was successful and it has taken. The skin was taken from her upper thigh.

I have been told she will have to be sure to wear sunscreen diligently on her arm for the next year or so as it will be very sensitive to the sun. I am putting anyone with her while she is outside in charge of making sure she does this.

She was resting for much of the afternoon. The lights were off which was a refreshing change, nothing like florescent lighting shining down on you constantly. The head of the ICU likes the lights on as he thinks the it stimulates the patients so some nurses shut them off and he walks by and turns them on. It is actually a bit amusing. I was almost thinking about buying lamps but somehow don't think they would let those in.

Later on in the day we went to look at long term acute care facilities which is the next step in her recovery. I will post more on this later and go through the next steps. At this time the projection is for her to be at UNM in the ICU for about 1 to 1 1/2 weeks.

in surgery currently

2008-09-24T10:00:00.000-07:00

Cosima was taken off to surgery about 10 today. I have now been told the surgery will be about 2 hours and another 1/2 hour if they do the tracheotomy. They would like to do the tracheotomy at the same time so she doesn't have to go back into the operating room again.

The tracheotomy is so they can take the breathing tube out of her mouth. If they leave it in too long it can cause scarring and damage the vocal cords. This will mean Cosima can begin to talk with us when she is ready since she won't have the tube in her mouth. It will also make it easier for her to breath since the tube is shorter. Right now she still needs oxygen. When they take out the tube out of her neck the scarring should be minimal and it will heal quickly.

The doctors and nurses were quick to reassure us it is nothing like what is shown on tv and is a relatively quick procedure.

I will give another update after her surgery.

surgery scheduled

2008-09-23T22:54:00.000-07:00

It was a somewhat busy day - busier than we had anticipated. They reinserted an A line into her arm for the hospital staff to receive constant blood pressure readings as the other one failed yesterday evening.

She had several visitors today - Michael Silverdragon, Berta, and Angel (hope I am spelling the names correctly). They were able to spend a bit of time with her. Thelma's pastor from Jemez also came by as well but wasn't able to see her as the doctors were with her at that time.

Another piece of good news is that Thelma was able to get her hearing aids adjusted today though everything suddenly seemed a bit loud afterwards.

Cosima also got a bath (well as close as you can receive while in bed) and am sure that has got to feel better for her. Hey this is a big event while you are in ICU and it takes a bit of time. Hopefully anyone reading this won't have to have this done but if so be happy to know they kick everyone out of the room. All the things you take for granted on a daily basis - will be sure to really enjoy my shower tomorrow morning.

Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow - though I don't have an exact time. This surgery is to repair the wound on her elbow. They will take some skin and muscle from her back area to repair the elbow. The surgeon is very positive about the operation and it is a critical piece to her healing. The estimated time for the surgery is 7 hours. It will take about 5 days to know if the skin graft has been successful or if it is rejected.

I read her some of the journal entries, emails, and comments and she seemed very appreciative of all the thoughts. We have several more to read to her as well when she is ready.

Zach, her younger son, arrives tomorrow evening and am sure it will be very good for Cosima to see him. Have a safe flight!